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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Pelvage Is the New Cleavage Sensation

 Kendall Jenner and Pelvage

Are you ready for "pelvage"? No, this is not an Elvis Presley imitator or a new form of plastic surgery. Pelvage is the cleavage of the pelvis, and it has created the new provocative fashion trend that is sweeping the red carpet of the awards shows -- slits that go up -- all the way up to the pelvis, revealing more skin than those embarrassing hospital gowns.

Pelvises are the new plunging necklines. It makes one wonder how much more skin starlets can reveal before they risk indecent exposure. Not that they would necessary care.

Brittney Levine, style and trend expert, says, "This trend is a very hard trend to pull off. If you're not comfortable with your body and putting it out there, I do not recommend wearing this trend."

Duh, I would call that an understatement. And, I believe only a certain long, curvy body type would dare risk revealing all that skin.

Keke Palmer and her Pelvage Thing

In fact, the fashion experts agree that pelvage adverturers need double-sided tape to avoid a major wardrobe malfunction. Some of the pelvage fashions certainly would not lend themselves to sitting down -- hell, the air would be filled with a barrage of tape residue flying in all directions.

According to Sheila Aimette, Vice President of North American Content for fashion forecasting outfit WGSN, the modest had better avert their eyes as celebrities continue to push against propriety. "Bad press is better than no press," Aimette said. "The red carpet now essentially has become a runway to shock and provoke."

(Mattie Kahn. "Hot Trend Alert: Celebrities Flaunt ‘Pelvage’ on the Red Carpet."
ABC News. July 2, 2014)

The pelvage fashions certainly do provoke. They tend to reveal almost as much female territory as a bikini although with more fabric strategically arranged for the sensual assault. Whatever is on the runways is sure to make the clubs and proms of the near future -- women and girls are more comfortable than ever being on semi-nude public display.

Naturally, if you are a woman with an ever-popular pelvic tattoo and you are a bit of an exhibitionist, pelvage serves the double purpose of showing off your sexy body and displaying your expensive body art. Now that pelvage is considered fashion and not just cheap, risque overexposure, I'm sure the tattoo artists are smiling all the way to the bank.

How do most men feel about the bared pelvage? I'm pretty sure they don't mind at all. Any chance to peek at once-forbidden regions of the female anatomy ignite male attention. Yes, ladies, we men are pigs with one small and one larger brain. Attractive hips have always been "hip," whether we are speaking about fashion like '60s hip-hugger jeans or "song and dance" like the oft-covered "Hippy Hippy Shake" written by Chan Romero in 1959.

"Well now you shake it to the left... you shake it to the right,
You do the hippy shake shake... with all of your might... oh baby,
Yeahhh, come on and shake... awww, it's in the bag,
Oooh, the hippy hippy shake..."

"Hippy Hippy Shake" by the Swingin' Bluejeans

Hip Hugger of the Past

Sevyn Streeter

Psychologists can even verify the attraction in scientific terms. Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. explains...

"Males are naturally attracted to mates in order to maximize the number of offspring produced. The focus is on women’s youth, health, and fertility as shown by physical features. Because body type is a reliable indicator of health and fertility, men are more attracted to women with a lower waist-to-hip (WHR) ratio and an average body mass index (BMI), neither thin nor plump, because these are associated with youth and sexual maturity.

"During puberty, females produce more estrogen which creates a gynoid body type (fat is deposited on hips, buttocks, and breasts, which creates a smaller-appearing waist relative to the hips). Moreover, despite the common belief that larger breasts are more attractive, it is really the size of the breasts in proportion to the hips, creating the classic “hourglass” figure."

(Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. "Which Body Shapes Are Most Sexually Attractive." 
Psychology Today. July 12, 2012)

Not too long ago I had heard that the butt crack was the new cleavage. Now, with boob chasms and butt separations and the latest pelvage displays, I think only one cleft is left in the shadows. I wonder how long before the ladies will sport vajayjay valleys as fashionable territory. Who knows, maybe they already have. After all, I am just one old guy googling and oogling what the news offers for my entertainment.

Right now camel toe revelation remains illegal in public, and "the ultimate 'V'" is pretty much covered and accentuated by super tight fabric, be it squeezed into jeans, into underwear, or into tight spandex; however, who knows what cultural and fashionable changes lie ahead. Someone is always reading "to stretch the envelope," as they say, and this is the one envelope that just may represent the Greatest Frontier -- the cleavage of the vagina.

Camel Toe on Display

So, fashion gods, continue to tease us with cleavage -- that's your job: to display the meat of your trade as appetizing as possible on the verge of being too raw and too gross. Beauty? I don't think modern fashion cares that much about pushing innocent, beautiful design. It's all about more skin and sexy dermis exaltation, especially exposing hot, erotic zones. Boobs and asses and pelvises and ... you know the hidden crevices that must be next.

Just remember, you flesh-baring fashonistas, mystery is the most powerful aphrodisiac. Too much is literally "too much." But, I am just a pig, so what do I know?

She Walks In Beauty  
by Lord Byron
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Natural and Sweet Innocence
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