In a comprehensive attempt at defining the needs, wants, and general over-the-hill condition of our current aging population, I am writing this entry to clarify some of the essentials of being old and getting every closer to going over the rainbow. This little piece of writing is meant to bridge the ever-growing gap between younger generations and us baby boomers, who, as you know were the progeny of the Greatest Generation. In short, I know I will never match the toughness and the "do or die" contributions of my parents; however, I, as a senior, declare certain aspects of my old age as indefensible to change and not to be overtaken by the power and the glory of you upstart youngsters.
First of all, I am slow (and getting slower). My body and mind have aged to the point where old injuries, new medical conditions, and the total toll of "getting old" make me vulnerable to commit mistakes if I hastily move, drive, or even get up off the couch without thought. My new mantra is to think about any action I take three times before taking the leap of faith that my old brain once assured me was simple and carefree. I take longer to do everything because I must give deference to my inflexible body and old "stuck in the mud" mind. This means I need extra time to do most anything, and I also expect unmerited favor for my hoary condition -- this means I am, for the most part, no longer humorous, interesting, or meaningful. I accept the terms of surrender that limit any and all admirable personality traits.
For example, I may forget ... anything at any time. I may drop things and commit serious accidents of spillage for which my wife berates me. My mind is apt to run ahead of and far behind my old reflexes. I know how much slower I drive, walk, and react to most any situation: yes, I am now the old geezer costing you precious time be it on the road, on the sidewalk, or completing simple tasks. Sorry -- blow your horn, give me the proverbial finger, cuss me out, or just accept that old fucker is "messing everything up."
Now, I must share a couple of necessary concessions for my state of life.
(1) If I am traveling, and the trip will take a considerable amount of time, I need to know that I have already done the #2 -- taken my daily dump, you know -- shit. Why? Now, when the urge hits me, I must go ... and go now: no waiting, no "holding it." I remember days when trips meant just jumping behind the wheel and taking off. No more. My excrement plan must come to fruition before spending hours on a trip. Even urine plans (to a lesser degree) are essential to any itinerary.
(2) I make every attempt to drive the speed limit. If I take some time in the passing lane, get over it. I will ... with my poorer eyesight and reduced reaction time -- get out of your way as soon as possible. You say, "Keep right." I say, "I am not speeding 70 mph to pass the guy ahead of me." Calm down, I'll be out of your way soon, and I'll then I'll turn on my blinker and get back to the "slow lane" where you think I belong. (Please, sweet Jesus, remind me to turn off the signal.)
(3) I abhor being "talked around" in a crowd just because of my age or mental condition. My hearing is good, and so I can detect you believe I shouldn't enter the conversation or be a part of the subject, but my disabilities do not warrant your damned supposition. My thought processes are OK -- so, never assume I am going to make some dumb-ass or embarrassing comment during group conversation time. I may ... probably will ... disagree with some opinion being expressed, yet the group comes to no workable agreement on most things anyway. This attitude of "he's old and feeble-minded and out of date, so ignore him" cuts right through me. Every now and then some wisdom comes from a 73-year-old, out-of-the flow individual like me. A little recognition of thought would be very nice.
(4) I suspend a lot of judgment these days -- much, much more than I did when I was younger. I am open to change and yet will fight for things like manners, courtesies, and acceptance. I know we all make colossal mistakes while I believe changing and maintaining good habits develops learning. Whatever your vices, I know I have my own that are probably just as bad or worse than yours. I still abide by the Golden Rule, but I believe forgiveness is divine. I seek this divination in my existence on the planet. When I give second chances, I don't regret outcomes. I'll leave that for the Man upstairs. My pea-sized brain has heard and experienced enough narratives of woe over the years. I hope not to judge you for your misgivings, just accept you on your present treatment of me and my family. I make efforts now to listen more carefully -- it is a very difficult skill, especially when you seek logic and not emotional reactions. I do believe in "to each his own," but I hold sacred truths to be honest with myself.
(5) I do not doubt I am in an accelerated state of corrosion. Still, accepting my faults, I wish to share lessons I have learned -- many of which by trial-and-error- with others. I love young people on the verge of adulthood who seek understanding. I pray I still give decent advice not only to loved ones but also to anyone seeking help. I have always been devoted to trying to answer their questions. I want to help others with my own skills, knowledge, and experiences. I also seek no reward for any good advice. I just appreciate the change to share my similar content. The slow and difficult trip to maturation is something I know very intimately, and I realize each person matures at his/her own rate and with his/her own mixture of good and bad realities.My particular composition of stardust is unique, and I would never expect another human to attempt to use it for any kind of mold or model it in any way. I believe we are are unique, special creations meant to follow our own paths, no be beaten in submission by a single creed, denomination, or group.
(6) Lastly (thank God you say) I think love changes over the years, and it is up to each to accept, reject, or tolerate these changes. I am more interested in other's deep love of spirit and soul than in monetary or traditional trappings. Sex? What is that? Give me a good conversation and a simple human touch. (I also love hot showers.)
The new house, the luxurious car, and all the other expensive accessories associated with earthly success and advancement mean little to me. I see so much vanity today. Now, even "ordinary" people expect to have their costly "toys" as symbols of their work and of living their great lives. Sorry to say, in most cases, these rewards don't mean shit to me. I admire those who live their lives devoted to survival, industry, and ever-changing love.
What changes do a couple in love go through -- I could write that novel, but it is all too well known and trite. I honestly believe love fades ... perhaps never to return in old, romantic, and blazing intensity. I don't know what this means; however, I think the necessity of being indifferent in love becomes brighter as passions dim. "Fewer words, more toleration, and acceptance of simple yet more distance companionship" come to mind. Judge me as you will -- heartless? unsympathetic? decrepit? Maybe all fit. All I know is "things ain't what they used to be." Familiarity breeds loss of contact and communication. Hell, everyone is too busy texting, going to the doctors, and dealing with their own aches and pains to worry about much else. Did I mention the tremendous loss of energy that plagues taking "your Chevy to the levee?"
One last piece of advice from an old fucker who doesn't know shit from shinola.
Well, that's it. I probably pissed off every reader at this point. By the way, I'm good at that, and much of my aged, worthless voice spews out before I can swallow the swill. I want people to pay less attention to smartphones, texting, and making social media so damned important. Look at one another, and talk with the people you love. One photo posted over 50, please? Give a friend a call, not a text? Voice inflection and tone is huge in my book. Help the old and you just might find rewards not available in social media. I can't decipher much on Facebook without description. Old dogs like me have a hell of a time with those who care very little ... no matter your exulted social status or your million dollar mansion. A simple pat on the back (pet to that 'old dog') would be nice if you deem it appropriate. We senior citizens are working hard every day to simply stay out of your way. "Gas it! Put the pedal to the metal!
But ... Believe me. That push me aside does scare me. Been there, done that. (cliche) If I were only younger and knew what I know now. (another triteness) Who was it, Sinatra who sang "regrets, I've had a few"? Just listen ... take extra time to hear as you do it "My Way."
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