The Top Ten Advantages of Celebrating a Locked Down, No-Travel Easter

Well, it's almost Easter and this year is different. We are spending this important holiday under COVID-19 pandemic stay-at-home orders. Of course, this is a tremendous sacrifice for families across America who enjoy getting together for Easter, going to church services, sharing a big meal, and generally enjoying the close camaraderie.

But, take heart, these unprecedented restrictions may present some unexpected silver linings. Here is a list of the Top Ten Advantages of Celebrating a Locked Down, No-Travel Easter.  

1. You don't have to worry about falling asleep and snoring in church.
2. No one a couple of pews over will look at you and whisper to the person next to him: “That's the only time you'll see him here this year.”
3. You can save lots of money since you're not buying new clothes you're likely to wear only once. (Like that ugly green suit and pink-printed tie)
4. You don't have to invite that pesky, inconsiderate Cousin Eddie over to Easter dinner.
5. You don't have to sit through Grandpa's marathon Easter dinner prayer. Amen.
6. You don't have to eat Aunt Myrtle's nasty hot cross buns. Equally big Amen. 
7. After the Easter meal, you can sit in your recliner in your pajama pants, sweat pants, or no pants at all while burping and passing gas to your heart's delight.
8. You won't have to eat boiled eggs and egg salad leftover from the Easter egg hunt for the next three weeks.
9. You don't have to fret about finally discovering next July that one missing egg from the kids' egg hunt.
10. You can take a long nap without worrying that someone is going to write “The Real Cadbury Bunny” on your forehead with magic markers.