I wish everyone had the ability to be skillful at everything. That, of course, represents a fantasy of the largest proportions. Understanding that some of us are better at some things while others are far more adept at different tasks, I often wonder why we continue to live such isolated lives, seldom requesting help.

Pride and self-denial contribute to the unproductive nature of our isolated beings as we make miscalculated assumptions that acquisition of unknown skills will be an immediate byproduct of personal industry. This is seldom, if ever, the outcome of first attempts.

I have always preferring working with teams over working privately. In athletics, in work, or in projects, a good team most often produces good results and a feelings of shared accomplishments. Fellowship can be extremely enjoyable and make teamwork pleasurable. Teams and teamwork seem to have lost favor in the face of individual stardom and of rapt attention paid to the money and fame associated with individual accomplishments. 

"Generation Me" (anyone born in the 1970s, 1980s, or 1990s) has never known a world that put duty before self, and believes that the needs of the individual should come first.(Jean M. Twenge, Generation Me, 2006) This is not the same thing as being selfish – it is captured, instead, in the phrases we so often hear: "Be yourself," "Believe in yourself," "You must love yourself before you can love someone else."

Twenge contends that today's young people have been raised by Baby Boomers to aim for the stars at a time when it is more difficult than ever to get into college, find a good job, and afford a house. Their expectations are very high just as the world is becoming more competitive, so there's a huge clash between their expectations and reality. (Jean M. Twenge, Generation Me, 2006)

Conventional wisdom, supported by academic studies using the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, maintains that "today’s young people — schooled in the church of self-esteem, vying for spots on reality television, promoting themselves on YouTube — are more narcissistic than their predecessors." (Stephanie Rosenbloom, New York Times, January 17 2008)

Such beliefs also have created a generation of young people who believe every dream is attainable but who aren't prepared to deal with discovering it isn't so. Disappointment with the ability of one's individual efforts to secure goals looms large in reality.

Yet some scholars disagree about why Generation Me is perceived as narcissistic. Their reasons include the personal biases of older adults, the lack of nuance in the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, changing social norms, the news media’s emphasis on celebrity, and the rise of social networking sites that encourage egocentricity. (Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road From the Late Teens through the Twenties, 2004)

Teams and Challenges

I love team sports, and I think I was a decent judge of the strengths of individuals in my team efforts. To accomplish goals, each member of the team must support the whole while playing within his role and achieving his own realistic potential through many contributions. I am not talking about the old cliche' "There is no 'I' in team." Each team member is an important "I" within the team concept. The key to success is for each "I" to contribute and sacrifice for all others as their primary focus. This often requires a sobering assessment of a player's best role and then strict application of the results come game day.

Then, teamwork flourishes as each member of the unit respects the individual contributions of every member. Contributions vary from teammate to teammate: some fill major roles of production while others assist in crucial auxiliary positions. Individuals must keep overall team matters in focus as they diligently use their talents to assist in all group activities.The team essentially becomes a functioning "machine" as the players represent parts of the mechanism. The goals shift from selfish play to developing team excellence to keep the machine at peak performance.

Pressures to be someone who must act alone to guarantee group success drop dramatically when teamwork is perfected. Achievable objectives and group reliance create an atmosphere in which a player's domination of teammates is unacceptable and self-defeating. Inevitable errors become bumps in the road of a team, not pits of destruction and despair. I am reminded of the quote by Blaise Pascal, "We are all something, but none of us are everything."

Individual Challenges

Not every challenge can be faced by a team. Granted, sometimes, the work, by its nature, strictly requires solo production. No one is available for instruction or help in such cases.Then, proper completion of the task falls directly upon the individual charged with the assignment. This individual tackles the task and works to the best of his ability. A properly trained individual generally succeeds in such work.

But, what about individuals who stubbornly insist upon acting without others while performing a tough or new assignment when they could seek assistance? They definitely need help but decide that the demanding "learning experience" will somehow benefit their character.Trial and error does teach some concepts, but it is very frustrating and time consuming. And, often, it lowers one's opinion of self.

As people face alien environments, reality takes hold and they quickly discover their weaknesses; they suffer with great apprehension. Then, their performance noticeably drops or even miserably fails. Without the support of others, people face difficult tasks with huge complications that cripple them because they are bent on "doing it all themselves." The best intentions may lead to inferiority. In truth, such individuals should take stock of their own talents, gather pertinent resources to fill the gaps of incompetence, and politely ask for help. Far from being a sign of weakness, successfully exploring avenues of assistance to acquire help is a skill in itself.

The Importance of Team Leaders

Unfortunately, teams, at work or at play, often rush into the popularity of team dynamics without realizing the importance of defining team roles as well as individual roles and incorporating those actions into their daily operations.These teams often fail because team leaders ignore the importance of differing roles in favor of looking for all-around superstars.

Many leaders fail to realize that a team must do many complicated tasks in order to be successful. Leaders must see that various team roles require people to highlight one another, and, in turn, create an effective machine together. Usually, general pep talks used to modify performance fail miserably because they lack substance while merely promoting vague concepts of the importance of teamwork. Specifics and skills accomplish tasks.

In addition, leaders must keep other participants happy and on task within their best postures. Also, leaders must realign the team when necessary and realize the different incentives and comfort levels of the players (applying "oil" to the parts). Roles are a combination of interactions between team members that result in teamwork.

Applications For An Individual

Talent comes in many forms. Skills vary with every individual. And, most people lack at least some basic requirements for happy living. In many situations, society can fill voids that individuals ignore when they feel personally inadequate.To accept a limited role does not mean that someone (many) cannot help with difficult situations. To be narcissistic limits potential of growth through fellowship and shared burdens. Consider the growth and power of teamwork.

Here are a few cliches' that may conflict with the belief that group and duty should come before self. Should we rethink?

1. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

2. "Express yourself."

3. "Stand up for yourself."

4. "Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps."

5. "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

6. "You are your own judge.  The verdict is up to you."

7. "Do what you must, And your friends will adjust."

8. "No one else can think or feel for you .. its YOU .. ONLY YOU."

9. "God helps only those who are prepared and determined to help themselves."

10. "Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can."

   

How Far Am I Reaching?

One of the most tenuous things in personal life is "reach." Having a teaching background, I always worry about whether my "reach" is sufficient. Test scores and grades give some indication of content retention; however, whether a teacher has made any positive impact on a person's life is largely speculative. One of the hardest parts of teachers' jobs is to know, deep down, that they can never have enough reach. And, they also know they can and will alienate some students as well as encourage others to better their lives. I cringe when I consider students who hated English and their English teacher because of my teaching. But, I accept it. I believe I am a philosophical realist as it relates to truth and how it corresponds to reality. The truth is that most people are masters of their own "reach" outward, but pitifully ignorant slaves to the effect and range these "reaches" have had after they have launched them toward their intended targets. People typically do not receive post-briefings about their effectiveness in reaching out to others on the battlefields of real life. Many of my own teaching experiences have been calculated "shots in the dark" that, for all my good intentions, have either failed miserably or have succeeded moderately. And, to be realistic, I think that papers, tests, and completed tasks (though often revealing some knowledge attained) do not adequately demonstrate the range and effectiveness of a given task. Now, don't read this incorrectly. A perfect 36 English ACT score definitely shows a student has great talent and unusually high potential to succeed in this area; however, the score does not reflect the initiative and commitment to industry that will enable the student to master a related English career. Intangibles always seem to cloud the waters whether interpreting acquired knowledge or predicting future achievement. Being a great believer in "planting a seed" of knowledge with my reach, I always hope the seed will go through later vegetative and reproductive stages in the mind of my target. To help accomplish this, I try to relate information in a manner that encourages long-term retention, so with results that require long periods of time to reveal themselves, problems do arise with feedback. In fact, usually I get no feedback at all. When I do receive positive news, it is most appreciated. For example, my experience is that a grade is a symbol of accomplishment, but not a true symbol of how effective I have "planted" the information in the student's brain. A grade is a rather subjective mark on paper. Many students are taught by parents that grades guarantee success in post-secondary endeavors. And, many parents are proven wrong. Or, likewise, the National Honor Society is a reflection of achievement in the areas of the distinguished hallmarks of service, leadership, scholarship, and character but induction does little to insure growth of these characteristics in the future and to provide proof of the far reach of the good of its members. In fact, I often think inclusion in NHS is as much a "rest of laurels" as a challenge to many. If the grade or the induction is the true goal, then I believe some hypocrisy must exist. Do we merely want students to be "good" just because they are members of a well-intentioned organization? If that's the case, we should start an additional "Almost National Honor Society" to encourage "pretty good" behavior. I might vote for that, myself. In short, how do I know if I "reach" anyone with information or with any subjective belief? My philosophical reality rests on making such subject matter available for the willing to partake. Baseball Hall of Famer Ted Williams once commented about those that fail 'only' seven times out of ten attempts will be among the greatest in the game. He was right. But, a player must swing the bat in order to qualify. I can throw the pitches, but the student must swing. In addition, when I consider positive impact, I like to believe learners will retain both subject matter and positive philosophical matter. What good is one without the other? With an estimated I.Q. of 141, Hitler was a political genius. He brought Germany out of poverty and then usurped all the power of German government. But with the slightly lower estimated I.Q. of 138, Thomas Jefferson would be my choice of the two for the person with the more positive political and social impact. Adolf Hitler was a leader who controlled by manipulation and annihilation; Jefferson was a political visionary and an early champion of democracy. So, if we cannot realistically realize the impact and scope of our reach, should he even worry about it. My answer is "yes." No reach can benefit without extension. As humans, we have a commitment to keep reaching out even in a perceived darkness of harvest and opportunity. Thanks to Virginia Reeves for her article "Traits of Effective, Respected, and Liked Leader" For a free subscription to her e-zine, click here. mailto:millionairemindset@GetResponse.com Here are some good traits of effective leaders who repeatedly reach their marks: (1) A respected and liked leader operates from a base of integrity and honesty. (2) Leaders find ways to create small wins for the team as this helps to motivate people to continue striving and achieving towards individual and group efforts. (3) A sense of humor helps keep the perspective - especially when times are tense or troubled. Let's face it, hardly anything in life can't be laughed at if you look for that element. (4) A good leader learns to listen attentively to what is said between the lines and for ferreting out what else needs to be brought out into the open. (5) Discovering the way someone processes their thoughts and how those turn into actions is a prime responsibility for an effective leader. (6) General H. Norman Schwarzkopf says, "Some of the best leadership lessons I learned as a young officer were from terrible officers. I mean, absolutely morally bankrupt officers who had no redeeming qualities." You learn how not to do it this way, and, therefore, how to do it. Just for fun, here is a list of the "Top Twenty Things That Will Impact Your Life" from childhood, teen years, to adulthood by CharandGary'sGab at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/228848/the_top_twenty_things_that_will_impact.html?cat=5 on May 7, 2007. This list is certainly not researched. It was an on-the-spot survey conducted among a few good friends. You probably have some very different ideas. Feel free to share. The Top Twenty Things That Will Impact Your Life. 1.) Your first day of school. 2.) Your first crush on a boy or girl. 3.) Your first romantic kiss. 4.) Your first win (sports, spelling bee, job interview, debate, graduation) 5.) Your first erection or your first period. 6.) Your first make out session an/or (big O). 7.) Your first day of your very first job. 8.) The first time you are fired, and or quit a job. 9.) Your wedding day. 10.) Your honeymoon. 11.) Your first major fight as man and wife. 12.) Your first bar, or night club experience. 13.) Your first drink. 14.) The first moment you find out you will become a parent. 15.) The moment you hold your first child. Or give birth to your first child. 16.) Your first major health issue or operation. 17.) Your first religious experience. 18.) When your parents or best friend dies. (first funeral) 19.) Holding your first grand child. 20.) Your first heart break.