Look, Everybody. It's Raining Pills!

"Nearly 90 percent of the OxyContin ordered by physicians 

in the first half of 2010 came to Florida." 

(Brian Bandell, South Florida Business Journal, February 23 2011)

If you don't think the country is awash in oxys, consider the Sunshine State, sunny Florida.

According to his arrest warrant, Dr. Jeffrey Lipman at Midtown Pain Management in Miami-Dade prescribed hundreds of oxycodone pills without so much as an examination

In the first six months of 2010, he ordered up 288,560 oxy pills for his patients. But, there are more prolific oxy docs in the United States. 39 of them work out of South Florida pill mills. (Fred Grimm, "Pill-mill Arrests Hit Right Target: Doctors Cranking Out Oxycodone Prescriptions," The Miami Herald, February 23 2011)

How much money is being made? Consider this federal indictment. The indictment against Davie, Florida resident Vincent Colangelo, allegedly the primary owner and manager of seven pain clinics and a pharmacy that were illegally distributing narcotics without medical justification, seeks forfeiture of more than $22 million in cash and assets. Colangelo’s operation made a profit of $150,000 a day, said Mark Trouville, special agent in charge of the Drug Enforcement Administration’s Miami field office.

Officials seized more than 46 vehicles as part of the investigation. The Dodge Vipers, Lamborghinis, Bentley and Rolls-Royce lined up outside the DEA office in Weston made it look like an exotic car show. Agents also seized a trailer park in Okeechobee and a home in Davie’s Imagination Farms.

The U.S. attorney charged that Colangelo owned the following clinics that dispensed more than 660,000 dosage units of oxycodone, most of it without a legitimate medical purpose:

• Atlantic Medical Solutions, Pompano Beach
• Seaside Pain Management/Commercial Medical Group, Fort Lauderdale
• Broward Urgent Care, Fort Lauderdale
• All Pain Management, Dania Beach
• Friendly Urgent Care, Pembroke Park
• VIP Pain Center, Miami
• Urgent Care and Surgical Care Center of Fort Lauderdale/Integrated Medical Group
• Friendly Pharmacy, Fort Lauderdale

The clinics were held in nominee names, according to the indictment.

  
Tell It Like It Is

Salem-News.com reporter Marianne Skolek, an activist for victims of OxyContin throughout the United States and Canada, can tell you how mills operate and what happens when the heat comes down.

"In Florida, these pill mills have lines of people out on the sidewalk waiting to receive their OxyContin prescription. Medical histories and physical examinations are not part of these pill mill doctors standard of care. When word gets out on the street that a pill mill doctor is a 'supplier,' their practice becomes a popular meeting place.

"When addictions and deaths surface as a result of the lack of medical care by these 'alleged' physicians, the Drug Enforcement Agency steps in. That's when Purdue Pharma and their Pain Societies yell 'foul.' According to them, the DEA should not have a say in the medical treatment given by a licensed physician.

"But then, when the DEA steps in to investigate these pill mill doctors and closes down their drug operation, the State Medical Boards also step in and remove the pill mill doctor licenses to practice medicine. So there goes the theory from the Pain Societies and Purdue Pharma that the DEA should not be 'policing' the pill mill doctors who are licensed to practice medicine. Their medical license has been taken away. 

"Recently a newspaper story was published about a physician linked to patient deaths whose attorney has filed a defamation suit. Here's where the saying 'this stuff can't be made up' comes into play. A doctor whose prescriptions have been linked by federal officials to the deaths of at least eight people is suing the attorney representing the families of some of his deceased patients, claiming the victims' attorney defamed the doctor's name in published newspaper stories.

"This 'doctor' had his medical license revoked after an investigation by the DEA. The victims' attorney is not easily intimidated by this doctor, or the attorney filing the lawsuit. (The attorney is a relative of the 'defamed doctor'). The lunacy continues with the doctor's attorney saying his client's 'standing in the community has been damaged' because the victims' attorney gave an interview to a newspaper saying the doctor practiced outside normal or acceptable practices of medicine.

"The DEA also made strong statements about the doctor's practices when it closed down his medical office and subsequently his license to practice medicine was taken away. At the time, the DEA said that allowing the physician to prescribe controlled substances 'constitutes an imminent danger to public health and safety.'

"So where does this doctor, whose sterling standing in the community has been damaged, go from here? Does his attorney sue the DEA agents who closed down his practice? And why stop there... Why not sue the State Medical Board for revoking his license? After all, who wants their reputation ruined in the community? And why not sue the families of the victims -- after all, if they hadn't died, it wouldn't have resulted in a lawsuit against the pill mill doctor.

"If it's any consolation to this pillar of the community physician, I am quite sure that one of Purdue Pharma's 'pain societies' will step up to the plate to support the pill mill doctor by erecting a billboard on the highway saying the doctor did not kill anyone. They like billboards. They also like posting videos on the Internet. One was particularly offensive to me and I'm sure scores of families who have lost loved ones to OxyContin. They are quoted on camera as saying 'It is fun to kick the government around.'

"Here's my advice to pain societies to 'kick around.' The victims of OxyContin and their families don't like to be kicked around -- and my guess is the government agencies closing down and indicting the pill mills run by drug lords in 3-piece suits posing as doctors -- don't take to being 'kicked around' either. Maybe you need to have your fun somewhere else." (Marianne Skolek, "Defending Pill Mill Doctors -- Give Me a Break,"   Salem-News.com, January 9 2010)

Marianne's article: http://salem-news.com/articles/january092010/mill_docs_ms.php

Insanity

Too many gaps exist in the pill mill game. How hard can it be to see the tremendous numbers of pills that are dispensed and take tough action against all who engage in this criminal process? Timely response is necessary.

No, not necessary -- MANDATORY. It's time to punish the weasels who profit on death and addiction. It's time to let them know that "passing the buck" of blame won't work anymore.

The public must demand that state medical boards do a better job of policing doctors and their shady operations. New, tighter controls must be enacted. And, unethical doctors should never be given privileges of practice anywhere. No doctor should be allowed to float from state to state, from pill mill to pill mill, using his profession to poison America with tons of deadly prescriptions. Enough is enough! The crime here is murder in the first degree.

What could be worse than an MD sworn to protect the health of the public who decides to throw caution to the wind for money? Maybe, Big Pharma is worse. No, not worse, Big Pharma is the WORST. Isn't it about time to make them pay for the health epidemic that's sweeping the nation? It's time to cut the distribution that is so evident and so deadly. And, it's time to compensate all those victims who have been devastated by the black rain of lethal rx drugs. Without the collusion of drug manufacturers, pill mill operations could not exist.

Gathering Moss With the Stones

The Rolling Stones have always been "my band." My love for the band started during the first shots of the British Invasion. Beatlemania was sweeping the country when I was in junior high. And, of course, the Fab Four dominated the charts and hearts of America. John, Paul, Ringo, and George made girls swoon. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Beatles, too, but in the middle of all the wild female idolatry over the Fab Four, many of the guys seemed to gravitate to the rougher image of the Stones. After all, the Stones embraced a wilder, more provocative and rebellious style. 

"Don't keep on looking that some old way
If you try acting sad, you'll only make me glad
Better listen little girl
You go on walking down the street
I ain't got no love, I ain't the kind to meet
'Cause you'll never break, never break, never break, never break
This heart of stone"  -Jagger, Richards

The Rolling Stones were the bad boys of the British Invasion, the antithesis of the cute, mop-topped Beatles. Andrew Loog Oldham, their manager and producer, even promoted that darker image. With their unkempt look, they were scruffier than the Beatles -- the Stones quickly discarded their Beatle-like suits in favor of a rebellious look. They didn't smile on their album covers. And, the group, particularly Mick Jagger, was more sexually aggressive than the Beatles.

While the Beatles were singing odes to teenage love like "Love Me Do," the Stones were confessing their bad boy desires in covers like Muddy Waters's "I Just Wanna Make Love to You." This public image was summed up by one of the most provocative questions ever asked of parents, but targeted squarely at their over-excited adolescent offspring – "Would you let your daughter marry a Rolling Stone?" The Stones were "tuff" and they had attitude.

"She was common, flirty, she looked about thirty
I would have run away but I was on my own
She told me later she's a machine operator
She said she liked the way I held the microphone
And I said my, my, my like the spider to the fly
Jump right ahead in my web"  -Jagger, Richards 

In addition, the Stones more fully filled the craving for blues and R&B than any other band. In fact, I first heard many of the great blues and R&B classics in the form of Stones' covers. Early albums like England's Newest Hitmakers, 12x5, and The Rolling Stones Now featured songs like "I'm a King Bee," "Carol," "Confessin' the Blues," "Under the Boardwalk," "Pain In My Heart," and "Little Red Rooster." Years later, I found the hit versions of these songs by the original artists and grew to love them, but the Stones were responsible for whetting my appetite for blues and R&B.

"Like a lady in waiting to a virgin queen
Look at that stupid girl
She bitches 'bout things that she's never seen
Look at that stupid girl

"She purrs like a pussycat
Then she turns 'round and hisses back
She's the sickest thing in this world
Look at that stupid girl"  -Jagger, Richards

Along about 1965, the Rolling Stones began to write (Jagger and Richards) and record some of the best rock songs of all time. For decades, they rocked the masses, scoring hit after hit as they released songs like  "Satisfaction," "Get Off of My Cloud," "19th Nervous Breakdown," "Paint It Black," "Jumpin' Jack Flash," "Street Fighting Man," "Honky Tonk Women," and "Brown Sugar."

"I bet your mama was a tent show queen
And all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen
I'm no schoolboy but I know what I like
You shoulda heard me just around midnight

"Brown sugar how come you taste so good, baby?
Ah, brown sugar just like a young girl should, yeah"  -Jagger, Richards 

The Stones made many great albums such as Out of Our Heads, December's Children (And Everybody's), Aftermath, Between the Buttons, Beggars Banquet, Let It Bleed, Exile on Main Street, and Sticky Fingers. Whether Brian Jones, Mick Taylor, or Ron Wood was a member of the band, the album cuts sizzled -- "Under My Thumb," "Sympathy For the Devil," "Gimme Shelter," "Live With Me," "You Can't Always Get What You Want," "Rip This Joint," "Tumbling Dice," "Shine a Light," "Dead Flowers."

"Well, when you're sitting there
In your silk upholstered chair
Talking to some rich folks that you know
Well I hope you won't see me
In my ragged company
You know I could never be alone

"Take me down little Susie, take me down
I know you think you're the Queen of the Underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flower by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I won't forget to put roses on your grave"  -Jagger, Richards 

The Rolling Stones seem ageless, still recording and touring, but the magic of the early days has dwindled. Time has taken its toll, not so much on the talents of the band, but on the mystique and delivery of the music itself. Touted by their own '60s stage manager as "the greatest rock & roll band in the world," the Stones might well have earned that title, even surpassing the Beatles (if longevity and performance are considered).

"Everywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
Cause summers here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
Cause in sleepy London town
There's just no place for a street fighting man
No"  -Jagger, Richards

I still love the Rolling Stones and still listen to their superb recordings. The songs never cease to conjure images and emotions deep rooted in my memory. Riots with "Street Fighting Man," Vietnam with "Gimme Shelter," coming of age with "Satisfaction," relationships with "Let's Spend the Night Together" -- the Stones have given me a pretty respectable soundtrack. I believe no one should judge this band on their greatest hits packages or on their later body of work.

Oxy = Gateway To Heroin

 "When Gil Kerlikowske, President Barack Obama's national drug policy director, 

recently described today's prescription drug abuse in the U.S. as worse 

than the crack epidemic of the 1980s, he was simply echoing what 

these drug dealers have long known."

(Mariana van Zeller, "Painkillers Are a Gateway to Heroin," 

CNN, articles.cnn.com, June 23 2011)

In the U.S., more people are abusing prescription drugs than cocaine, heroin and Ecstasy combined, but the most destructive have been prescription pain drugs such as oxycodone, best known by the brand name OxyContin.

The Centers for Disease Control data show overdose deaths from prescription painkillers more than doubled from 2000 to 2007, and in 17 states, painkiller overdoses are now the number one cause of accidental death.

Gateway To Heroin

In 2009, Current TV correspondent Mariana von Zeller traveled to South Florida to report on the prescription drug pipeline that stretches from the beaches of Miami to the hills of Appalachia.  Her documentary, The OxyContin Express, won a Peabody Award for its depiction of the impact of Florida’s prescription drug epidemic on addicts, law enforcement officials and prisoners. 

Now von Zeller has produced a new documentary called Gateway to Heroin that exposes how prescription opiate addicts are turning to heroin for a cheaper high. http://www.stopoxy.com/

For Gateway to Heroin, von Zeller focused on the situation in Massachusetts, where prescription pills have become the most popular street drugs.  Many drug dealers travel to Florida (referred to by von Zeller as the “Colombia of prescription drugs”) to obtain prescription drugs illegally, bringing them back to Massachusetts to sell on the street.  In an article on the CNN website, von Zeller states that more people are abusing prescription drugs than heroin, cocaine and Ecstasy combined.

In Massachusetts, von Zeller discovered that oxycodone is for many addicts a gateway drug that leads to heroin. She says, "The truth is heroin is little more than a natural form of oxycodone. Both heroin and oxycodone affect the brain in similar ways and satisfy the same cravings in addicts.  The main difference between these two drugs on the street is that heroin is cheaper, easier to obtain and more potent."

Lt. Tom Coffey of the Massachusetts State Police told von Zeller, "I don't think I have met anybody under the age of 30 that's a heroin addict that did not start out using oxycodone or OxyContin."

Von Zeller soon found out the truth herself. In the course of researching Gateway to Heroin, she discovered that every heroin addict she spoke to started out by abusing OxyContin.

According to von Zeller, "They began abusing Oxy and became addicted, and then the pills either became too expensive or unavailable. Instead of suffering through the pain of withdrawal, they turned to heroin as a substitute and never looked back."

For those who have suffered and lost because of prescription drug addiction, the importance of state and federal authorities taking the issue seriously cannot be understated. But it's also important for people to acknowledge that painkillers have now introduced a whole new generation of addicts to heroin, an addictive, dangerous drug and one of the most difficult to quit. Every action, no matter how well-intentioned, brings a reaction.

Mariana von Zeller offers this advice: "While Florida's new law (Florida Gov. Rick Scott recently signed legislation that aims to monitor the state's pain clinics and put an end to the illicit trade.) is unquestionably needed, it also begs us to start thinking about what happens when Oxy addicts up and down the Eastern Seaboard have their supply cut off. If treatment isn't there for them, dealers, like the ones I met, will be."

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-06-23/opinion/zeller.oxycodone.heroin_1_prescription-drugs-painkiller-overdoses-oxycodone?_s=PM:OPINION

Gateway To Heroin Vanguard Trailor

Studies

In a new study, Thomas McLellan and his colleagues at the Center for Substance Abuse Solutions at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine found 11.7 percent of the 202 million opioid prescriptions  issued in the United States in 2009 went to children and young adults.

Additional research is needed to determine whether this relatively high rate of prescriptions is warranted, the researchers say. Medical professionals may need to consider alternative medications for young people in some situations, McLellan said. (Rachael Rettner, "Abuse of Prescription Opioid Pain Medication A 'Vast Problem,'" MyHealthNewsDaily, April 5 2011)

A 2009 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention interviewed 50 injection drug users ages 16 to 25 living in New York City or Los Angeles, who had also abused perception drugs in the last three months. They asked the teens open-ended questions, such as "Why did you use it that first time?" and "Where did you get it?"

Forty-three of the participants said they had misused prescription opioids before using heroin. Adolescents most commonly obtained opioids from friends, family or their own medical prescriptions, which they later abused.

Sgt. Troy Burnett, of the Weber Morgan Narcotics Strike Force of Utah makes the following observations:

"There's no doubt that prescription drug painkillers are a gateway to heroin. It's a big concern that police are detaining more abusers between the ages of 18 and 25. While there are ill or hurt people who need painkillers, we urge patients and doctors to use extreme caution in taking these drugs. They are extremely addictive and can lead the user from a short period of relief to years of misery due to the abuse.

"Also, parents and other role models, such as teachers and sports coaches, must do everything they can to encourage young people to stay way from "popping pills," which is a temptation for many teenagers. Again, the highly addictive qualities of prescription drugs make them a deadly game to play.

"Prescription drugs come with a false mindset, because it comes from a doctor or a pharmacy, that it's OK, it's kind of a 'good' drug," explains Burnett.

("A Gateway To Heroin," Ogden Standard-Examiner, June 16 2010)

Quotes To Remember

“It's like the purest form of heroin I've ever done,” a former heroin and OxyContin addict told the Cincinnati Inquirer. He said his OxyContin addiction led to a “spree of drugstore robberies last year — and to prison. Absolutely it was just as addictive [as heroin].”

“They'll kick a bag of cocaine out of the way to get to Oxy,” said Detective Roger Hall of the Harlan County Sheriff's Department in Kentucky.

(Rod MacTaggart, "Heroin: The New 'Gateway Drug' To OxyContin Addiction," www.novusdetox.com, March 11 2009) 

Medical Ghostwriting -- How Scary Is It?

 

"One published survey identified 182 medical education
and communication companies (MECCs) 

operating in the United States in 2001."

(G.A. Golden et al., "Medical Education and Communication Companies: 

An Updated In-depth Profile, 

The Journal of Continuing Education in the Health Professions, Winter 2002). 

Leemon McHenry, reports that organizations of medical writers in the United States and Europe conduct seminars and conferences, and publish their own professional journals. In addition to the preparation of manuscripts, posters and slides, the MECCs are engaged in promotional activities such as the organization of advisory board meetings with academics to prepare the ‘launch’ of a new drug or a new indication for a drug (e.g., adolescent depression, high cholesterol or social anxiety disorder).

MECCs also prepare regulatory submissions, organize continuing medical education (CME) for physicians, dinner meetings, satellite symposia and develop promotional media (CDs, DVDs and websites). Some companies specialize, while others perform multiple functions.

The MECCs or public relations firms charge $18,000 to $40,000 per manuscript. (Leemon McHenry, "Of Sophists and Spin-Doctors: Industry-Sponsored Ghostwriting and the Crisis of Academic Medicine, Mens Sana Monographs, December 22 2009)

What Is "Ghostwriting"?
 
Medical ghostwriting refers to the practice in which professional writers and other parties are paid — commonly (but by no means always) by pharmaceuticals and medical devices manufacturers — to produce manuscripts for conference presentations, scientific publications, explicitly promotional distributions, patient education materials, continuing professional education activities' contents, and other communications.

Ghostwriting may involve the act of a drug company producing a journal article aimed at either counteracting criticism of a drug or embellishing its benefits. Usually, the drug maker hires a professional writing company to draft the article, and recruits a physician to sign off as the author. Once the article has been published, drug sales reps often present copies of the piece to physicians as evidence that the drug covered in the article is safe and effective. ("Ghostwriting Prevalent In Medical Journals, Study Says," www.newsinferno.com, September 21 2009)

According to Sergio Sismondo, "It has been repeatedly and firmly established that pharmaceutical company funding strongly biases published results in favor of the company's products. Ghost management amplifies that bias, because when one set of commercial interests exerts influence at multiple stages of research, writing, and publication, it will shape the resulting article. In turn, bias affects medical opinion and practice, and ultimately, patients." (S. Sismondo, "Ghost Management: How Much of the Medical Literature Is Shaped Behind the Scenes by the Pharmaceutical Industry? PLoS Med. 4, September 2007).

A Closer Look at Ghostwriting

Just because a manuscript is funded by pharmaceuticals and medical devices manufacturers doesn't make it corrupt or deceptive. One difference between a good manuscript and a misleading one can be noted: If the academic “author” has been marginalized in the process, sought only for the authority of his name and no longer for his knowledge or expertise, it is evident that something is wrong. When operated in this way, medical science is reduced to a form of marketing, which draws its authority from traditional academic science. (Phil Davis, "Ghosts in the Machine -- The Industry of Medical Authorship," The Scholarly Kitchen, November 4 2010)

The Association of American Medical Colleges has defined ghostwriting “as the provision of written material that is officially credited to someone other than the writer(s) of the material. Transparent writing collaboration with attribution between academic and industry investigators, medical writers, and/or technical experts is not ghostwriting. The unacknowledged, undisclosed provision of content should not be permitted under any circumstances." ("SMPP Applauds AAMC Clarification on Ghostwriting Versus Transparent Writing Collaboration in Scientific Publications," www.thepublicationplan.com, July 7 2008)

AAMC further provides the following recommendation: “Academic medical centers should prohibit physicians, trainees, and students from allowing their professional presentations of any kind, oral or written, to be ghostwritten by any party, industry or otherwise."

Al Weigel, Chairman of ISMPP’s Ethics Committee says, “AAMC’s guidelines provide a clear distinction between medical writing and ghostwriting/ghost authoring that is in line with the International Society for Medical Publication Professionals Code of Ethics, which is intended to promote quality clinical publication practices.”

Ghostwriting And Continued Research

Here are some conclusions based on recent study. (Peter C. Gøtzsche, Jerome P. Kassirer, Karen L. Woolley, Elizabeth Wager, Adam Jacobs, Art Gertel, Cindy Hamilton; "What Should Be Done To Tackle Ghostwriting in the Medical Literature?" PLoS Med 6; February 3 2009)

The authors encourage the mandatory use of a checklist that could help editors detect ghostwriting and help authors avoid ghostwriters. The site: http://www.plosmedicine.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000023

"This checklist prompts authors to acknowledge professional medical writers and their funding source, to confirm that the authors controlled the main points, outcomes, and data reported in the manuscript, and to verify that medical writers could provide evidence that guidelines on ethical writing practices were followed....

"In conclusion, we believe the debate about ghostwriting needs to shift from whether authors used writers to whether writing assistance was appropriate and adequately disclosed. Professional medical writers are trained to provide appropriate assistance and to insist on disclosure. Since professional medical writers work with experienced and inexperienced authors from around the world on a daily basis, they could be valuable allies in the efforts to tackle ghostwriting."

Quite a Roll -- The New Musical Express

The New Musical Express (better known as the NME) is a popular music publication in the United Kingdom, published weekly since March 1952. It began as a newspaper and gradually moved toward a magazine format during the 80s, changing from newsprint in 1998. It was the first British paper to include a singles chart, in the November 14 1952 edition. In the 1970s it became the best-selling British music newspaper.

The NME Awards is an annual music awards show in the United Kingdom, founded by the music magazine. It features artists voted as most popular by the paper's readers. The awards began as the NME Poll Winners Concert and awards ceremonies in 1952/1953.

During the 1960s the paper championed the new British groups emerging at the time. The Beatles and the Rolling Stones were frequently featured on the front cover. These and other artists also appeared at the NME Poll Winners Concert.

The concert also featured the awards ceremony where the poll winners would collect their awards. Venues included the Royal Albert Hall, Olympia and the Empire Pool Wembley. From 1964 onwards they were filmed, edited and then transmitted on British television a few weeks after they had taken place.

A look at these historic concert recordings from 1964-1966 is a wonderful, first-hand rock music experience. To view these legendary performers in their early early years is to breathe the essence of the bands that launched the British Invasion. Great vitality and drive punctuate each live musical execution. These NME Poll Winners Concerts capture the spirit of the rise of the rock band. They offer a rare, raw look of many legendary Rock and Roll Hall of Fame artists.

One of the observations I made while watching the NME concerts was the power of simple, straightforward rock songs. Many songs were covers of American rock hits, R&B recordings, and blues songs -- "Not Fade Away," "Twist and Shout," "Boom, Boom, Boom," "Hey, Bo Diddley"-- performed with genuine joy.

The music, unclouded by production and seething with rhythm, was upfront and hot. The bands put their personal "group" stamp on each tune, whether it was a cover or an original. The result was infectious. The  "fever" spread to the audience, and they loved it. 

If this is your first view of British '60s rock in action, you will find the NME concerts are great places for discovery. And, if you want to relive memories of the Invasion, the NME concerts will surely accommodate your wishes. What a time! What music! What simple revelry!

Here are some NME bands (1964-1966). Enjoy the post.

The Beatles



The Rolling Stones



The Kinks



The Yardbirds



The Animals



Manfred Mann



The Moody Blues

S-U-C-C-E-S-S Spells...

Some people are born to be successful aren't they? At least that's the way it seems. Yes, successful people might be intelligent. Or, they might have socially well connected upbringings. Or they might be naturally energetic and open and positive. But, the truth is most successful people use a course of action that involves self-actualization to employ things that lead to their success.

What Do Successful People Do?

1. Successful people know what they want
2. Successful people don’t just think, they act
3. Successful people have insatiable hunger for knowledge 
4. Successful people are curious and are not afraid to experiment
5. Successful people build their networks
6. Successful people are passionate about what they do  
7. Successful people are persistent and patient

 J.D. Roth (guest post from Pinyo),"Seven Traits of Successful People," April 6 2008) 

How can true achievement be directed without goals? Successful people dare to dream. They have a clear vision in their mind of what they want to do, so, as far as they're concerned, they believe they have taken the first steps of ownership as they set their goals.

Goals that become successes must be challenging, not too easily achieved. But, at the same time, goals must not be so unrealistic or so illogical that they could never be attained. Instead, they should be specific, measurable, and time-specific. Those who experience success monitor their steady progress toward achievable goals.

Successful people recognize an opportunity and seize the moment. They possess the courage to act. With their "can-do" attitude, they work hard and give an extra effort, and they do not consider these things to be obligations; instead, they see their actions as opportunities.

People who know success understand upfront that it will not come easily. Studies show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.(Heidi Grant Halvorson, "9 Things Successful People Do," Harvard Business Review, February 28 2011)

Successful people are passionate about what they do, and have a lot of fun doing it. Their excitement and passion is contagious, so others want to work with them. They possess the will to practice their skills over an extended period of time until they become highly skilled practitioners. 

Importantly, successful people know they cannot succeed without trying and testing. They redefine failure -- they keep their drive because they understand they can start over again and succeed. They are able to withstand struggles and hardships.

Research suggests that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination. (Heidi Grant Halvorson, "9 Things Successful People Do," Harvard Business Review, February 28 2011)

Many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist temptation, and, as a result, they put themselves in situations where temptations abound, but successful people tend to have great willpower. They know how to avoid temptation that threatens their success. They also know when they give their willpower regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to help them successfully reach their goals.

Successful people embrace life-long learning. When people cease to learn, they cease to grow. Learning helps people make decisions that ensure success. Successful people are inquisitive, always searching for answers to questions that concern them.

Networks help people achieve success. True networking is about building relationships at all levels inside and outside of the work environment — e.g., friends, classmates, teachers, colleagues, subordinates, superiors, vendors, customers, teammates, virtual friends, and clubs. More than ever, successful people build extensive networks.

Others can learn the mindset, actions, and habits of successful people and replicate these things to achieve success themselves.But, unless they are willing to work hard and establish some discipline in their lives, their dreams will remain pipe dreams, little mental fantasy trips that will never materialize. When the keys to success are not a birthright, people must push to achieve significant prosperity. Those who best cultivate their dreams will find these goals will yield successful realities.

Hot Dog!

Don't you love simple, hassle-free food? What could be easier to fix and more delicious than a scrumptious hot dog? Easy to make, inexpensive, and fun to eat -- praise the almighty dog in its many variations!

Give me hot dogs anytime, but one time of the year seems most appropriate for preparing them. They are the perfect "celebrate summer" meal. Did you know that July is observed as National Hot Dog Month? On Independence Day alone, Americans enjoy 150 million hot dogs, enough to stretch from D.C. to L.A. over five times. And, during Hot Dog Season, Memorial Day to Labor Day, Americans typically consume 7 billion hot dogs or 818 hot dogs consumed every second during that period.

Let's have a hot dog today and fix it our way. First, here is a very small dog history lesson to get you in the mood.

Who Invented the Fabulous Dog?

Many lay claim to the origins and no one can say for sure although some early doggy history can be traced.

The name frankfurter comes from the name Frankfurt, Germany, where sausages served in a bun originated.  Frankfurter Würstchen, were known since the 13th century and given to the people on the event of imperial coronations, starting with the coronation of Maximilian II, Holy Roman Emperor as King.  

Weiner refers to Vienna, Austria, whose German name is Wien, home to a sausage made of a mixture of pork and beef, whose name also derives from a German-speaking city.

German speaking countries often call hot dogs "Wiener Wurstchen," which literally translates to "little sausage."

Frankfurter, wiener, or "tube steak" -- call it what you may, but a hot dog by any name is a heavenly creation. A great dog begins with the right sausage -- pork, beef, veal, (personally I can do without a chicken or turkey creation). It can be skinless or in a natural casing. The cooking can be accomplished with broiling, grilling, steaming, or frying.

Finding a Great Wiener

A great hot dog begins with the right hot dog sausage. What should you buy? Here are some findings to help you shop right. Heck, why not try them all? I'm sure no package will go to waste. You might even want to conduct your own comparison taste test.

This is a report from Dan Kadison of the New York Post.

Kadison says, "Frankly speaking, Hebrew National hot dogs are the best of the wurst. Consumer Reports magazine fed its testers 620 hot dogs representing 23 brands, and when they finished stuffing themselves, Hebrew National's kosher beef franks turned out to be the chosen ones."

He continues, "Not that other wieners didn't come close to cutting the mustard. Nathan's Famous Skinless Beef Franks took second place, while Boar's Head Skinless Beef Franks came in third." (Dan Kadison, "And the Wiener Is...Hebrew National Judged Top Dog," New York Post, June 13 2007)

But, Rachel Ray's site says the best overall choice is Bar-S Beef Franks. It reports, "Tasters flipped for this all-beef hot dog. They raved about its "incredible juiciness" and "nice snap." The judges were also grabbed by its "perfect smoky-and-sweet combination," along with a "great saltiness." Bar-S was the best-selling bargain brand in America last year. One taster said, "It's everything a hot dog should be." (Dorothy Krasowska, "Taste Test: The Best Hot Dogs," Every Day With Rachel Ray, www.rachaelraymag.com, July 22 2011.)

A close second choice for Ray was Kunzler Beef Franks. Here is the scoop: "Based in Pennsylvania's Amish Country, Kunzler still uses its German founder’s recipe from 1901. Our judges loved the 'pure beef flavor' and the way the dogs 'glistened with juices.'"

In yet another review by Epicurious, people had some different choices. A blind taste test of 13 nationwide hot dog brands was conducted with seven judges as the testers. All of the hot dogs were grilled at the same temperature. The hot dogs were individually judged on the flavor, appearance, and consistency. ("Taste Test: All-Beef Hot Dogs," Epicurious.com, June 25 2009)

According to Epicurious, the best overall hot dog is Nathan's Beef Franks. The judges commented on its juiciness, sweet and smoky flavor, and firmness. One judge even said that the hot dog even tasted good cold. The only drawback to the frank was it was a little greasy.

Thumann's Beef Frankfurters came in as first runner-up. One of the testers praised the sweet pickled scent that could be tasted with every single bite. Another judge liked the neutral color and the skin and compared it to a classic frank from New York City. The only complaint was the hot dog was a little skinny.

The second runner-up was Oscar Meyer Premium Beef Franks. The testers liked the brand's distinct taste. One judge commented that it was perfectly seasoned with intense smokiness and garlic that resembled beef jerky. Some of the other testers liked that it was not too greasy and had the right firmness. The drawback of these hot dogs was the spongy texture and weird red coloring.

Loving Your Buns

A bad bun can ruin a good hot dog. Top loader? Side loader? You can find special bakery buns or shop the big commercial brands -- it's your hot dog and you must ultimately decide, but here is a little help.

Chef's Best site (www.chefsbest.org) says a quality hot dog bun has a golden brown outer crust color that looks freshly baked. The bun should not appear undercooked in any way, and the color should not be pale or anemic.

The bun’s aroma character should be simple with wheat notes and a hint of yeasty fermentation that is not over-fermented or sour.

Taste?  A bun should be sweet -- mainly because the bun should balance out the saltiness of the hot dog. Salt levels in buns should be at a much lower level.

The bun should have a high resiliency level, meaning that it should go back to its original shape after being bitten or grasped, and buns should have enough structural integrity that hot dogs nestle inside without the bun breaking apart at the seam.

Chef's Best chose Sara Lee Gourmet Hot Dog Buns as the best. Other leading brands included Sara Lee Whole Grain, Pepperidge Farm, Wonder, Arnold, and Ballpark.

Cooking the Meat

Who knows the best method? Hot dogs can be baked, boiled, broiled, grilled, steamed, deep-fried or brought up to temperature in a microwave or a crock-pot slow cooker. Each cooking technique requires different lengths of time to bring hot dogs up to the proper temperature. Most sites on preparation say do not puncture hot dogs when cooking. The juices will run out, resulting in a tough, dry, unappetizing wiener. 

Want a simple cooking method? One site, The Paupered Chef, instructs, "First, add a little water to a skillet, just enough to barely cover half the pan.  Heat it up until it begins to steam off, then add the hot dogs.  Allow them to steam as the water boils off completely (This pulls some of the salt out). You may need to tilt the skillet and drain off the last tablespoon or so.

Next, add a tablespoon of butter for each dog.  Because, why not.  The hot dog will begin to blister and turn all sorts of savory colors.  In the meantime, toast your buns." (Blake Royer, "The Proper Way to Cook a Hot Dog," thepauperedchef.com, October 26 2007) 

Dressing Your Dog

Dress up your dog and never fear your new creations. Try the coney, the slaw dog, or any delicious recipe. Your many choices of dog dressings include mustard of many varieties -- yellow, spicy brown, whole grain, Dijon, horseradish, chipotle pepper, habanero, jalapeno; ketchup; mayonnaise; hot sauce; onions of all kinds; relish; piccalilli; peppers; pinto beans; chili; sauerkraut; lettuce; chopped tomatoes; bacon; coleslaw; pickles; fried potatoes; cheese; and celery salt.

Now, Eat and Enjoy

Biting The Dog

The hot dog - nothing's quite so grand.

Fills the hungry spot and the human hand.

I've yet to meet a dog I didn't like

Sausage and bun make a pure delight.

Visit the Hot Dog City site, sponsored by the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council. It's full of facts, trivia, recipes, everything related to the hot dog. Here is the link to the great site: http://www.hot-dog.org/.
    

Politicians Are Dealing

 "The White House encourages congressional leaders to reach a major deficit-reduction deal by offering them a little more time, as President Obama says he's open to a short-term deal if Congress can reach a 'significant' debt plan before deadline."

(Headline:"Obama Open To Short-Term Debt Deal," Fox News, July 21 2011)

As Treasury Department officials say that Congress must boost the $14.29 trillion debt ceiling before August 2, or the government will run out of cash to pay its bills, politicians are "making deals." And, many lawmakers say they will not vote to increase the debt cap without a significant deficit-reduction plan.

Does anyone else abhor the idea of "dealing" toward solutions? I know "a deal" in political terms can mean a workable compromise, but shouldn't matters of national importance demand upfront bipartisan teamwork, not horse trading tactics, to accomplish ends that benefit constituents, Democrat and Republican alike?

The selfish wranglings of politicians often defy reason. When citizens want answers to their problems in a timely fashion, politicians often ignore requests for concord and resort to throwing hissy fits to secure party interests. Why? That answer is simple: They exist to be re-elected.

I understand what Dick Burckhart is saying. (Letter to the Editor, www.cantonrep.com, October 5 2010). He writes, "I believe we should all be ashamed to admit we are registered to either political party. It’s no longer the United States of America; now it’s the Divided States of the Politicians."

Politicians always claim that they care more about their principles than getting re-elected. If they didn't air this view, the public would despise them, but that same public knows the score. Washington is an "us vs them" game. 

Lawmakers see themselves as footsoldiers in the battle for majority control. In this contest, there’s very little incentive for anyone to compromise, so little compromise happens. Instead, the politicians  leverage time sensitive situations to exploit the opposing party's flaws with the media. 

Dan O'Brien says, "It’s incredibly tiresome and unnerving to witness every important political decision turn into a promotional or smear campaign fueling the next election.  Both political parties continue to try to force the other’s hand by whining to the public about how the other side is the cause of the problem.  Why can’t politicians just do their damn job?" (Dan O'Brien, "US Debt Negotiations Reveal True Politician's Colors," The American Hegemon, July 18 2011)

O'Brien cites some embarrassing examples of politicians' "inexcusable behaviors" during the current U.S. debt fiasco:

- Eric Cantor (Republican Congressman from Virginia) notes Obama “angrily” stormed out of one discussion. 

- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid calls Cantor’s behavior “childish” and says that Cantor should not have a part in any deficit reduction conversations. 

- Obama storms out of a meeting saying, “Eric, don’t call my bluff. I’m going to take this to the American People!”

Here is the O'Brien article: http://theamericanhegemon.com/2011/07/us-debt-negotiations-reveal-true-politicians-colors/.

Let's Make "a Deal"? 

To me, "deals" smack of underhanded, negative compromise. I believe politicians should be openly working together, fine-tuning details, and crafting important work for the American people. But, then again, what do I know about people and what they want from politicians? Consider the following findings:

"Nearly half of America -- including nearly two-thirds of Republicans and 53 percent of independents -- admires political leaders who refuse to compromise," said the Society for Human Resource Management/National Journal Congressional Connection Poll, conducted with the Pew Research Center.

According to the poll, 49 percent of all respondents said they admire political leaders who rarely compromise. The poll found that 42 percent took the opposite view, admiring politicians who are willing to compromise with people who hold different views and philosophies.

"This is further evidence that the current political atmosphere is not merely contentious, but hostile to any hope of negotiated settlements to the many political and policy differences that define the current landscape,'' the poll concluded. (Charles Pope, "Poll Says Voters Aren't Fond of Politicians Who Make Deals and Compromise," The Oregonian, September 21 2010)

Oh, my head hurts. Not wonder I consider myself politically disadvantaged.

You Can't Always Know What You Want

Are you happy? Before you answer this, consider how long you have, or have not, experienced what you consider to be happiness. Is happiness something you possess all the time because you know how to consistently seek things that make you happy? Or, does the majority of your happiness depend on brief and fleeting experiences that seem to occur at random?

And, what makes you happy, anyway? You don't really know? Now, how in the hell can you possibly expect to find happiness if you don't know what to look for?  And, if you can identify what makes you happy, how can you make sure that happiness is part of your future?

Happiness is something you desire, but something you seldom consider in terms of rigid understandings. You might be surprised to learn about some recent research concerning happiness.

Daniel Gilbert, researcher and professor of psychology at Harvard University, compares trying to define happiness to defining a thing like insanity. "It's hard to say what it is, but I know it when I see it," he says."It simply means feeling good."

According to Gilbert, happiness is what tickles the sweet spot in the deep part of your brain. In other words, every happy person experiences the same feeling, but different things bring on that feeling.  

Through his research, Gilbert concludes that happiness is never as good as you imagine it will be, and it never lasts as long as you think it will. But the same also holds true for unhappiness.

 Daniel Gilbert

What Does Gilbert Say About Happiness?

Daniel Gilbert -- along with the psychologist Tim Wilson of the University of Virginia, the economist George Loewenstein of Carnegie-Mellon and the psychologist (and Nobel laureate in economics) Daniel Kahneman of Princeton -- has taken the lead in studying a specific type of emotional and behavioral prediction. In the past few years, these four men have begun to question the decision-making process that shapes our sense of well-being: how do we predict what will make us happy or unhappy -- and then how do we feel after the actual experience? (Jon Gertner, "The Futile Pursuit of Happiness," The New York Times, September 7 2003)

Daniel Gilbert reveals the following findings about happiness:

1. When you try to simulate future events that will make you happy — and to simulate your emotional reactions to those events — you make systematic errors.

2. The main error is that you vastly overestimate the hedonic consequences of any event. Neither positive nor negative events hit you as hard or for as long as you anticipate.Gilbert calls the gap between what you predict and what you ultimately experience the ''impact bias'' -- ''impact'' meaning the errors you make in estimating both the intensity and duration of your emotions and ''bias'' your tendency to err. 

3. Mistakes of expectation can, and do, lead directly to mistakes in choosing what you think will give you pleasure. Gilbert calls this ''miswanting.''

4. Even when you find things that bring happiness, you do adapt to them, but you seem unable to predict how you will adapt. Thus, when you find the pleasure derived from a thing diminishing, you move on to the next thing or event and almost certainly make another error of prediction, and then another, ad infinitum.

Holy Smokes, How Are You Supposed To Choose Something To Make You Happy?

It turns out that you should ask someone who already has experienced your dream of happiness. You should not hesitate to ask a complete stranger about their actual feelings. According to Dan Gilbert, the experience of that person is likely to help you make up your mind and predict your future reactions. 

"If you want to know how much you will enjoy an experience, you are better off knowing how much someone else enjoyed it than knowing anything about the experience itself," says Gilbert. (Daniel T. Gilbert, Matthew A. Killingsworth, Rebecca N. Eyre, and Timothy N. Wilson. "The Surprising Power of Neighborly Advice." Science (20) March 2009)

Gilbert finds that people do not understand how useful another person's opinion can be because they wrongly believe that every human being is different from everyone else. However, in reality "an alien who knew all the likes and dislikes of a single human being would know a great deal about the species."

This process is known as surrogation, and it is nothing new. The 17th century writer François de La Rochefoucauld suggested that rather than mentally simulating a future event, people should consult those who have experienced it. "Before we set our hearts too much upon anything," he wrote, "let us first examine how happy those are who already possess it." La Rochefoucauld was essentially suggesting that forecasters should use other people as surrogates for themselves, and the advantages of his "surrogation strategy" are clear: Because surrogation does not rely on mental simulation, it is immune to the many errors that inaccurate simulations produce.

The Secrets To Your Happy Life?

Take heart. You may just find happiness. Gilbert recommends starting with the fact that happiness is not a permanent possession. Your happiness is a state that you move in and out of. "The fact that you're not always happy is not a problem," he says. "So don't look for a solution when there is no problem."  (William J. Cromie, "Scientists Pursue Happiness," Harvard University Gazette, Harvard News Office, 2007)

Next, you should develop your own philosophy of happiness. You shouldn't accept the consumerism philosophy delivered in ads that push new cars, more fashionable clothes, or better restaurants. "Look at your own life, and ask what has brought you the most joy," Gilbert notes. "Most times the answer lies in people, in friends and family. It comes mainly from relationships, not from stuff."

Gilbert concludes, "Finally, in trying to determine what will make you happiest, look to others who have already made the decisions you face. Try to honestly figure out how happy they are."

Your Deepest Fear -- You Are Powerful Beyond Measure

Marianne Williamson

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

"It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

"Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

"Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

"And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles," 1990

Do you let your deepest fears of "shining your light" debilitate you?

In psychological terms, fear may be defined as “an intense emotional state caused by specific external stimuli and associated with avoidance, self-defense and escape.” Fear is one of the primary human emotions. Fear generally refers to feelings created by tangible and realistic dangers which arise out of proportion to the actual threat, meaning that fear is quite often an unfounded emotional response with no basis in reality.

In a biological sense, fear is related to death. A fearful response is an indication that the perceiver believes that his well-being is in danger, and that he is threatened by death or injury, which can lead to death indirectly.

There are two basic kinds of fear stimuli. The first is environmental and poses a direct physical threat to the person who perceives it. The second is strictly psychological and poses no direct physical threat. For obvious reasons the first is a rational fear and the second is an irrational fear. (David R. Saliba,  A Psychology of Fear: The Nightmare Formula of Edgar Allan Poe, 1980, pp. 39-42) 

When victims of fear lose the ability to keep the unconscious mind under control, their response will always be one of self-preservation. They will generally either meet the threat head-on or will attempt to escape it. Low level fears, or anxieties, will produce what Freud called ego-defense mechanisms, which include both direct and indirect responses.

The ego has some pretty sophisticated tools it can use in its defense. The lack of these defenses, or the inability to use them effectively can often lead to problems in life. However, people sometimes employ the defenses at the wrong time or overuse them, which can be equally destructive. Here are some common ego-defense mechanisms:

Denial:  Arguing against an anxiety provoking stimuli by stating it doesn't exist.

Displacement:  Taking out impulses on a less threatening target.

Intellectualization:  Avoiding unacceptable emotions by focusing on the intellectual aspects.

Projection: Placing unacceptable impulses onto someone else.

Rationalization: Supplying a logical or rational reason as opposed to the real reason.

Reaction Formation:  Taking the opposite belief because the true belief causes anxiety. 

Regression: Returning to a previous stage of development.

Repression:  Pulling into the unconscious (forgetting).

Sublimation:  Acting out unacceptable impulses in a socially acceptable way.

Suppression: Pushing into the unconscious (trying to forget).

In Marianne Williamson's View

How can "our light" frighten us most? Consider how many people fear stepping boldly into that light. Marianne Williamson declares, "Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here." With a deep spiritual belief, she acknowledges that God exists in eternity, and she understands that the only point where eternity meets time is in the present. Williamson thinks people should "produce themselves" and "manifest the glory of God within themselves" without hesitation.

Marianne Williamson believes that the only work that will ultimately bring any good to anyone is the work of contributing to the healing of the world. She understands that every person is on a unique spiritual path, the journey of their individual lives, but many are held back by the love they have been denied, so they're not sufficiently extending themselves in their present lives. Williamson says, "If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you."

 
Facing Fear

I wonder how many people "play small" because of fear. They use ego-defense mechanisms to pull back from facing threats that pose little actual harm. Instead of conquering their trivial anxieties and gaining much-needed confidence, they let their egos guide them to perceived safe harbors. Williamson understands that "a child of God" has no reason to fear and shrink away from being "brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous."

Now, some would say, "OK, that's good advice for extroverts, but people like me are meek, happy, well-intentioned individuals." And, I acknowledge the right of these folks to live in security while taking less active roles in the course of events. Still, these less visible individuals should not let their fears stop them from being vessels of God. They can "whisper" with confidence in the grace of the Almighty and lead as quiet examples.

In short, I believe it's not how pretty or smart or talented a person is that makes him or her a success. Instead, a person's greatest accomplishments result from some simple steps. The person must do the following:

1. Acknowledge the Master of the journey,
2. Determine the best path to serve God and others,
3. Step forward onto the bright road toward success,
4. And, conquer fears that would inhibit progress. 

Thank You, Marianne Williamson

Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed spiritual teacher. Six of her ten published books have been New York Times Best Sellers. Four of these have been #1 New York Times Best Sellers. A Return to Love is considered a must-read of The New Spirituality.

Marianne’s latest New York Times Best Seller is A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever. A Course in Weight Loss was selected by Oprah to be one of her Favorite Things in 2010.

Here is a link to her website: http://www.marianne.com/.

Making Amends

Nothing can excuse or, in any way, justify my actions during the many, many times I have totally messed up. My lack of control in these situations resulted from my own deficiencies and insecurities. As I  loosed my anger in total disregard, I trod upon others. In my rage, I spoke hurtful words and took spiteful actions that damaged both friend and foe.

Later, after I cooled down, I regretted my rash, unwarranted behaviors. Sometimes I offered the aggrieved a lame apology as a self-centered attempt to make myself feel better. But, the damage had already been done; I had inflicted irreversible harm. I had been terribly, terribly wrong.

Making Amends

I am sure I should attempt to make amends for my wrongdoings. I realize that attempts to rectify something that left deep scars in another may be fruitless. After all, from my own experience, I find it very difficult to express remorse without sounding as if I am making excuses or being self-serving. I never want to do this. I want to take full responsibility for my blunders without shifting the blame or without seeking to be absolved.

I know I deserve to suffer the full consequences of my unacceptable actions. I do, however, realize the importance of reaching out in an attempt to help heal wounds that I have so carelessly inflicted. Sometimes my own pride inhibits this process. Letting my ego stand between between me and obligatory actions is a personal character fault. I know I must better practice humility and dispense with pride.

So, making amends in a correct manner is a step toward helping those I have hurt. Ross Bonander, stress management specialist, ("Making Amends: 4 Steps," www.askmen.com) offers some practical suggestions for stepping up and making amends. The site: http://www.askmen.com/money/body_and_mind_150/167_better_living.html.

1. Determine the Scope of Your Wrongdoings

You should develop empathy by looking at your actions from other angles, including the angle of the person you wronged. The hope is to understand how and why your actions hurt the person. Ask some tough questions: "How did my mistake affect their life? Did my mistake cause irreversible damage to this person’s self-esteem/self-worth?"

2. Offer a Carefully Worded Apology

Your apology may need to be repeated to others down the line -- friends, family members, colleagues. To that end, your apology should:

• Address the mistake itself (“I gave you my word and I let you down”);
• Address how and why it affected the person to show you fully understand (“What I did has compromised the trust you had in me”);
• Express your desire not to lose this important relationship (“Your friendship is valuable to me”);
• Hold no one but yourself accountable -- now is not the time to deflect blame.

Do not offer the promise, “I’ll never do it again” unless you’re prompted. It’s a common trap, an easy way out and a strategic blunder.

3. Suggest Ways To Repair the Relationship

Your suggestions should be relevant to the mistake in an effort to satisfy the person’s sense of needing to see a wrong righted and to indicate that you understand where you went wrong. You need to try to "clean up the mess" you created.

Since you broke confidence, you need to rebuild the friendship over time through actions and activities that indirectly restore that person’s faith and trust in you.

Do not make suggestions that seem like an effort to buy  your way out without true repercussions such as: “Let me take you to dinner.” Additionally, avoid asking questions like, “How can I make this up to you?” or “What can I do to fix this?” They suggest that you don’t understand your mistake.

4. Avoid Repeating the Mistake

You will have to make amends again in the future (this is unavoidable), but preferably not for the same mistake, so reexamine how you made your mistakes and how you can avoid making those same mistakes again.

Understanding Employment and Outcomes

Making amends is not silly, weak behavior. Making a genuine effort to accept responsibility for wrongdoings and to offer reparation is both kind and supportive. This effort exceeds a mere apology in that it attempts to compensate for a loss. Granted, making amends is not easy. It requires that you exercise absolute honesty and extreme caution while offering this compensation. It requires you to do significant, hard work.

Also, patience is a virtue that you must employ as you make amends. Depending upon the severity of the damage you have inflicted and the receptive nature of the aggrieved, your amends may or may be received. Some may need extended time to consider the apology and restitution. Time can truly aid healing.

And remember, some may never acknowledge amends. These people have their personal reasons for ignoring you. This is all right. Forgiveness is unnatural for so many who wish to hold onto the wrongness of others.

When you face the truth courageously as you offer amends, remember that God has your back every step of the way. As a sinner and a human being, you cannot be perfect. You must understand this.You should forgive yourself, make restitution, and move on with life.

Remember, the Bible tells us that we are to forgive, without condition, those who sin against us. Refusing to truly forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and anger, none of which are the traits of a true Christian.

The Rev. Canon William A. Kolb reminds us:

"I believe the reason that God is so forgiving is that God always knows what was in our hearts and minds when we did whatever it was we did that needed forgiveness. God understands our fears, our hurts, and the dark stuff in us that spawns our dark thoughts, words and actions. If we can try to understand what is going on in the person who wrongs us, or if we can believe they would not have done it or said it or whatever, had they not had some pain within themselves, then perhaps it will be easier for us to let go of whatever it is from which we have been withholding forgiveness.

"Another major point about forgiveness: We cannot really forgive others until we can see ourselves as being potentially as sinful as the person sinning against us. Our sinfulness may take very different forms from what others do when they stray, but sin is sin. If I steal and you gossip, can I feel righteous because I have not gossiped? Another way to put that is: I need to know that I am a person in need of forgiveness if I am to be forgiving." (Bill Kolb, "Forgive Us Our Sins As We Forgive Those Who Sin Against Us," The Lord's Prayer: An Eight-part Series Exploring Its Meaning Line By Line, Calvary Episcopal Church, 2002)

Bill Kolb's sermon: http://www.explorefaith.org/prayer/essays/lord6.html.

"Oh Thou, who Man of baser Earth didst make, 

And ev'n with Paradise devise the snake; 

For all the Sin wherewith the Face of Man Is blackened--

Man's forgiveness give and take!"
--Omar Khayyam