Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts

Monday, June 15, 2009

Man As a Second-class Citizen

Are men in America quickly becoming second-class citizens? From the office to the marital bed, millions of men say feminism has turned them into second-class citizens. Viewed less than providers for wives and children, many men no longer have that sense of self in a family unit. They no longer share their forebears' sense of entitlement. Here are some some examples of change.

(1) 52 per cent of men believe they have to live by women's rules, and a staggering 82 per cent feel they have lost their traditional male role in society.

(2) For most men, this loss of control means feeling undervalued, their voices and opinions unheard.

(3) For the first time in history a majority of American women are not living with a spouse.

(4) At the end of last year, a survey revealed that 39 per cent of women who work full-time earn more than their partner. That means 1.8 million women in full-time work across the country now earn more than their partners.

(5) Women now often out-perform men financially and especially educationally.

(6) Role reversal in society coincided with a fundamental shift in the nature of work itself, as Western countries changed from labor-based to knowledge-based economies, thus eliminating the need for brawn and physical strength.

(7) Indeed, the new demands of the workplace, requiring multi-tasking and human interaction, positively favoring women over men.

(8) The modern world, which often forces new mothers back into the workplace within weeks of giving birth, and which sees the business of raising children as somehow "second class" has meant that neither men nor women now take the same sort of pride in being moms and dads.

(9) Men are portrayed as stupid and inferior to women in movies, television shows and commercials.

(10) If a woman tells a joke that insults men it's "all in good fun," whereas if a man tells a joke that's insulting towards women, he's a sexist woman hater.

(11) If a man gets a woman pregnant and she keeps the child, she receives child support for 18 years even if that man doesn't want to be a father. If the woman decides to give the baby away, however, the man has little or no say in the matter.

(12) No longer can a woman ( a professional career woman or a lesbian) who wants a baby but not a man use men as free sperm donors. In effect these women are stealing babies from fathers. If they really want this they will have to buy their sperm from a sperm bank where men have signed away their paternal rights. This prevents the woman from seeking child support from a man, who didn’t know he was a father, when the woman has financial problems.

(13) If a man cheats on his wife, she can divorce him and take his children away, allowing him to see them only on weekends (if he's lucky). If a woman cheats on a man, her husband can divorce her, and she gets to keep the kids and allow him to so see them only on weekends (if he's lucky).

(14) (Even if positive) the legitimacy of men’s monopoly of political and institutional power has weakened dramatically, upsetting the lines of power for many men.

(15) (Even if positive) Public alternatives to heterosexuality have emerged, and new (more unisex) images of alternative masculine identity are evident.

If the new roles of women are to work, then society needs a constructive understanding in the ways it needs the strengths of men, without leaving the doors open for a neo-fascist interpretation for the breakdown of the family and a macho backlash to role reversal. To be male-positive is to believe that men can change, to support efforts at positive change, to recognise the positive aspects of masculinity, and to be oriented towards enhancing men’s lives.

Monday, May 4, 2009

When Men Talk To a Lady

I think that many girls prefer a strikingly handsome, smooth talking man. I believe, however, that many great normal-looking guys are just not that good at making small talk with superficial conversation, nor are those great guys good at using conversation to "say all the things a girl wants to hear." In brief, I think women should let the typically nervous good man have ample time to express true loving and feelings and not necessarily expect him to instantaneously bloom with smitten romance. Fears of rejection often cause such men to watch attractive ladies from afar. Some, due to put-downs from others, figure the risk of a relationship is not worth the chance of being humiliated. Not the Hollywood hunk or confident tough, he resigns himself to silence. The intimidation factor also enters into initial conversations between the sexes. Most gentlemen do not wish initially to offend a lady, so they fear they are treading upon shaky ground since they assume a beautiful woman has been hit upon and "sweet talked" so many times by aggressive men. Men may understand that a pretty woman is sick of brass individuals, so they simply don't know what to say. Or, in fact, many men become nervous under a spell of beautiful attraction and quickly become tongue tied, losing any chance for mutual conversation. And, yes, most men are not adept at reading female body language as proof positive that a lady wants to be approached and wooed. I think most men look at dress much more than body language when sizing up a strange woman. This may be unfortunate and unfair as a first impression; however, I have heard comments about those who wear short skirts and tight sweaters many times. Men, especially average Joes, are fairly unobservant of small details. In addition, I believe that most men despise male "smooth operators" more for bragging about their conquests than for being successful with ladies. Many attractive men may give the impression that they possess sexual prowess as part of a false resume of egotism. Most good men hate to hear such crowing about any woman they respect. Braggadocio is empty, arrogant pretension and an affront to a fine woman. I think men still respect a girl who has limited sexual contact and good moral understandings. True male wolves could probably tell a person more about STD's than about sexual or romantic expertise. Why do so many men get jealous of their girlfriend's other male friends? I believe jealousy occurs because males are conditioned to protect their female interests, not to gladly accept open relationships. I have often said that playboys are two-faced lovers. They truly don't believe "what's good for the gander is good for the goose." Throughout the years, I have felt sad when I have known a great man who cannot master the skills needed to connect with good women. Though the difference in the way the sexes communicate is great, I can't help but feel some men just cannot overcome their fears of dating. And, for many women who can't find a decent gentleman for a companion, that fact is also very sad. So, I say, "Ladies, give the good guys equal opportunity. At first glance, don't always be impressed with his good looks and his suave behavior. Once a good man has your confidence, he may surprise you with hidden talents. In fact, you may surprise yourself that stereotypes can be very deceiving. Even your ideas of physical attraction may alter."