It's not about the fix, the high, the thrill, the greed, the mountains of money. It's not about the good intentions, the grievous angel, the desire to kick the habit.
It's not about the pain, the withdrawal, the substitute addiction. It's not about sympathy, empathy, or blind trust.
Dependency works itself down to one thing - love.
It is really so simple. As human beings, we sooner or later recognize we are never bigger than love. Nothing hurts more than to be alienated from love and nothing provides us the need to live more than love. On the brink of disaster, we turn to love for the answer. We must possess it and give it to be saved.
That power of love overwhelms us all. Once applied and accepted, love turns the most savage individual into a malleable vessel overflowing with human kindness. The only cure for a soul lost in the heart of darkness is love properly applied.
We constantly deal with the emotion of love. Yet, most of us are not very skilled in the application nor in the reception of love.
Of course, we like to think we are masters of eros (erotic) love. This love usually occurs in the first stages of a man-woman "romantic" relationship. The weakness with this type of love is obvious. It is based more on "self-benefit," of what can benefit us rather than the other person.
And, many of us believe we understand philos love - a love based on friendship between two people. Undeniably, long-term friendships are wonderful relationships. Marriages are founded on this love as are important bonds with co-workers, employers, and trusted others.
But, the third and highest type of love is "agape," or unconditional love. So many have never considered its necessity. Agape love is above philos love and eros love. It is a love that is totally selfless, a love in which a person gives to another even if this act does not benefit her/him in any way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love (even without any self-benefit). It is imperative to understand that the highest type of agape love is not human at all, but divine - God's unconditional love for us, His children.
Love and Dependency
I believe the dependent person is lacking love. That lack of love may be within the person struggling with the addiction or it may be outside, some rip in the life net so essential for his/her human development. My best understanding is that, once repaired, love makes new lifelines. Consider the nagging dependent cries that follow:
* Why the hell am I doing this to myself? Lack of love.
* Why the hell am I doing this to the ones I care for most? Lack of love.
* Whey the hell can't I face my demons and free myself from bondage? Lack of love.
The biggest question for me is -- Who is ready to pursue the problem and help seed new love? Agape is a very difficult concept to put into action. Most dependent people, by definition, thrive on feeding upon others. To experience agape love, a person in the strong hold of addiction must change his/her trusted lifestyle. Those who would give agape to suffering dependents must stifle all feelings of hatred and abhorrence they have harbored for junkies and so-called lowlifes.
Love can and will conquer all. Unfortunately, the power of love is often denied. Some never catch the train and perish on the tracks. Please, understand, I am not talking about friends and lovers here. The higher power of love is unconditional. No drug, no human relationship, no manipulation of mankind will take its place. Agape is inherent in us all. If you suffer from hurt, seek it. If you care about others, offer it.
"Intense love does not measure, it just gives."