Brian Wilson
Song by Barenaked Ladies
Drove downtown in the
rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the
late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive
Call
it insane
But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop
It's a matter of
instinct
It's a matter of conditioning and a matter of fact
You
can call me Pavlov's Dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate
How'd
you like that?
Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue
'Cause right now I'm
lying in bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am lying in
bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
So I'm lying here
Just
staring at the ceiling tiles
And I'm thinking about, oh what to
think about
Just listening and relistening
To Smiley Smile
And
I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought
Because I'm lying in
bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am Lying in bed
Just
like Brian Wilson did, whoa
And if you want to find
me
I'll be out in the sandbox
Just wondering where the hell all
the love has gone
I'm playing my guitar and building
Castles
in the sun, oh oh oh
And singing "Fun, Fun, Fun"
Lying in bed
Just
like Brian Wilson did
Well I am lying in bed
Just like Brian
Wilson did, whoa
I had a dream
That I
was three hundred pounds
And though I was very heavy
I floated
'til I couldn't see the ground
I floated 'til I couldn't see the
ground
Somebody, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody, I couldn't
see the ground
Somebody help me
Because I'm lying in
bed
Just like Brian Wilson did
Well I am lying in bed
Just
like Brian Wilson did, yeah
Drove downtown in the
rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the
late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive
You
can call it insane, oh oh
But when I'm surrounded
I just can't
stop
The famous sandbox Brian Wilson installed in his living-room
Understanding Brian Wilson is difficult. I say that because of his great influence on rock music coupled with the events in his strange life – it is a story of a brilliant musical genius tortured by demons that threatened to take his life. Though he may still appear rather awkward and unsettled, Brian Wilson is a survivor who actually reinvented himself as a producer and live performer at age 57.
After all the years where his life was dominated by negativity, Wilson now has a positive, supportive personal life with wife Melinda and their family. He's also surrounded by musicians who clearly revere him and are devoted to bringing what Elton John called “the orchestra in Wilson's head” to life.
Substance abuse and mental health issues forced the singer-songwriter-composer to withdraw from the world just as his professional star was reaching new heights in the mid-60s. By the 70s the errant mastermind was said to be miraculously cured and sent him out to meet the press to prove it. The result was heartbreaking and horrifying in equal measure – interviews depicting a halting, visibly terrified man who said he "felt like a prisoner": occasionally, the interviews concluded abruptly with Wilson asking the journalist for drugs.
(Alexis Petridis. “The astonishing genius of Brian Wilson.” The Guardian. June 24, 2011.)
A new documentary, Brian Wilson: Long Promised Road (2021 with Rolling Stone editor Jason Fine) tells Brian Wilson's survival story. Readers may enjoy watching this film for further insight.
"The Beatles only attempted 'Sgt. Pepper’s' because Brian Wilson had done 'Pet Sounds.' And while The Beatles had George Martin as a producer, Brian Wilson had only himself."
--Todd, Lowry, Pianist/singer/songwriter at Music For Life
Just What's Going On, Brian?
Historical Note:
From the establishment of The Beach Boys, Brian took the role of bandleader and creative force behind the group, though he often came up against opposition from his father and manager, Murry Wilson. Relationships between the two never seem to have been particularly warm, especially in light of allegations of physical and emotional abuse leveled at the Wilson patriarch by his children.
The genius who wrote and performed all of those great Beach Boys songs – “God Only Knows,” “Wouldn't It Be Nice,” “California Girls,” “Good Vibrations,” “Don't Worry Baby” just to name just a few – had a nervous breakdown brought about by his incredible workload. Between 1963 and 1965, he wrote and produced nine Beach Boys albums and 16 singles.
Of those days, Wilson says: “I was run down mentally and emotionally because I was running around, jumping on jets from one city to another on one-night stands, also producing, writing, arranging, singing, planning, teaching – to the point where I had no peace of mind and no chance to actually sit down and think or even rest. The rubber band had stretched as far as it would go.”
(Tom Nolan. “Beach Boys: A California Saga.” Rolling Stone. October 28, 1971.)
And, that “rubber band” in Wilson's head soon broke. Pubali Dasgupta of Far Out writes …
“On 23rd December 1964, Brian Wilson suffered from a major nervous breakdown five minutes into the flight in which the band was travelling to Houston for a concert. His bandmate, Beach Boy Al Jardine, said, 'We were really scared for him. He obviously had a breakdown. None of us had ever witnessed something like that.' The Houston press detailed the incident saying that Brian “started crying and making shrieking noises. He screamed into a pillow, spun out of his seat and sobbed on the cabin floor.”
“But that didn’t end there. Once the aircraft landed, Brian begged to be allowed to go home immediately. After much persuasion, he gave in and went into his hotel room. All looked well until Ron Foster of the Houston-based band The Detours found him in an almost paralyzed state in the band’s dressing room. “He was just kind of staring off into space… He wasn’t rude. He didn’t tell us to get out or anything like that. He was just kind of like staring off into the corner like he wasn’t there.” That night the band performed at the concert without Brian and felt compelled to send him back to Los Angeles.”
(Pubali Dasgupta. “The flight that changed Beach Boy Brian Wilson's life forever.” Far Out. December 23, 2020.)
You see, before his breakdown, Brian Wilson had begun dosing his already fragile psyche with LSD “in the pursuit of ever greater artistic achievement.” In his autobiography, Wilson says the struggle for his mental health is the result of bad drugs. “I’ve told a lot of people don’t take psychedelic drugs. It’s mentally dangerous to take. I regret having taken LSD. It’s a bad drug.”
(Brian Wilson. I Am Brian Wilson: A Memoir. October 11, 2016 .)
Wilson said …
“Oh, I knew right from the start something was wrong. I’d taken some psychedelic drugs, and then about a week after that I started hearing voices, and they’ve never stopped. For a long time I thought to myself, 'Oh, I can’t deal with this.' But I learned to deal with it anyway.”
Whatever his mental state beforehand, LSD wreaked unimaginable havoc on the 25-year-old Brian Wilson. Wilson then began hearing voices "saying derogatory things,” telling him that he was finished and was going to die soon, a condition that continues to this day. “Daily,” he said. The voices were accompanied by black depressions and bursts of crippling, irrational fear.
In an interview with Ability Magazine in 2006, Wilson said …
“Well, for the past 40 years I’ve had auditory hallucinations in my head, all day every day, and I can’t get them out. Every few minutes the voices say something derogatory to me, which discourages me a little bit, but I have to be strong enough to say to them, “Hey, would you quit stalking me? F*** off! Don’t talk to me—leave me alone!” I have to say these types of things all day long. It’s like a fight.”
(Editor-in-chief Chet Cooper and Senior Health Editor Gillian Friedman, MD. “Brian Wilson — A Powerful Interview.” Ability Magazine. 2006.)
Years later, a study of Brian Wilson by Stefano Roberto Belli BA, MSc, DPhil of South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust reported …
“Wilson suffers from auditory hallucinations, and has also held various paranoid beliefs and delusions. He first reported hearing indistinct voices and screaming in his sleep in 1963 (at age 21), reporting that he was able to stop himself from hearing them as long as he kept working and producing music.
“This claim ties in with Wilson’s reports that at about this age he felt ‘a compulsion’ to write music constantly, becoming sick and anxious when he did not do so (Wilson & Gold, 1991, p. 72; Ligerman & Leaf, 2004). Compulsion to write music may also be an early indication of safety behaviours and attempts to regain control of his environment, given that Wilson has often made reference to experiencing anxiety in the presence of others, as well as reticence in engaging in interpersonal relations
“His strange behaviours deepened with time: by 1964, he would often become obsessed with tiny details (e.g. counting the number of tiles on a floor, the number of peas on a plate, the number of stitches on an aeroplane seat), and by 1966 he would conduct important conversations only in his home swimming pool, as he believed his house was filled with hidden recording devices.
“More overtly psychotic symptoms gradually worsened as Wilson entered his mid-twenties, particularly his auditory hallucinations which went from indistinct recollections of hypnagogic experiences to fully formed speech that reminded him of critical remarks made by his father (Carlin, 2006). As Wilsogrew older, the voices he heard grew more frightening: in 2004 he reported that when he experienced them, they would threaten to kill him and his family (Ligerman & Leaf, 2004).”
(Stefano Roberto Belli. “A psychobiographical analysis of Brian Douglas Wilson: Creativity, drugs, and models of schizophrenic and affective disorders.” Personality and Individual Differences 46. June 2009.)
At first, Wilson attempted to “heal” himself with illicit drugs. At the height of his drug use, he appeared to be deteriorating due to ongoing heroin, LSD, cocaine, and marijuana consumption, according to the Daily Mail. He waited fifteen years before seeking help. He says, "I didn't need help before then." But then, he was diagnosed with bipolar schizoaffective disorder.
(Gabrielle Donnelly. “I nearly went the same way as Jacko: Beach Boy Brian Wilson on overdosing, his greedy guru... and the girl who saved him.” Daily Mail. July 02, 2015.)
Brian Wilson also developed stage fright. He says, it's a state of affairs compounded by the fact that the voices he hears get louder when he's onstage.
Brian Wilson and Landy
By the mid-1970s Wilson’s then-wife employed psychologist Dr. Eugene Landy in an effort to help Wilson control his drug dependency and take charge of his overall health. Monitoring the singer-songwriter 24 hours a day along with a team of assistants, Landy would help Wilson gain some control over his physical and mental health, but would also be accused of exploiting his control over his patient during the almost 15 on-again, off-again years
Biography.com relates …
“In 1991 Wilson’s family sued Landy, obtaining a restraining order against the doctor. Landy would eventually lose his license to practice psychology in California but remained close to Wilson throughout the rest of his life. Wilson credited Landy with helping his recovery through medication and forced abstinence, resulting in his return to performing and producing new music.”
(Colin Bertram. “Inside Brian Wilson's Mental Health Struggles.” Biography.com. December 17, 2020.)
Of Landy, Wilson, in a rare moment of bitterness, says …
“I thought he was my friend. He was even like a father figure to me. But he was a very f***ed-up man.”
(Gabrielle Donnelly. “I nearly went the same way as Jacko: Beach Boy Brian Wilson on overdosing, his greedy guru... and the girl who saved him.” Daily Mail. July 02, 2015.)
After finding an equilibrium and separating himself from Landy, Wilson began touring regularly again in the late Nineties. Wilson and his friends credit his ongoing well-being to his second wife, Melinda, whom he married in 1995 and has five adopted children with.
“She got him to see the right doctors,” longtime Wilson friend Jeff Foskett said to People in 2012. “She’s provided a family environment for him. They actually do things together.”
When Michael Jackson died of acute propofol and benzodiazepine intoxication in 2009, something clicked for Wilson. He says …
“I thought very hard when I heard that Michael Jackson had died, and how he had died, and I got very depressed. I survived my own stuff through what was in my heart and through working at my piano, and with Melinda and some others who were there for me, saying: 'Come on, Brian, you can get through this. And I did get through it. I’m not even angry about it. I don’t know why, but I’m just not.”
(Gabrielle Donnelly. “I nearly went the same way as Jacko: Beach Boy Brian Wilson on overdosing, his greedy guru... and the girl who saved him.” Daily Mail. July 02, 2015.)
Wilson admits that he continues to struggle and still occasionally sees a therapist: “On my good days I feel creative, I laugh a lot, I go to my piano and play… Some days I don’t feel creative and I don’t talk to anybody.”
(Colin Bertram. “Inside Brian Wilson's Mental Health Struggles.” Biography.com. December 17, 2020.)
Wilson's creative and performing output continues, but he is aware his mental health must always come first. Wilson postponed dates on his 2019 Pet Sounds and Greatest Hits Live Tour after back surgeries caused him to feel “mentally insecure,” according to a press statement. The Beach Boys icon had been in the studio recording and rehearsing with his band when his mental health issues “crept back,” he said, causing him to struggle “with stuff in my head and saying things I don’t mean.”
(Kory Grow. “Brian Wilson Postpones Tour Saying He Feels ‘Mentally Insecure.'” Rolling Stone. June 06, 2019.)
“It is no secret that I have been living with mental illness for many decades,” Wilson added. “There were times when it was unbearable but with doctors and medications I have been able to live a wonderful, healthy and productive life with support from my family, friend and fans who have helped me through this journey.”
Historical Note: Conclusions From a Study of Brian Wilson's Disorders
“The case of Brian Douglas Wilson has proven illuminating for current models of creativity,
schizophrenia (and related spectrum disorders), bipolarity, and drug effects. The evidence presented strongly supports his diagnoses of schizoaffective and mild bipolar disorders, though there is also information to suggest that such categorical labels may not provide the most qualitatively informative account of his condition.“His drug abuse has had detrimental effects on his psychological well-being, as did poor clinical and medicinal decisions earlier in his life. His cannabis and LSD use may have exacerbated and contributed to various frightening aspects of his disorder, but at the same time had some (likely indirect) positive influence upon his creativity.
“Furthermore, this insight has allowed for a reappraisal of the efficacy of LSD as a drug model for psychosis (albeit an incomplete one), and the nature of Wilson’s coincident mental disorder has fostered development and clarification of theorizing about the potential relationships between schizophrenia-spectrum disorders and bipolarity.
“Since no one drug serves to fully replicate his symptoms, we may also conclude that finding perfect drug models of either creativity or certain disorders is unrealistic. A more useful method may be a componential approach to models of creativity and psychological disorder. In the current instance, LSD-sensitive serotonin pathways are specifically implicated in attentional overinclusion, but this represents only one facet of creativity. Similarly, a pathologically wide attentional focus fails to account for negative schizophrenic symptomatology and the reactive nature of bipolar depression ...
“As a final note, it bears mentioning once again that despite its presentation as a scientific case
study, the current analysis in no way professes to reduce the astounding creativity of Brian Wilson to a simplistic account of his psychological disorders. Wilson’s life and music bears influence that stretches incalculably further than the stylized and convoluted ramblings of this article. The genius evident in The Beach Boys’ discography by itself makes this point rather eloquently.”
(Stefano Roberto Belli. “A psychobiographical analysis of Brian Douglas Wilson: Creativity, drugs, and models of schizophrenic and affective disorders.” Personality and Individual Differences 46. June 2009.)
So you say you would like to better understand the man himself. Then, listen to his incredible music. You will not be disappointed. And, go beyond the standard Beach Boys hits and expose your ears to Wilson's entire career. It's still going on, you know.
Yep, 79-year-old Brian Wilson is still performing. If you want to see this legend, he has a 2022 tour which includes a stop with Chicago at Riverbend Music Center in Cincinnati on Saturday, July 23, 2022. Maybe I'll see you there.
“I consider myself to be a crusader of love. I try to spread love around the world as best I can because I know I have a handle on love.”
– Brian Wilson
Historical Note: The Genius of Brian Wilson
“Brian Wilson employed musical techniques that inspired contemporaries both within his field
(MacDonald, 1998) and without (Ligerman & Leaf, 2004). At the same time, his work garnered commercial success via a string of high-charting singles and million-selling albums, whilst nevertheless retaining integrity in peer reviews (Rolling Stone, 2003).
“That Wilson employed novel approaches in composition is evident from his use of unconventional instrumentation and compositional methods, which make heavy use of bizarre and idiosyncratic harmonic progressions (Wegman, 2005). Interestingly, his unusual approach to instrumentation seems linked to strange and emotional associationsto sounds, e.g. remarking that the sound of the theremin (a rare instrument, which he championed) put him in mind of ’weird facial expressions – almost sexual’ (Wilson & Gold, 1991, p. 82). Unusual thoughts such as these provide the basis for speculation of a link between creativity and mental illness.
“In later years, Wilson’s song-writing and arranging skills developed to such an extent that he was consistently named as one of the most creative and influential figures in popular music in thelatter half of the twentieth century. Unfortunately, as his fame and musical prowess progressedfrom the year 1964, so too did a range of psychological problems, including heavy drug use.
“Wilson has been (at different times and by different individuals) said to suffer from unspecified schizophrenia, paranoid schizophrenia, depression, schizoaffective disorder and bipolar depression.
“Part of the scope of this analysis is to examine how valid these diagnoses were and how any symptoms he shows might best be conceptualized. This is of particular importance in trying to identify characteristics of mental disorder that may impact on creativity when we consider the vast heterogeneity of symptoms present in schizophrenia and related disorders (Buchanan & Carpenter, 1994), of which schizoaffective disorder is an example (Gershon, DeLisi, Hamovit, Nurnberger, Maxwell, Schreiber, Dauphinais, Dingman & Guroff, 1988)”
(Stefano Roberto Belli. “A psychobiographical analysis of Brian Douglas Wilson: Creativity, drugs, and models of schizophrenic and affective disorders.” Personality and Individual Differences 46. June 2009.)
No comments:
Post a Comment