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Friday, March 11, 2011

Reaching Out For Help

Great numbers seek help. The beginning of assistance usually lies within the reach of these people. The key to receiving much needed help is taking the first steps of action. Without initiative, people in distress will remain in distress. In many the inertia needed to acquire support is lacking despite the constant praddle of desperation. In truth, no one or no thing in the environment can fuel needed action unless the person who suffers anguish wants to step away from complaining and step toward betterment.

Call it harsh reality or call it "the way it is." The way to feel relief is to maneuver the perceived minefield of resistance. Wouldn't it be nice to have solutions dropped at your feet, free for the taking, and requiring nothing other than your meek voice pleading "help." Here's a news flash: Nothing worth beans happens this easily in life. The amount of considerable alleviation is directly proportional to the amount of active, sustained participation taken. That's life. Period.

Sinatra sang it like this:

"I’ve been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race."

You say, "I'm in debt. My relationship is a bitch. My addiction is out of control." Do you realize that society offers help for most anything that inhibits your choice of seeking a better life? You who suffer must not only seek a solution but also take the necessary actions required by the solution that guarantee success.

The naysayers now react, "This is a lie because without money and special resources, it's useless for me to expect to find help."

Author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar would disagree. Mr. Ziglar says, "You are the only person on earth who can use your ability." It's such a simple statement loaded with so much "hit me between the eyes" truth. You eventually are responsible for you. Mom and dad, sister and brother, friends and acquaintances, politicians and legislators, puppet masters and charlatans -- no one can totally disengage your human will. When your will is strong, you can navigate the waters leading to the discovery of ability, even if the course is twisted and fraught with danger.

And, the nonbelievers now counter with this widely believed kernel of knowledge: "I have no abilities that anyone is willing to recognize."

Could that, in itself, reveal a certain lack of personal resources? Of course it could. True, an ability can be defined as "a natural gift or natural tendency to do something well." However, an ability is also "an acquired skill or talent" which requires you to be receptive to seeking your own capacity for such acquisition. Most of us have no idea of our inner abilities and our capacity for development. You see, it takes action to prove any degree of skill or talent. Those with the will usually find their initial expectations have been exceeded somewhere in the early actions they took. 

Then, the pessimistic choir sings this refrain: "But, it's who you know and not what you know that counts."

Undoubtedly, this thought process is a give up, stop working and accept your status methodology. Moreover, this type of thinking is not only unhealthy, it breeds jealously towards those who are successful. Look at the truth of the matter. People expect you to "bring something to the table." For example, in business unless you can make somebody money, they don't care if you're the son or daughter of royalty.

Think about this instead. "What you know" usually leads to "who you know" because associates and friends study, work, and gather together. Career expert Ken Sundheim says, "The answer is simple. Start subscribing to the attitude that it is who knows you and what can you do for them instead of the "it's who you know" frame of mind. ("It's Not About Who You Know, It's About Who Knows You,", February 7 2011)

Ken Sundheim relates that years ago, Barbara Walters asked Will Smith why he is so successful.  Being a kid from a tough area in Philadelphia, she was intrigued as to how he got as far as he has.  Smith answered that he had a "sickening work ethic." This speaks to the power of endurance and extra effort. Are you willing to make incredible sacrifices as you seek what you desire?

My heart bleeds for those seeking help, but, in reality, anyone who wants to help these people does them a disservice by assuring them a hand will grasp them and deliver them from their misery. Instead, I believe the hands are reaching out all around the needy, but without their movements, their struggles, and, eventually, their grasp of the outstretched forelimb, nothing will change. As harsh as this attitude seems, I believe it expresses the best method for assuring meaningful assistance. 

In short, nothing matters more than the will of the individual. That will may be strengthened or weakened by many factors, but it can only be defeated when the individual decides it is so. I fully believe this. The most handicapped person who possesses an indomitable will find ways to succeed and the help he desires.  Likewise, the most gifted individual without sufficient will soon self destructs.

A Hercules can condition his body until all its various parts are capable of enduring unbelievable physical challenges; a genius can be endowed with a brain that has the potential to unlock secrets of the universe; a drug addict can maim himself to the point of hanging onto a single thread of existence and then beg for deliverance. Hulk, brain, or junkie -- without the will and the action, none will reach their true ability. 
Let me end with the story of Wilma Rudolph, who died in 1995 of brain cancer at the age of 54. In her short time on earth, Wilma lived a full, purposeful, and triumphant life.

"Wilma Rudolph was born prematurely and weighed only 4.5 pounds. Most of her childhood was spent in St. Bethlehem, Tennessee. There, she was bedridden as she battled double pneumonia, scarlet fever and polio. At six years old, she lost the use of her left leg. Subsequently, she was fitted with leg braces. Later on in life, she was often quoted as saying: 'I spent most of my time trying to get them off. (I had an uncompromising resolve) to be a normal kid.'

"At the age of 16, when she was only a sophomore in high school, The 5' 11" Wilma Rudolph won a bronze medal at the Olympic Games in Melbourne, Australia. And, in the 1960 Rome Olympics, Rudolph became 'the fastest woman in the world.' She also was the first American woman to win three gold medals in one Olympics. She won the 100-and 200-meter races; and also anchored the U.S. team to victory in the 4 x 100-meter relay, breaking records along the way.

"Wilma Rudolph is remembered by family and admirers alike, for her incredible calm and graceful demeanor when under pressure. Valiantly and brilliantly, she removed all of her 'struggles' during the course of her lifetime. She once said: 'The most important aspect is to be yourself and have confidence in yourself ... triumph can't be had without a struggle.'" (Fran Briggs, "The Amazing Power of the Human Will,", 2011)

"Nothing can withstand the power of the human will if it is
willing to stake its very existence to the extent of its purpose."
-   Benjamin Disraeli   
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