Highway A1A: Margaritaville Revisited:

Never Gonna Make It to Margaritaville Nibblin' on bread crumbs Watchin' old reruns Of Andy Griffith on my tv. Thumbin' through bill stacks High as my butt crack Feel those implants grind in my knees. Not gonna make it to Margaritaville. Doc said I should never eat salt. Some people claim that the system's to blame But I know it's the geezer's own fault. I've had a few lesions And been through the flu seasons. Nothin' to show but those premiums swell. But they're not important 'Cause I am dead certain I'll run out of cash before I get well. Not gonna make it to Margaritaville The bank says I've way overbought. Some people claim that my pension's to blame But I know it's the geezer's own fault I blew out my heart stent. Then, my old tool bent. Fuel costs too much to cruise far from home. So I had a heart bypass And stayed here and passed gas, Popped me some cold ones and wrote dirty poems. Not gonna make it to Margaritaville. Maybe I need testosterone shots. Some people claim that my old age's to blame But I know it's the geezer's own fault So, I'll stay here with beach dreams Just eat some cheap ice cream Just stick an umbrella into my beer. Strip down to my Speedo As Bertha and me go To the kid's pool in the yard to keep our butts cool. Not gonna make it to Margaritaville. Condos, sand and Corona malt. Some people claim that my life style's to blame But I know it's the geezer's own fault Yes, I know, it's reality's fault. Yes, I know, it's nobody's fault. My deepest apologies to Jimmy Buffet. Sung to "Margaritaville"