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Saturday, November 2, 2013

My Lady's Butt -- Created Equal or Unproportional?

Strike me dead if most men are not attracted to a lady with a fine butt. I'm sorry if that statement seems sexist or overly direct; however, both men and women know it is true. Sweet butts are "big guns" in a woman's amazing, sexy arsenal, and displaying that bottom in the most complimentary blue jeans is a lethal combination of flesh, fashion, and fantasy.

Are more guys guilty of ogling a sexy woman's beautiful breasts or hot butts? I think that is an argument that will never be settled. But, this blog entry is about derrieres, not boobs.

Despite different opinions about which measurements and dimensions are ideal for the most attractive posteriors, one fact remains: a lady wearing great-fitting jeans that flatter her lovely tush creates a sight that stops men in their tracks and turns their heads for a second look.

So what do women understand about the best relationship between their butts and their jeans? It seems as if they are very picky about choosing the right fashion fit for the their various lower curves.

Research reports that more than half of women try on at least 10 pairs of jeans before finding one that fits.

In an effort to help women find the right jeans, Levi's introduced a "revolutionary custom-fit system" that involved taking 3-D images of 60,000 backsides to break down ladies' derrieres into three types: slight curve, demi curve, and bold curve.

Under the banner "All Asses Were Not Created Equal," the jeans company paid homage to Nike's sneaker customization engine by calling its approach Curve ID. Levi's says its breakthrough approach eschews size in favor of shape. And, they claim its butt-curve system works for 80 percent of women.

 Slight Curve

Demi Curve

                                                                                                          Bold Curve

The three fits of Levi Curve ID jeans are described as follows: "a slight curve (for the woman whose jeans 'fit in the hips and thighs but are too tight in the waist'), a demi curve (for the woman whose jeans 'usually fit in the waist but don't flatter the figure') and a bold curve (for the woman whose jeans 'fit in the hips and thighs, but gap in the back')."

 (Brian Morrissey. "Levi's Taking a Closer Look at Women's Butts." August 17, 2010)


Not all women are happy with Levi's campaign to fit their butts into these three "ass categories." Some ladies assume that Levi thinks some butts are simply better than others, and this judgment of not being "created equal" is discriminatory against larger feminine body frames.

These "plus" gals object to pigeonholing rumps on the basis of such minute curves. Critics say just look at the models used by Levi to understand their point: the models are all very thin and fairly shapeless. In fact, they all have narrow waists and “average” a size 2 -- a far cry from the actual average, which is about a 14.

Size 14 Jeans

Other females say Levi is not sensitive to world culture and varying standards of beautiful bottoms. They say, in particular, Afro-American and Latina women have always struggled with the same issue in finding jeans to fit their waist and butt at the same time without having to spend more time and money on alterations. They are not satisfied that the three "curves" properly fit their more curvy, bodacious  butts. These ladies believe "All Asses Were Not Created Equal" does not address the standard of backside measurements prominent in solving their problems.



We confess that we men are just pawns in your game of sexual attraction. We are fascinated by your beautiful butts and morph into giddy, bumbling juveniles upon seeing your booties packed in Levi's or other jeans of choice. Small, medium, large -- all hot butts have the potential to draw our extended views and our raves of approval. So, I tend to believe that the "equality of asses," like any judgment of beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. Beautiful butts are bountiful blessings of life. If this sounds creepy or "out of bounds," I apologize for telling the truth as I know it from many male admirers.

Mea Culpa, my friends.

And, since the blog today is about a particularly sensitive part of a woman's anatomy, it is appropriate to close with a view of the irresistible feminine tush from a woman's point of view. Here is Denise Duhamel's poem:

"Ode to the Other Woman's Ass"

 Denise Duhamel

You have occupied my husband’s imagination
when he otherwise might have been bored.
You gave him pretty shapes to behold
at the mall, in the supermarket, when he peered
from behind his Newsweek at the airport.
Oh thong-wearer, the strings rising
from your crack like bird’s wings in flight.
Oh pencil skirt, snug jeans, short shorts,
bikini bottoms, capris and the circles
they contain.  Oh billboard buttocks,
magazine tushes, movie star derrières.
Oh porno fannies, soft core rumps,
the heinies of whores, the gluteus maximus
of the girl-next-door.
                              Oh Asses of Other Women,
our relationship, I know, has not been one of ease.
For years I feared you, feared that my husband
would follow your wiggle and leave me
for your high-branch peach, your airbrushed apple.
I also feared the eyes of your men, their animal glances,
their whistles when you were not with them.
I have put up with their flirting, as I hope you put up
with my husband’s.  If you are like me, I know you will not
always like it, but on a bad day it can almost be welcome,
remind you of what can sometimes be lost
in a long marriage.
                            Oh Asses of Other Women,
you are beautiful, with or without a stranger’s validation.
You know that, and your men know it too.
Yet, if you are feeling kind,
please ask the face attached to you
to humor my husband with a smile
should he look up to find eyes
and when your husband looks my way
I will try to do the same.

from Ecotone Journal

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