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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Some Soulfood

I'm guilty of wondering about infinity and its relationship to my soul. I believe in both- I am quite certain the universe is infinite and I am positive my soul exists. But, doesn't it make me think about the absolute awesomeness of these realities? Parallel universes and the possibility of existing in dimensions unseen by humans- wow! The thought of my soul(s) exploring new worlds is both exciting and rather unnerving. I trust in God, and only in God, to understand these things, but as an inquisitive person, I just have to wonder about them at times. My belief in the power of the Supreme Being is solid. Still, I think there is infinite knowledge about God's universe that we humans don't know and never will. Faith has to be the key to deliverance while we live and breathe on planet earth. I firmly believe in life after death, and I exercise my faith in God's promise. I'm just exploring the makeup of the soul. This term is so undefinable. We are just matter or stardust to scientists and our particular matter occupies a one of a kind DNA. Yet, my eternal soul rests within the framework of my ever-aging, temporary body. I feel through my soul the concerns that effect me most. My soul has experiences unique to me which are impossible to relate to anyone else. Even my closest family and closest friends cannot thoroughly dissect my soul through their questions and their concerns. I think my brain does a pretty good job of answering the inquiring person, but my soul has a valve that opens only to a precious few. And even when that valve is open, my soul finds it very hard to ooze out what it really knows. Actually, I don't have to answer for most matters of the soul because, as far as my soul is concerned, it cannot expect total comprehension. Yes, some people can read my soul better than others. I guess we can learn about each other when we try. A strong soul does remain pretty stubborn though unless it believes the risk is worth taking. Someone once said, "The eyes are the windows into the soul." Maybe this is because the soul most needs to see the things that may become part of its makeup. Certain sights make my soul ache and soar and love and rejoice. Almost automatically, my eyes feed my soul and seem to let me evaluate each new experience I go through and approve or deny each new person I meet. I often instantly trust my soul to comprehend my feelings, still knowing each further look will modify its picture. An older soul is much more cautious about judgments. It respects the solitary nature of others innermost beliefs and fear of exposure. There must be more to soul growth than sight recognition though. I have let all my senses help me develop my soul at different times. A touch, a sound, a taste, even a smell have evoked important soul reactions. A baby's skin, a blues recording, a bite of chocolate, an aroma of bread baking. My soul takes all of these sensual experiences into its developing world. The sense reaction then becomes more than itself when my soul deems it most necessary, and my soul, unlike my mind, never forgets what it internalizes. My soul seems unwilling to forget any small detail of acquired senses and emotions. These soulful experiences evoke others and so on. For example, I can remember the mixed smell of chlorine and water and the concession stand and tanning oils as I entered Dreamland Pool. And this leads to swim dances and high dives and girlfriends and muscle cars. My soul imprinted pleasant memories in something other than brain cells. Almost poetically, the pool became a part of my being. I also believe some people possess more soul than others. Could it be some soul power helps displace mental power. I don't say this to downgrade intelligence. I just have met some very soulful people who remain memorable not because of their braininess, but because of their charisma of soul. Something about these people exudes confidence and draws me closer. Their actions, words, and mannerisms pull similar feelings from within me. My soul communes with theirs almost without question. I don't think a book or a course can necessarily help people establish powerful souls. So much of who they have become is unspoken and not on the surface. Something deep within them (their strong souls?) seems to guide their lives. And, these soulful people never try to impress me but almost magically, they nearly always do. Scratches in souls need to heal and, as most know, the deeper the cut, the slower the healing. Yet, the older soul has many marks, or battle scars, that remain after major conflicts. These scars are both sore reminders and grateful medals of a unique journey. As I said before, the soul may not tell others of its exact state; however, if we look and listen carefully, we often experience a leak of someone's lifeblood. And still, the soul remains "on fire" for its beliefs and convictions. Losing the fire most likely means losing existence, whether a person is nine or ninety. My soul still seeks truth and longs for many things to keep it alive and free. Light, dark, and a lot of gray exist there. Where will it go when its frame is rusted beyond repair? I'm not certain but I am certain it will still be seeking, seeking something new to help better itself and make it stronger.
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