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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Huge Hooter Safety Hazard! Taping the Titanic Tatas

Some women are just too sexy
to go to work.

Lauren Odes, a buxom 29-year-old New Jersey woman, claims managers at Native Intimates, an intimate apparel shop in New York, pulled her aside and told her that the owner, who is an Orthodox Jew, had complained she was drawing attention to herself and she should not wear certain outfits for her own safety (including pencil skirts and three-inch heels).

Her supervisor told Odes "you are just too hot for this office. Maybe you should wear your boyfriend’s T-shirt and sweat pants.” She was also told to wear an alternate lipstick, even though Odes was wearing only clear lip balm.

Then, according to Odes,things only got worse. The following day, Odes wore a gray T-shirt over black leggings. She said the supervisor told her it wasn’t good enough for the owner. He allegedly suggested that she tape her breasts down to make them appear smaller.

The following day, Odes wore a black dress that fell to her knees, along with stockings and tall boots. The supervisor complained, handed her an oversized red bathrobe from a sample rack, and suggested she wear it over her clothes. Odes says she broke down crying and went across the street to buy a new sweater. While she was out, she says, her boss called her cell phone and fired her.

"It was very shocking, very humiliating," said Lauren Odes, who filed a gender and religious discrimination complaint against Native Intimates to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. "It was a crazy experience, unlike anything I've ever been through," she claimed.

Odes and her lawyer, Gloria Allred, said she spent one humiliating week in April at Native Intimates in the Fifth Avenue garment business. A temp agency had placed Odes there where she performed data entry and coordinate shipment of samples, according to Allred.

Odes told reporters at a press conference: “We should not be judged by the size of our breasts or the shape of our body” She added that her attire in a business selling “thongs with hearts placed in the female genital area and boys shorts for women that say 'hot' in the buttocks area" was entirely appropriate.

She was simply fired for being attractive and for not conforming to the religious strictures imposed by top management,” said her celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred.

Odes added: “I understand there are Orthodox Jewish men who may have their views about how a woman should dress.... I am Jewish as well and don’t feel any employer has the right to impose their religious beliefs on me.”

So... What's the True Beef?

* Are Lauren's clothes too revealing to wear in an intimate apparel shop?

* Are Lauren's covered breasts just too sexually enticing to be publicly exposed?

* Is a Higher Power ultimately responsible for selecting an appropriate wardrobe for a  voluptuous, natural creation?

* Are Lauren's coworkers paying too much attention to their surroundings and too little attention to their work?

Since they view this as a safety issue, is Native Intimates hiring horny employees with underwear obsessions?

* Does the company's slogan -- "Get Intimate with Native Intimates" -- only apply to customer satisfaction?

I don't "get it." I mean, the entire picture here seems so contradictory. Why would an intimate apparel shop fire a female employee on the basis of being too "hot"? Of all logical reasons for termination, did Lauren Odes really lose her job because of her dangerous attraction? Isn't Native Intimates in the lure of attraction business?

Did the company make Lauren aware of a fairly strict dress code before they hired her? Odes says, "When I first started working there, I asked what the dress code was, and I was just told to look around and see what everyone else was wearing. So I did. The dress was very casual athletic wear to business attire."

And, what kind of manager tells a woman to "tape down your breasts to make them look smaller"? I guess the manager believes unrestrained, large breasts have incredible powers to reduce men to leering, lustful boobs (sorry, couldn't resist the pun) -- slobbering sexual predators who can't resist clinging to mountainous cleavage. 

Maybe, just maybe, Native Intimates should look at some new trends to see what part of the anatomy is really "hot" today. 

Journalist Janelle Brown writes:

"The butt crack is the new cleavage
reclaimed to peek seductively from the pants
of supermodels and commoners alike....
It's naughty and slightly tawdry
 but with the soft round charm of a perfect pair of breasts." 

(Christopher Ryan, "Why Do Breasts Mesmerize?" Psychology Today, April 23 2010)

Brown says, "If your moon is waning, you can always don a "butt bra" from Bubbles Bodywear,  which promises to create the effect that's been turning male heads since before men existed. Like the Victorian bustle, the butt bra mimics the full curves of the ovulating chimp or bonobo. The company's slogan: "Take your Gluteus to the Maximus!"

So, if Native Intimates cares so much about the potential dangers of sexual energy and heat, maybe they should be carefully inspecting employees' clothes that highlight the posterior rather than the breasts. If the butt cleavage is covered, the problem is solved. That is, unless in the rationale of Native Intimates, the size of the buttocks is just too large -- then, the employee may have to invest in a box of industrial strength duct tape for the purposes of tightening the trunk.

Some "New Cleavage"

On Display.


My wife and I have had this argument over the years. She contends a big bust line gives a woman quite an advantage in the department of attracting males. On the other hand, I don't care for the overly buxom female anatomy. I think it's ridiculous that so many women are obsessed with getting implants to increase their bust size. In fact, I think some of these surgeries make women look like top-heavy, plastic Barbie dolls who need wheelbarrows to carry the load.

I, for one, am much more attracted to females who have other sexy physical assets. Not all men are mesmerized by big boobs. I'm not saying those ladies who possess large, natural breasts are unattractive: I am saying that boobs are not the "be all and end all" of feminine beauty. Eyes, complexion, lips, teeth, hair, skin, small breasts, legs, rear, even feet turn on many guys.

Now that I sound like a total dirty old fool, I better stop. Bottom line -- I don't know Lauren Odes. I've never seen her to witness firsthand her "hot" degree of upper body attraction. I have seen her photos, some of which I have included here. I can't see how she could be in danger by wearing the clothes in the photos. To me, she is fine and attractive. But, she probably wouldn't be my pick for a prom date. I believe whoever issued the warnings to her just may have been lusting a little though. Either that, or maybe the boss at Native Intimates is so wrapped up in sewing underwear that he or she doesn't get out of the office much.

 Native Intimates Punk Neon Pink Fishnet Lace Sheer Cheeky Boyshorts Panties
(One of their actual product photos.) 
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