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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Pink Slip Proclivities: "Wow, Man, The Government Is Shut Down!"

Shut Down

Now, the House and Senate, you know they love to bicker
Over which kind of political poison will end the country quicker
So they decided to act once more like ugly, partisan clowns
And trigger an ingenious plan to shut the government down.

First, the Republicans worked the act about health care repeal
And urged all those wacky tea party faithful to scream and squeal.
The party declared "It's the most insidious law known to man!"
While pious Democrats claimed, "Look, bozos, it's the law of the land."

Boehner conspired to blame anti-Christ Obama and the Democrat senate,
But Reid said the GOP had “gone off their rockers” and had the craziest tenants.
Both parties claimed to stand for what every proper and good American seeks
As they decisively took no action and cost the economy $1 billion a week.

And, since the citizens expected elected officials to display such childish antics,
The shutdown caused hardly a ripple of concern or the projected upheaval or panic.
The lowly federal employees deemed non-essential took the expected blow
As they quietly left, unsure of if and when they would work after the dreadful furlough.

You see, Congress kept getting checks in their pockets even after the country closed
Because the 27th Amendment protected their wallets from getting the almighty hose.
As the 435 well-paid lawmakers collectively moaned, “This is so disgraceful,”
They all wanted their gullible constituents to believe they were honest and tasteful.

Elephants and donkeys pointed long fingers of blame at their political circus foes
Claiming attempts at compromise had hit a frightening and extremely dangerous new low.
The IRA thankfully cut back but parks and museums also became among the first to lock.
At the National Zoo employees and the cute baby pandas simply went off the clock.

But, Americans, even in this terrible shutdown of gigantic proportions, have no fear.
Party members will soon be forced to open their jaundiced eyes and prejudiced ears. 
They will claim they came to their senses and acted in faith for the good of all 
While they diligently respond to the all-important-for-election public polls and phone calls.

Rusty closed valves of the American government will open to a flow very soon,
So new pork and cigar smoke can fill the barrels and halls of capital saloons.
The nation will little note nor long remember the day the government stopped.
Likely a self-proclaimed political hero will claim a solution was all part of a rise to the top.

And, I believe Congress will join to propose the creation of a new national attraction
With leisurely sessions of spectacles unmatched by their wild, fervid, and daring actions.
Full of stony monuments and contentious animals of every conceivable native tree,
The latest government project is the long-awaited Congressional Zoo of Washington D.C. 

Frank R. Thompson
October 1, 2013

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