“What we call our destiny is truly our character and that character can be altered. The knowledge that we are responsible for our actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging, because it also means that we are free to change this destiny.
"One is not in bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the elements.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934
It is actually frightening to realize our freedom involves personal responsibility. We cannot say, "We had no choice," and simply relieve ourselves from responsibility of everything we have done and have not done. Dealing with ever-increasing responsibility is vital to enacting needed change. George Bernard Shaw once said: “Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.”
I am often amused at the comments of those with spirited ideas who simply embrace freedom and liberty without considering the requirement of active membership in a responsible society. Braying about their Constitutional rights and displaying symbols like flags, declarations, and historical characters, those who dwell on these things are superficial, and, quite frankly, limited to private thoughts and emotions not their own, but given to them by society.
"Bondage to the past" is dangerous and threatens important, needed change. As Nin says, we should, instead, look back and "dissect the elements" of the past in order to "alter the chemistry." Our future involves building a new character, one bettered by our examination of what has come before. We cannot be content with living like parasites -- merely existing upon the thinking of others.
Changing old practices is difficult. It requires great thought. Foremost, the consideration requires us to distinguish the difference between unavoidable mistakes that hamper human endeavors and serious violations that enslave us. Brave, open minds in search of the truth are capable of this exercise, and we who wish to learn must practice diligently to hone our skills of discernment.
Ayn Rand, in Atlas Shrugged, stated ...
“Learn to distinguish the difference between errors of knowledge and breaches of morality. An error of knowledge is not a moral flaw, provided you are willing to correct it; only a mystic would judge human beings by the standard of an impossible, automatic omniscience.
"But a breach of morality is the conscious choice of an action you know to be evil, or a willful evasion of knowledge, a suspension of sight and of thought. That which you do not know, is not a moral charge against you; but that which you refuse to know, is an account of infamy growing in your soul. Make every allowance for errors of knowledge; do not forgive or accept any break of morality.”
To err is human is the old saying. Yet, while both ethics and morals involve "right" and "wrong" conduct, they are different principles. Ethics refer to rules provided by an external source, such as codes of conduct in our workplaces or principles in religions. Morals refer to an individual’s own principles regarding right and wrong.
Here is an example of a clashes between ethics and morals at the workplace where company ethics can play against personal morality. Corporate greed that blurs its own ethical lines coupled with unreasonable demands on time can lead us to choose between a stressful, demanding and consuming work
ethic and family obligations seen as
moral obligations to spouse and children. Conversely, we could lose our jobs because of poor personal morals, employee theft being a common reason for dismissal.
So, our ethical considerations stem from concerns to an external social system while our moral considerations are those internal values that define our character. And, as ethics are dependent on others for definition and can vary between contexts, morals are usually consistent, although they can change if our beliefs change.
Morality transcends our cultural norms. Immanuel Kant said that moral judgments are binding on all human beings no matter what kind of society in which they live. Dr. Yitzchok Block, Ph.D. in philosophy from Harvard University and professor emeritus at The University of Western Ontario in London, Canada says ...
"Many people are inclined to say that the only thing that can justify the categorical element of moral judgments is the fact that G-d commanded them. However, being commanded by G-d is not a necessary and sufficient condition for something being a categorical, moral judgment.
"What then is the justification of a moral judgment? This is a difficult question to answer, but I believe it is connected with the idea that we were made in the image of G-d, and therefore contain innate elements of natural goodness which is part and parcel of the soul and life of every human being, and is expressed in the two basic moral senses of justice and compassion."
(Dr. Yitzchok Block. "What is Morality?" chabad.org)
Establishing Morality
We wish everyone was moral, but that wish is simply not based in reality. The lack of moral upbringing, especially by parents as both dedicated teachers and positive role models, greatly hinders our society. It seems that fewer and fewer people seem to care that their offspring possesses the integrity necessary to abide by a strict moral code.
Couple that indifference with the fact that humans have free will, and we face a troubled society full of both errors of knowledge and breaches of morality. Our world resembles a "survival-of-the fittest" jungle environment as the loss of an ethical upbringing contributes to the creation of immoral people who freely engage in questionable activities and pose serious harm to themselves and to others.
We desperately need to instill the values of morality in order to have a more-caring society. To do this, we must teach critical thinking and values that reinforce cautiousness, honesty, and empathy for others.
A virtue must be cultivated for it to become a habitual way of living in the world around us. When we violate our virtues, we violate ourselves. If we would use cultivated moral compasses we have instilled in their minds, we would encourage an ethical society that would be effectively cohesive.
John Stuart Mills believed that every person should make his own choice and only then will he feel responsible for his choice and therefore, his decision. If a moral person operates by righteous, self-imposed standards, he or she believes in needed positive change and is bound to contribute efforts to better society.
Simply put, people who care about doing the right thing raise the moral standards of their environment. They fight injustices -- whether these injustices are considered ethical or unethical -- and they raise the bar of conduct by literally changing destiny. Their compassion serves to squash injustice.
Every society is concerned about fostering moral character in children and forming responsible citizens. Yet, we can no longer rely on the assumption of a single universal religious identity as the foundation of moral formation. Traditionally, religious institutions were the place where we talk explicitly about moral concerns and ideas. Despite frequent hypocrisy, churches legitimate the idea that there is such a thing as moral community, and that it matters.
Now, a shift from home and church to schools has occurred when it comes to teaching morals. Polls indicate that about 70 percent of public school parents want schools to teach “strict standards of right and wrong,” and 85 percent want schools to teach values.
And research suggests that many overworked, frayed parents, doubting their capacities as moral mentors, are looking to schools to take on a larger role in their children’s moral growth.
(Richard Weissbourd. "Promoting Moral Development in Schools."
Harvard Education Letter. Volume 28. January/February 2012)
Weissbourd found adolescents feel patronized by lectures about values. He states:
"Many of these programs are devoted to inculcating values such as self-discipline, responsibility for others, and honesty. Some of these initiatives are carefully considered, rigorous, and tuned in both to children’s developmental experiences and to teachers’ needs and capacities. But most of these undertakings appear to have little or no impact on children’s moral lives...
"Many schools post values on walls and reiterate the importance of values in classrooms, during assemblies, and at other school events. But the challenge is not simply moral literacy... Some children become nimble at simply parroting back what adults want to hear."
(Richard Weissbourd. "Promoting Moral Development in Schools."
Harvard Education Letter. Volume 28. January/February 2012)
What exactly do children need to learn in order to be engaged citizens?
Three main categories or genres have emerged as approaches: traditionalist, rational, and integrationist.
* Traditional character education is focused on the development of specific kinds of virtuous traits and habits. The traditional genre is largely concerned with developing the intellectual tools for moral reasoning and judgment.
* Rational moral education focuses on moral judgment and reasoning regarding justice and fairness.
The rational genre focuses on the role of experiences and, in particular, the quality of relationships
* The integrative ethical education model (IEE) embraces both traditions. IEE defines moral education as the development of moral expertise, which requires both virtue, as intuitions and skills, and moral cognition, as reasoning, imagination, and understanding.
(Anthony Holter and Darcia Narvaez. "History of Moral Education.
Moral Education. April 18, 2011)
The development and internalization of morals at an early age has been shown to be predictive of future adaptive skills and future socialization skills. A study that tested children at 25, 38, and 52 months on internalization of their mothers and fathers rules, and the children's perception of their morals found that the children were more competent and better socialized if they were highly developed in the two areas tested.
The relation between the child's history of empathy toward the mother and future socialization was also significant. Children who are empathic at a young age also, will find it easier to maintain relationship, both romantically and with friends and co-workers. This skill is extremely important in communicating with people and being able to understand others perspective. Children who have high internalization of the mother and father's rules are also more likely to perceive themselves being more moral later in childhood.
Haim G. Ginott (1922–1973) was a school teacher, a child psychologist, a psychotherapist and a parent educator. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children that are still taught today. Ginott strongly believed in teaching children morals with humanity.
Dear Teacher:
I am a survivor of a concentration camp. My eyes saw what no man should
witness:
Gas chambers built by learned engineers.
Children poisoned by educated physicians.
Infants killed by trained nurses.
Women and babies shot and burned by high school and college graduates.
So, I am suspicious of education.
My request is: Help your students become human. Your efforts must never produce learned monsters, skilled psychopaths, educated Eichmanns.
Reading, writing, arithmetic are important only if they serve to make our children
more humane.
-Haim Ginott
“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
― Haim G. Ginott, Teacher and Child: A Book for Parents and Teachers
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