I literally, awake and not sleeping, had the strangest thing happen to me. I lost track of the day. No, not hours, the entire day. I noticed the clock read 11:30, and the sun was still shining. There was no way. It had to be 11:30 p.m. or else the battery in the clock had gone haywire. I had been awake since the early hours of the morning of May 8, and I was sure the entire day had gone by, so I was preparing for my normal evening. I'm still shocked the time was 11:30 a.m. on May 8 when I realized that little or no time had elapsed since getting up. My wife thought I was even more insane than usual.
Strangely, I had not napped since early morning, and I spent hours awake before my strange experience -- even letting the dog out and giving him a bath plus writing a journal entry on "parents." Believe me, as slow as I am these days, this stoppage of time couldn't have been related to my old, typically confused brain. I was conscious and evidently time had stood still -- for how long, I cannot say. I thought about this had happened to no end: it was a complete mystery to me.
I did not feel faint nor did I refrain from taking my pills on time. I Googled my feelings and found out that something called "dissociative identity disorder" is used to describe "losing time." When we talk about losing time we’re talking about severe dissociative amnesia which, in a milder form, is something the author believes everyone experiences. It’s easy to be unaware that you’re losing time at all. But what of its severity?
Living with dissociative identity disorder (DID) can be a perplexing reality. There are many symptoms, including depersonalization and derealization. . One symptom involves “losing time: or “blacking out” for periods of time. This happens with no drugs or alcohol in the system. It is scary to realize that you've lost time, and sometimes the person may not realize it at all.
Losing time, or having large blocks of time for which one has no memory is a symptom of DID. This can be very scary and can have serious consequences. Sometimes a person will lose so much time that they “wake up” in an unfamiliar town or place. This is called Dissociative Fugue.
(Polley, S. 2015, February 1. "Losing Time With Dissociative Identity Disorder," HealthyPlace.)
The Cleveland Clinic calls Dissociative Fugue a symptom where a person with memory loss travels or wanders. That leaves the person in an unfamiliar setting with no memory of how they got there. This symptom usually happens with conditions caused by severe trauma. People usually regain their memories but almost always need mental health care to help them fully recover.
The term “fugue” comes from the Latin word for fleeing or running away, which is why this symptom involves traveling or wandering. People who experience a fugue state usually can’t recognize gaps in their memory until they have evidence that they can’t remember something. People with this symptom can unintentionally travel to specific locations or wander. Often, they'll come out of the fugue state and feel confused because they don't remember how they got to where they are.
Fugue states can be as short as a few hours, or they can last for days or even months. When fugue states are shorter, it’s harder for others to see signs of them, as people with this might look like they’re late or absent from their usual comings and goings. When fugue states are longer, people can find themselves far away from their usual surroundings. They might try to take on a new identity and build a new life for themselves, which can last until their memories return.
Dissociative fugues are most likely to happen because of two conditions, dissociative amnesia and dissociative identity disorder. In dissociative amnesia, memory loss happens as a defense mechanism to protect a person from recalling disturbing or painful events. It can also happen because of ongoing strain, especially when a person faces sudden life changes, including ending relationships, financial or work troubles, or the loss of a loved one.
("Dissociative Fugue." Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/22836-dissociative-fugue. April 19, 2022.)
Between 1–1.5% of the global population has DID, according to recent estimates, which develops when someone experiences trauma which causes their mind to fracture. DID is characterized by the involuntary creation of altered states of consciousness, which may present as distinct personalities, according to Mayo Clinic.
Mayo also called DID "losing time," and declares that this feature of dissociative disorders is
often associated with traumatic events. A clinical diagnosis of
dissociative amnesia must be specific to a certain time, and it may
occur suddenly, according to the clinic.
People who are diagnosed with DID and other dissociative disorders may find that it impacts their daily functioning and puts stress on their relationships, as they may seem distant, confused, or forgetful.
Feeling "out of it" for one day doesn't mean you have a dissociative disorder, but if you find yourself losing chunks of time or feeling like you're outside your body several times a week, it could be something to discuss with a professional, psychologist Rebecca Semel told Business Insider.
One person who suffers frequently from disassociating (the last ten years), or losing time, says it can be dangerous with no memory and no recall. She says ...
"Malevolent dissociative experiences for me are harmful. Through intense examination of my emotional awareness and lack of ability to completely control my emotions, and my reactions to them, I have been able to begin to understand why these things happen to me. Anger, fear, failure, self-hate and guilt. These five emotions are overwhelming for me.
"When any of these emotions cross the hair-thin line of being too much for me to handle, I disappear. Sometimes it happens quickly, and I come to hours later, or even the next day. Other times I can feel myself starting to dissolve. It’s like a tingling sensation all over my body, with a slight pressure that slowly shrinks me. I get smaller and smaller, and a fog comes over my brain. My vision gets blurry, and I almost feel tired. My voice sounds like it’s trapped in a tunnel, and everything around me appears bigger, the smaller I get. I shrink down, losing feeling in my face and limbs, and then my awareness simply stops.
"Through a lot of introspection, personal insight and help from my psychologists and psychiatrist, I have been able to keep going. I have been able to slowly discern between my post-traumatic stress disorder brain and my logical or non-emotional practical brain. I have been able to identify emotions, so that I may distract and delay any forthcoming harm ..."
(Christine Tate."When Your Disorder Causes You to Lose Time." The Mighty. May 7,, 2024.)
No comments:
Post a Comment