American Pop Culture and World Opinion

Although much global distrust of American leadership is reflected in increasing disapproval of the U.S. foreign policy, American pop culture is also a culprit of blame. Beginnings of popular American culture can be traced back to the early 1900's with daily exposure to radio and print. The biggest change in pop culture occurred between the 50s and the 70s, marking the beginning of the most influential years of wide spread distribution of the pop phenomenon. Now, the Internet and computers have skyrocketed access to pop. American popular culture is not the beacon of freedom to those in closed societies it once was. It has become a glut on the market as a U.S. ambassador to the world without cultural diplomacy. The prolific producers of trash enjoy the same freedom as American artists. And many of the people worldwide now attracted - and repulsed - by the trash do not share the same ideal of expressive freedom. The United States remains broadly disliked in most countries surveyed, and the opinion of the American people is not as positive as it once was. Martha Bayles says, "I agree that popular culture presents a distorted image of American way of life: there is very little in pop culture about compassion of Americans, patriotism, and family oriented values. However I find it natural that in our politically correct and law obedient society, popular art searches for expression of darker, suppressed sides of human nature." (Martha Bayles, Washington Post, August 28 2005) Some Negative Effects? People like Bill Stephney, co-founder of the rap group Public Enemy, have raised concerns about the normalization of crime and prostitution in gangsta and "crunk" rap. And in April 2005, the Pew Research Center reported that "roughly six-in-ten [Americans] say they are very concerned over what children see or hear on TV (61%), in music lyrics (61%), video games (60%) and movies (56%)." Representatives Advisory Group on Public Diplomacy for the Arab and Muslim World stated that "Arabs and Muslims are . . . bombarded with American sitcoms, violent films, and other entertainment, much of which distorts the perceptions of viewers." The depiction of Americans in media content as violent, of American women as sexually immoral and of many Americans engaging in criminal acts has brought many youthful subjects in a recent survey to hold generally negative attitudes toward people who live in the United States. (Melvin and Margaret DeFleur, Louisiana State University, 2003 poll of teenagers in 12 countries) Pop culture has a negative effect on American adolescent women relating to their physical appearance, educational goals and view on relationships with men. It seems that most of the negative effects of pop culture are on young girls. As they watch celebrities on TV and see them in magazines, it makes most of them feel like they have to be just like them. (Jennifer Hawk,“The Negative Effects Pop Culture has on Adolescent Women”) This model of perfection idolatry by Americans has produced ill feelings in many other cultures. Solutions to the Problem? The solution to this problem of negativity in pop culture is far from clear. Most agree censorship is not the answer. But, a stronger awareness and concern of what popular culture is teaching the world about America is sorely needed. Equal time for the portrayal of positive values and practices might begin to sway opinion. And, the knowledge that freedom is self-correcting -- that Americans have not only liberty but also a civilization worthy of liberty -- should be shared with the world.

Celebrity: What Is It?

Angelina Jolie

Celebrity is a term of status based upon a person's desire to be to be notable. and particularly in Western culture, a celebrity is an extroverted individual who seeks media attention. A celebrity is famously recognized in society by terms such as household name or superstar. Another categorization of celebrity status is the A-list, based on marketability of celebrities. For example, Will Smith, Johnny Depp, and Brad Pitt are currently very bankable members of the list of major movie stars. Still, one's profession, beauty, infamy, or just fate can create celebrity status. Brad Pitt A reluctant celebrity seeks a very private life and attempts to keep away from the public eye. However, those in the spotlight often suffer the humiliation and disgrace of having statements about them - true or untrue - broadcast for millions to find. The extent and quality of celebrity news in the media appear to be poor, multiplying at such a rate that "legitimate" news has fallen in precedence. Bruce Springsteen At the other end of the spectrum, a celebrity that seeks out publicity for him, or herself, is often called a media tart, whereas one that uses his or her private life as a vehicle for enhanced celebrity status, sometimes desperately, is referred to as a media whore. Scandal, faked or real relationships, nudity-- all can be tools of the media tart. Jennifer Aniston Today, an unquenchable public desire and fascination for celebrity gossip about exists. Gossip columnists, tabloid papers, celebrity blogging, entertainment channels, and paparazzi are familiar fixtures in spreading news about famous people. Professions most likely to produce celebrities are television and movie actors, politicians, national news reporters, television hosts, supermodels, athletes, and musicians. Very few humanitarians (Mother Teresa being one notable exception) make the celebrity grade. Kobe Bryant Author Bob Greene's article “The New Stardom That Doesn't Require Paying Any Dues,” argues for “most of man's history...people of talent would work to create something--something written, something painted, something sculpted, something acted out--and it would be passed on to audiences.” With the rise of reality TV shows, Greene points out audiences have been turned into the creators. He argues the “alleged stars of the reality shows "Survivor" and "Big Brother" have become famous not for doing, but merely for being.” (Jewish World Review, September 14, 2000.) Greene goes on to point out that celebrity now means just being present in "the right place at the right time." Madonna Of course, some believe that true fame (almost unknown before the 20th Century), not necessarily celebrity, is granted to those who reach the global mass media. Clive James, an Australian writer, contends society now has the phenomenon of people who are "famous for being famous." Such instantaneous fame is now easily marketed by the paparazzi on a daily basis. Scholars contend mainstream media content of the famous is most likely increasing in sensationalism due to competition with celebrity news sources, particularly those online. Oprah Winfrey A 2008 survey for the Association of (English) Teachers and Lecturers (ATL) reported in BBC News found some 60% of teachers said their pupils most aspired to be David Beckham, English footballer. The same survey revealed that more than third of the pupils wanted to be famous for the sake of being famous, and some 32% of the 304 teachers quizzed said their pupils modelled themselves on heiress Paris Hilton. Do celebrities have an obligation to be positive role models for young adults? Does the media have an obligation to report fewer stories of the infamous? Beyonce Knowles And, everyone is familiar with Andy Warhol's phrase "15 minutes of fame" as a route to celebrity. These “celebs” are the nobodies, turned somebodies, and are often turned into notable people based on the ridiculous things they do. Are some celebrities just regular people living their lives under a microscope of sensational behavior? Stephen Spielberg The cult of celebrity is often seen as shallow, and deeper academic research can be very useful in understanding why celebrities fascinate the public and why so many people desperately want to pursue the limelight and aim to become celebrities themselves. Tiger Woods "An overwhelming majority of the public (87%) says celebrity scandals receive too much news coverage. This criticism generally holds across most major demographic and political groups. Virtually no one thinks there is too little coverage of celebrity scandals," according to new national survey by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press. (August 2, 2007) Here are some statistics found in the study when the public was asked "Who's to blame for the amount of coverage these stories receive?" There is some indication that celebrity may be waning. For example, advertising may have reached a crossroads where over-exposed celebrities have saturated the market. According to a post in a recent researchandmarkets.com entry, the concept of celebrity has transcended attachment to individual people and become attached in some cases to actual products. For example, personal technology has become dominated by products that have effectively achieved celebrity status themselves, so actual celebrity endorsement is not even necessary. The product, itself, is the celebrity. Jessica Hahn And, yet even as the world economy melts down, scholarly publishers have identified at least one new growth industry: the study of celebrity. Insight into the status of fame is giving new insights into the phenomena.

In a new, positive slant on celebrity, the Routledge empire, founded in 1836, leads the way in promoting many academics to become celebrities. Its website explains: “We have published many of [the] greatest thinkers and scholars of the last 100 years, including Adorno, Einstein, Russell, Popper, Wittgenstein, Jung, Bohm, Hayek, McLuhan, Marcuse and Sartre.”

This November, the company will publish a four-volume, 1,600-page book called Celebrity- “destined to be valued by scholars, students and researchers as a vital research resource." It explains why: “The study of celebrity has developed and cohered into a flourishing field of social and cultural analysis.” (Marc Abrahams, The Guardian, "The Fame Game," February 2009)

The book's editor, Chris Rojek, defines three academically recognised categories of celebrities - ascribed, achieved and attributed. And, he also creates two new categories: celetoids and celeactors. Celetoids are "lottery winners, stalkers, one-hit wonders" and the like. Celeactors are fictional characters such as James Bond, Carrie Bradshaw and Ali G. Both concepts were quickly adopted by other scholars in the field.

Just for fun, here is Forbe's list of "Top 100 Most Powerful Celebrities" for 2009 in numerical order. The list is based on media exposure and career earnings for the last year.

1. Angelina Jolie

2. Oprah Winfrey

3. Madonna

4. Beyonce

5. Tiger Woods

6. Bruce Springsteen

7. Steven Spielberg

8. Brad Pitt

9. Jennifer Aniston

10. Kobe Bryant

Octomom Nadya Suleman

Valley High School Class of 1969

I really enjoyed attending the Valley Alumni Banquet and our 40th class reunion. All my classmates who attended looked great, and we took time to get reacquainted with genuine interest. I tried to talk with everyone from the class, but I really didn't have enough time to make all the rounds.

Having been a teacher at Valley High for twenty-seven years, I also found many of my ex-students in attendance, so I also enjoyed chatting with them. The evening passed too quickly as we relived stories and caught up on our time spent apart.

I found myself kicking right back into the secure feeling I had always felt with my classmates. Here were old friends who had a lot in common forty years before and still the bonds seemed tight. A little nervous at first, I quickly found confidence in the fact that despite the miles between us now, we still maintain a special closeness of heart. Laughter and memories of the behavior of the past echoed again in our old high school gymnasium. Some friendly ghosts of the past were surely in attendance -- how we miss those departed souls. I had a great time. I believe all my classmates did too.

I noticed a few things about our class that I think contribute to our cohesion. First of all, we have so many unique people in our group. Personalities of these individuals are vastly different, yet these differences all play a role in the unit. This pooling of personality makes the class depend upon every one's talents and resources to complete the team. It seems we, as a class, learned this very early-- the class was only as good as all of us wanted it to be, and we worked together for the betterment of the class. In other words, all the people took pride in caring for each other to elevate the common good. The sincere love and care still exist.

Secondly, our class is very social. We seem to dispense of the formality some groups feel required to show. People in our class want to identify with activities and interactions in informal ways. I really believe no one in the class feels threatened by such close interactions. If anything, we seek the "togetherness" of a close-knit family. Some would say the times and history of the '60s contributed to that comradeship, and perhaps it did. We know we maturated at a very important yet turbulent time, and we know someone had and still has "our back" in times of trouble. A spirit of kindness and generosity was laid years ago and continues to be genuinely felt as classmates "reach out."

Lastly, I guess the best word to describe an attitude that lingers is confidence. Granted, sometimes we can be a little cocky, but we don't always brag about our class: we simply feel it was one of the best classes, not just as individuals but as a group, to graduate from Valley Schools. That confidence generates pride to the point that we consider many of our under-classmates honorary members of the class of '69. In our own way, we still try to be big brothers and big sisters of these people. We knew we were an ornery class in school, yet we knew the limitations of fun. We cut through cliques and prejudices to make us stronger. I feel our positive confidence helps mold present attitudes toward the value of change through outstanding cooperation.

May the spirit and love of the class live on. No one is trying to bring back the past; however, reflections allow us to celebrate what were certainly wonderful times of forty plus years ago. For one night, my belief in togetherness returned. Again, we walked the halls that meant so much to us, and once more we became the seniors of 1969 at the ripe old age of 58.

The Insatiable Queens of Dramatic Presentation

Conflicts and disappointments are natural side effects of the human existence. But, what about those who seem to make every little problem a major setback that triggers huge emotional outbursts and other irrational behaviors. Today, we call this species a drama queen.

Although they may occasionally add a welcome splash of color to a black-and-white scene, drama queens' insatiable hunger for attention can look a lot like arrested development. A drama queen often views the world in absolutes, and only has two settings on her emotional control button: zero and ten.
And, she can push the full-speed-ahead "10" button with skill and egotistical panache.

Psychologists might describe drama queens (male version = "kings") as neurotic personalities with histrionic tendencies, meaning they tend to become needlessly dramatic whenever order is disrupted. "They tend to exaggerate their thoughts and feelings, making everything sound more important than it really is," says Sheri Spirt, an assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU Medical Center.  

Scarlett O'Hara in Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind is a fictional model of such a self-absorbed drama queen. She assigns who she considers lesser humans to take care of her personal needs. Outgoing and sociable, Scarlett considers solitude her worst enemy.

 
 
Diva might be another term to describe the drama queen. Divas, by definition, are high-performing, high-maintenance narcissists. Some are actually spirited, fun, and mentally healthy while others are others are needy, demanding, negative -- and talk almost incessantly about themselves. Researchers say these are "unhealthy divas" and the source of their narcissism usually is low self-esteem: They are constantly trying to pump themselves up.

Though usually considered exceptionally talented, the diva is a perfectionist prone to sudden demands and violent outbursts just like drama queens. As divas consider people as either with them or against them, they are often jealous and even envious of others. 

Drama queens may develop at a young age. Parents are often at a loss about how to deal with their behavior. "Some parents choose to acquiesce to a drama queen rather than provoke the inevitable tantrum or histrionic outburst. By confronting the would-be drama queen's selfish behavior directly, however, parents can demonstrate that a child's demanding or manipulative personality is not enough to force them into doing anything. A young drama queen's worst fear is to be ignored or become powerless over others." (www.wisegeek.com) 

Young drama queens tend to be unaware of their real feelings, usually overly concerned with physical attractiveness. From an early age they begin to dress in a sexually seductive manner to be the center of attention. Inappropriate flirtatious behavior may also be present. With or without awareness, they often use their attractiveness to achieve other goals or wishes. In time, self-promotion of their sexy bodies and artificial adornments take precedence over much-needed refinement of positive personality traits, ethical behaviors, and development of true skills. 





As drama queens age, their interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior. This may help them make friends easily, but when their friends learn that the queens only think about themselves, they have trouble maintaining any kind of intimate relationship. 

Queens relish the spotlight, considering any attention advantageous for them. It is likely that their need for attention is inversely proportional to emotional maturity; therefore, queens indulging in attention-seeking behaviors are actually telling others how emotionally immature they are.

Divas and drama queens often exhibit bullying behaviors, especially manipulation and deception. Ellen McGrath, a clinical psychologist, reports that queens and divas may feel better temporarily after an outburst, but leaving everyone else off-kilter is not an effective way to get their needs met, nor will it strengthen their connections to others. Their audience tends to get angry with their outbursts or even shut down completely when confronted with their dramatic demands.

Sheri Spirt says, "Like the boy who cried wolf, after a while they become hard to take seriously." So the queens get to say, "See the world is a cruel place filled with cruel people" and feel somehow vindicated by their bad behavior. This vicious cycle continues as it feeds from poorly conceived  justification.

 (Jennifer Magid, "Field Guide to the Drama Queen," Psychology Today, September 01 2007)

Problems usually arise for drama queens in the workplace too because their exaggerated emotions bother other employees, stir up competitive and jealous feelings. Most queens have good social skills at work, but they have the tendency to use these skills to manipulate others in order to become the center of attention at other people's expense. They do not think before they act. This, in turn, leads to excessive controversy among employees as the queens make overblown promises and produce incomplete assignments.

Here are some suggestions for stemming drama queen behavior from Angela S. Young and www.answerbag.com:

 1. Give teenage drama queens some space, but put the brakes on to their dramatic reactions over simple incidents. 

2. Refuse to give attention to outbursts from drama queens, instead very calmly send them to their room where they can’t put on a performance for anyone but themselves. 

 3. If drama queens are not teens, but your girlfriends, boyfriends or spouse, attempt using discussion. Be prepared for highly dramatic reactions but don’t follow suit. Remain calm and prepare yourself for three tries at explaining the problem. 

4. When drama queens break things in a rage, do not, under any circumstances, replace the items that are destroyed. This only excuses and encourages such behavior. 

 5. Remind drama queens that you love them deeply, but lack of planning on their part does NOT constitute an emergency on your part. 

6. Tell drama queens, "I would love to listen to you, but I can't when you're like this. When you're ready to talk to me like a normal person, I'll be ready to listen to you." 

Opening Day Genesis

BY GLENN BIRKEMEIER

- - - -

"In the big inning, God created Heaven on Earth. And it was without form, and void. God separated the dirt from the grass. He called the grass Outfield and the dirt He called Infield. God made the Infield a 90-foot square and the Outfield not less than 400 feet to center and 320 feet down the lines. He declared this Fair Territory. All other territory, God then declared, was Foul.

"And God divided the players into two teams of nine players each, under direction of a manager, to play The Game on His field. God called some of these players Pitchers and some of them Hitters. He placed a Pitcher precisely 60 feet 6 inches from a Hitter. Then God commanded that it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the ol' Ballgame.

"And God granted jurisdiction of The Game to lesser Gods, whom He called Umpires. God said the Umpires are infallible, blessed with Heavenly authority, whose judgment is not to be questioned under penalty of expulsion from The Game. And God looked at his creation and He was pleased. Then God created the Infield Fly Rule to confuse nonbelievers.

"And God said, Let there be light beer, and there was. And, God said, let there be peanuts and hot dogs and overpriced souvenirs and let there be frosty chocolate malts with little wooden spoons that you can buy nowhere else except at this Heaven, which God called a Ballpark, and there was. God looked at His creation and it was good.

"And the Lord God formed, from the dust, a collection of elite players in His own image. The Lord God then breathed the breath of life into His creation. God called this creation the National League.

"And God said, It is not good for the National League to be alone. The Lord God shall make it a mate. And thus, while the National League slept, God took several of its top players and created the American League.

"And God blessed The Game, saying, Be fruitful and multiply. Put teams in every city with deserving fans, God added, even if this occurs at the expense of starting-pitching depth.

"From time to time, God understood, The Game would be corrupted by the Serpent. The Serpent was more cunning than any other beast and he would take many wicked forms: the Black Sox, segregation, the Designated Hitter, the Reserve Clause, dead balls, juiced balls, spit balls, corked bats, George Steinbrenner, AstroTurf, the 1981 strike, collusion, lockouts, Pete Rose, the 1994 strike, greenies, cocaine, HGH, Andro, steroids, $20 parking, corporate mallparks, Scott Boras, Donald Fehr, and Bud Selig.

"But, God said, the goodness in The Game shall always prevail. As needed, the Lord shall bestow upon The Game a Savior. And the Savior, like the Serpent, can take many forms. The Savior shall remind Fans how blessed The Game truly is. The Savior shall be called by many names, including Cy, Matty, Honus, Big Train, the Babe, Wrigley Field, Fenway Park, Lou Gehrig, Branch Rickey, Jackie Robinson, Buck O'Neil, Hank Greenberg, Red Barber, Harry Carey, Vin Scully, Jack Buck, Satchel Paige, Bill Veeck, Roberto Clemente, Ernie Banks, Hammerin' Hank, Cool Papa, Dizzy, Lefty, Whitey, Stan the Man, Big Klu, the Say Hey Kid, Campy, Duke, the Mick, the Splendid Splinter, the Gas House Gang, the Big Red Machine, the Damn Yankees, Pudge Fisk, Pudge Rodriguez, Yaz, Pops, the Wizard of Oz, Fernando, George Brett, Moonlight Graham, Roy Hobbs, Wild Thing Vaughn, Bingo Long, the Ryan Express, Donnie Baseball, Rickey, Eck, the Big Unit, the Cactus League, Cal Ripken, Tony Gwynn, Camden Yards, Rotisserie Drafts, Web Gems, Derek Jeter, Dontrelle Willis, Vlad Guerrero, and, from the Far East, Ichiro. And, God guaranteed, there are many more to come.

"God looked upon His creation and He was very pleased. And God spoke, yelling, PLAY BALL!"

Page: (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/4/7birkemeier.html) Home: (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/)

I thought this post was so good that I included it here. Please give all credit to the author, Timothy McSweeney. The site is Undercelebrated the Return of His Prodigal Sock, and the Other Ones Never Came Back.

Friendships

Friendship has been something I have taken for granted. Circles of friends have been a part of my life since very early days when I entered organizations such as the Cub Scouts or structured environments like school. Making many friends proved neither complicated nor difficult as I progressed through the years. As an extrovert, I enjoyed the opportunities of serving leadership positions in curricular and extracurricular activities. I was president of my high school class for four years and voted "best all-around" senior superlative. The number of my close acquaintances buoyed my confidence and, of course, fed my ego. I treasured my relationships with my old friends, and I still do. My circle of friends has grown smaller due to various reasons including distance, obligations, maturation, and death. Luckily, new friends stood in place of old friends who were pursuing their own careers, making their own families, and finding their own destinies. Friendships have remained an important part of my life as I travel my own road of turns and twists. Throughout my years I have never really stopped to consider how to make new friends. Though this process may seem frightening to others, the engagements seemed natural to me. Friends inherently grew out of living my life as I stepped into new situations and new surroundings. True, I have tried to be outgoing and accepting of others, but most people share these general qualities. I just never worried about popularity. Recently, I have used time and distance to add perspective to my view of friendship. Reality has marked a definite degeneration of friendship in my life. I find myself turned inward as I age. Certainly, some self-imposed isolation and stubborn disagreement have contributed to loss of friendships. And, I suppose, everyone, to a certain extent, deals with these misfortunes. Just, for some people used to the adornment, the drop seems very profound. As I mature, I fine fewer opportunities for forming and reciprocating friendships. Other than my own personal attributes contributing to the decline of my loss of friends, I have found a general trend in society for fewer close relationships. According to a 2006 study documented in the journal the American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1985. The study states 25% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from four to two. Although the same study found there is more dependence on family (57%-80%) and spouse (5%-9%), research has found a link between fewer friendships (especially in quality) and psychological and physiological regression. One opinion is that fear of being, or being seen as, homosexual has killed off western man's ability to form close friendships with other men. (Doi Takeo, psychologist; Henning Bech, sociologist; and others) This fear seems to be an underlying cause of fewer man to man friendships. Don O'Meara, Ph.D., identifies the following challenges to male-female friendship: defining it, dealing with sexual attraction, seeing each other as equals, facing people's responses to the relationship and meeting in the first place. Society views that almost every time you see a male-female friendship, it winds up turning into romance. O'Meara disagrees that male-female friendships are always romantic. Likewise, Linda Sapadin, psychologist states, "The belief that men and women can't be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance." Some believe that in the absence of modern social and commercial pressures, male-female friendship would be complementary rather than divisive. According to George Elliot "Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words." I think that giving a friend the benefit of a doubt has become much harder for most people. Unconditional, mutual respect often seems absent in friendships today. Possibly, like young children, we choose some wrong peers or lack socialization and this causes distrust. In children, we know this can lead to severe psychological traumas and disorders, finally leading to social maladjustment. Perhaps, as we age, we should realize that the same maladjustment can result at any stage in life. I am certain that friendships are as important to the older person as the youngster. We tend to become callous and indifferent as we limit our socialization. Experience and society often whisper words of distrust in our aging ears: we listen and react accordingly. The meaning of friendship lies within our hearts because true friendship can only be felt, and not expressed in fifty words or less. Something so pure and essential is not always visible to the eye, but is felt by the heart.

Allure of Actresses

Marilyn Monroe Many actresses of today depend upon their raw sex appeal to propel them into the spotlight and ignite the adoration of millions of fans. No doubt, these beauties attract attention and acclaim with their fabulous physical attributes often featured in nude, steamy sex scenes. Sex goddess status demands meeting the public view of stunning fleshly perfection. And, many of these beautiful women are brilliant actresses who merely use their bodies as assets to the art. Ava Gardner As attractive as the desirable body may be, one quality of beauty and enticement that seems almost indefinable is allure. This term entails a charming and glamorous seductive quality enhanced through physical elegance. Vivian Leigh Film actresses of long ago, often because of strictly censored sexual content regulations, had to develop their goddess appeal without explicit nudity and steamy bedroom scenes. Yet, the alluring qualities of these actresses made them no less desirable than the starlets of today. In fact, many would claim these women through revealing less, actually enticed more. Syd Charisse Allure has to involve sensual (not merely sexual) mystery and behavioral beauty. Also, many note allure has a something to do with imperfections. In other words, a physical imperfection in an otherwise beautiful woman adds to her allure. For example: one very alluring actress, Ava Gardner, had shoulders much too wide and legs much too short, but she had allure with a capital A. Rita Hayworth Self assured women have seemingly ideal feminine qualities, traits and attributes. These alluring women have self images that are are not affected by their competition, and they will not even discuss these things in groups. Their self confidence exudes calm sexiness. She has nothing to do with "bitch" or "hater" qualities so boldly used to challenge others with an "in-your-face" attitude of domination. Women with allure are subtle and secure within themselves. Liz Taylor Most would agree that alluring women know how to flirt in a chaste manner while batting eye lashes, flipping hair, and making a man feel that "he's a man among men." The word coy may describe alluring flirtation. These women are more kittenish than catty, more evasive and unassertive than viperous. Grace Kelly Most importantly, the quality of allure isn't just from makeup, hair, or curvy bodies. The sexy allure stems from the brain. "It generates fantasy, devises seduction routines, and is aroused by sight, scent, and smell," says Vivienne Parry, science editor of the British edition of Good Housekeeping. Greta Garbo Bridget Bardot Nina Rae McKenny Rita Moreno Hedy Lamarr

The Big 40th Reunion

Saturday will be my 40th Class Reunion. The event brings back many fond memories of friends, activities, and antics that I shared with my classmates. High school was like a big old ice cream cone to me: it was a cool, smooth treat that brought a smile to my face and left a lingering good taste in my mouth.

Sure, going to high school presented some problems, but I even cherish those difficulties as essential learning experiences. Our class numbered around 90 members, and, by graduation, most of us knew each other pretty well. I can't remember a time when something interesting wasn't going on, even in our little town. We matured quite a bit together, probably not enough, but good fun and comradeship was the order of each day.

Then, the party ended as suddenly as it had begun-- people went away to college, left town for employment, got married, and served in the military. In other words, everybody started walking different paths instead of collectively walking the halls of Valley High School. No longer did we have a guaranteed congregation of friends in our daily lives. My circle of good friends shrunk, literally, overnight. By the end of the summer after graduation, most of the class became ghosts of my past.
Reality bit pretty hard in the fall of 1969 when I entered college. I turned the page to this new chapter of life with considerable regret.

The thought of seeing my classmates again is both sweet and bitter. Our class has lost a few people since graduation, and they will be sorely missed. But, the majority are still alive, and I hope to find them in relatively good health and happy. Over time, I have missed their friendship, and we will be celebrating a milestone at year forty -- the older, gentler, kinder version of ourselves.

I usually am a little discouraged that many choose not to attend, but I'm sure they have good reasons for their absence. And, after all, reunions are not everyone's cup of tea. As for me, I'm not very good at "catching up" activities at class reunions. During conversations with my old classmates, I look them in the eye and see them once again as high school seniors. Then, I often lose my train of inquiry as I remember things we did together in high school, making the present conversation something basically unheard that I know I wouldn't remember anyway. After all, my short-term memory is not nearly as good as it used to be.

Here is an example of my train of thought:

"How have you been, Dave?"

 "Oh, I'm just fine, Frank. Just me and the wife now. All the kids are grown up. We're living in Georgia."

 "Oh, Georgia huh? What part of the state?"

MY MIND DRIFTS ... and I'm back in the classroom ...

"Hey, Sue! Dave just put a tack in the seat of Mr. National Honor Society when he put his problem on the board. Oh wow, here he comes back to his seat. Owwl! Ha, ha. Look at him grab his ass!"

"Sorry, Dave. Where did you say you lived?"

Also, some class reunion conversations cause my "could haves" to reappear. The "could haves" include the close games we lost, the girls I should have dated, the activities I messed up, the people I didn't thank -- all of those now regrettable twists of fate I ignored or mishandled. And suddenly, proms and drafts and girls and bands and sports scholarships and goals and beers and kisses and injuries start rolling through my mind on an old, endless roll of high school replays. These many images with new added embellishments and old emotions mix together in a roller coaster ride of memories long ago.

Then, the equality of once all being just "students" is shattered as everyone clamors to find out who is now a success and who is now a loser. To that revelation add the ironies-- affluent nerds and preacher outlaws and all-American rejects and beauty queen frumps-- and comments like "My gosh!" and "I would never have believed it!" begin to cloud the room. Salary judgments, physical judgments, and availability judgments make their customary rounds. Out come the divorces, the set-backs, the ailments- and they all must be weighed. And, finally, the concept of "we're going to put this class back together" for one evening seems pretty fruitless. In fact, putting together something already fragmented is a noble idea, but nearly, if not impossible.

At best, the reunion is a commemoration of "what used to be" and an evaluation of "what we had hoped to be." A new memory together is made until the next reunion occurs. The photographer takes the mandatory class photo to preserve the memory of those who may pass away before another reunion and to verify that the person in the photo really did attend. The DJ plays the oldies which evoke personal memories of a class's past that seldom have meaning for present husbands and wives and some couples dance tenuously hoping neither to be labeled a "show off" or to appear too physically impaired.

My class's rallying call was "Sin, sex, beer and wine. We're the class of '69." At the 40th reunion, I think we should amend the motto to "Wishful thinking, once a month, water and get your backs aligned. We're the old farts of 2009."

Reality brings me to the point of this entry. The best part of the reunion for me is my dumb little fantasy of time travel. For one evening every five years, my soul reverts to eighteen. I relive it knowing that going back is possible in only one place- my mind. The familiar eyes I contact will see someone I used to be, and in that suspension of aging and time, my eyes will allow me to return the favor. I loved high school even if all that is left of the experience today is a few drips in the shell of an empty cone.

 Eighteen Performed by Alice Cooper (Bruce, Cooper, Dunaway, Smith, Buxton)

Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man I'm eighteen and I don't know what I want
Eighteen I just don't know what I want
Eighteen I gotta get away I gotta get out of this place
I'll go runnin' in outer space

Oh yeah I got a baby's brain and an old man's heart
Took eighteen years to get this far
Don't always know what I'm talkin' about
Feels like I'm livin in the middle of doubt
Cause I'm Eighteen I get confused every day
Eighteen I just don't know what to say
Eighteen I gotta get away

Lines form on my face and my hands
Lines form on the left and right
I'm in the middle the middle of life
I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen and I LIKE IT
Yes I like it
Oh I like it
Love it Like it Love it
Eighteen! Eighteen! Eighteen!
Eighteen and I LIKE IT

Innocence

Each new age laments the loss of innocence. Grandparents, parents, and even children mourn over this loss. Yet, innocence is something quite self-unattainable and still seemingly valued as a personal unconscious virtue. Can people remember when innocence was lost in their lives? And, I'm not talking about sexual intercourse. Surely innocence has exited the stage before that act. I have never heard someone say, "Oh, I lost my innocence at three when I inadvertently stole that candy bar from the store." Or I have never heard a person confess, "I lost mine at five when I punched the fat kid in the mouth." This term has always puzzled me. Innocence indicates a general lack of guilt, with respect to any kind of crime, sin, or wrongdoing. The Bible would say Adam and Eve committed the Original Sin, so since all of us are born with a sinful nature, no one would seem to possess complete innocence at any time. Could a newborn then be denied this "innocent" status? Whether the baby has not reached the age of accountability for his own sins, or, as some believe, whether his parents must have the baby baptized to wash away his original sin, innocence seems to be hanging in the balance. In fact, the very act of conception demands at least one party to be guilty of procreating a creation of sinful nature, so is a fetus in utero not free of innocence whenever it is deemed to be a human being? Is there even such a quality as human innocence? Innocence seems to be a potentially attractive kind of ignorance used to preserve idealism. It is a state that deprives people of the possibility of making a choice between good and evil, or actually between thinking and not thinking, between feeling and not feeling. Certain ideals of moral conduct depend upon the ignorance granted by innocence, especially when broken at an early age. But, this suspension of mea culpa doesn't prove that such a thing as innocence exists. Author John Simmons refutes the desirability of innocence, and clearly he has no sense of its true meaning nor of any extraordinary powers it confers on people who are innocent. Loss of innocence (if innocence has meaning) could be when a person finds "he lives life because he has to, not because he wants to." Another author, Lyman Abbott, uses the term innocence symbolically to describe a part of temporal existence: " Every life is a march from innocence, through temptation, to virtue or vice." Perhaps innocence is just an illusion created by man to explain the desire for a share of immortal behavior. If humans do possess some Godly innocence, even in a sinful world, this brings them closer to perfection, an ultimately unattainable goal of the human condition. Adam and Eve certainly made a mess of it all. "Once you start asking questions, innocence is gone." -author Mary Astor

Beautiful Women

Now, I'm not trying to be disrespectful or blaspheme in any way; however, I have seen a certain statement applied to the term beauty in women many, many times. Now, I am certainly questioning the validity of this statement as it applies to connotations of beautiful people. I agree, little is more pleasing than to relate to a woman with a loving personality and positive, outgoing attitude, no matter her physical appearance. Yet, so many other things point to the value placed on physical beauty by women and men. I am beginning to doubt the sincerity in the statement: "It's what's on the inside that counts." Cosmetics, corrective surgeries, singular standards of appearance, popularity, fashion-- all point to the fact that a beautiful woman must have "the look." So, I began to wonder if the majority of believers of "inside beauty" were lying to save face or to parrot an old adage. It is pretty evident that beauty is to women what wealth is to men: the more they have, the better society likes them. In relentless passing of time, the supposed “power” and “privilege” enjoyed by beautiful women are merely fleeting advantages that are entirely dependent on the goodwill and subjective opinion of others (usually men), and are likely to disappear once the woman grows older, or gains weight, or becomes ill. But many women will do anything possible to slow the ravages of time upon their youthful beauty. And, I mean anything. Here are some findings about beautiful people in our American culture: 1. People who are good-looking are assumed and expected to be better than the rest of the population. (Kenealy, Frude, and Shaw. 2001) 2. Physically attractive individuals were rated as having more socially desirable personalities and were expected to have greater personal success on most of life outcome dimensions. (feministgal.blogspot.com) 3. Physical attractiveness impacts employment decision making, with the result that the more attractive an individual, the greater the likelihood that that person will be hired (Watkins & Johnston. 2000). 4. Attractiveness biases have been demonstrated in such different areas as teacher judgments of students (Clifford & Walster. 1973), voter preferences for political candidates (Efran & Patterson. 1974) and jury judgments in simulated trials (Efran. 1974). 5. With her severely scarred face, Lucy Grealy (no longer beautiful) considered herself a disabled person, perhaps marking the first time the "disability is a social construct" argument drew attention. (Lucy Grealy. Autobiography of a Face) 6. Praise, attention, trust and validation are more often readily given to beauty while shortcomings and mistakes are overlooked, sometimes unfairly and at the expense of others. (Alysabeth Clements. Pretty Is As Pretty Does: The Privilege of Beauty) 7. "It's just remarkable the attributes we give to a human being who is good looking," Helen Fisher, Rutgers University anthropologist says. "We think that they are smart. We think that they're funny. We think that they're friendly and warm, and social and popular." 8. Steve Jeffes, author of "Appearance Is Everything," conducted a survey. To confirm a hunch, he questioned jewelers, who told him that very beautiful women who wear diamond rings will almost always wear larger diamonds -- more than one carat -- than less attractive women who also wear diamond rings. 9. People assume that a person who's very good looking is doing a better job than in fact they are doing. So they rise up in the company, and they have more status and more power. (Helen Fisher) 10. As far as help and personal assistance, 20/20 dropped books in front of people walking by them in New York's Greenwich Village. Fewer than half the people who passed helped a plain-looking actress. But when it was the prettier actress' turn, 70 percent of the people nearby pitched in to help. Pretty girls become aware of advantages and power at various ages. As they begin to notice that they turn heads, and that others, usually but not always male, are more eager to help them or please them. Thus, these opportunities and extras are offered in order to bring them closer to admirers. And, what's a girl to do? Many feminists content until women are no longer sexed up, they won't be seen as human beings by men. And, in actuality, these are the women who will never see THEMSELVES as human beings. (Jill Fillipovic). Reduced to objects of standardized beauty and male manipulation, these sexy, beautiful bodies help defeat their own sense of true femininity. Female beauty, in its present definition, fits model proportions of body and face. This view is supported by the men, the women, and the society that judge its standards. Conformation seems to be the key to successful attainment of beauty and privilege, while pressures put on young women to meet present concepts cause many psychological problems. Acceptance of natural looks seems to take a backseat in this argument. And surely, "It's what's on the inside that counts" is somewhere far behind as far as perception of beauty goes. Here are some present day beauties. Notice any similarities in the list? Lara Flynn Boyle 5 ft 4 in 92 pounds Nicole Richie 5 ft 1 in 93 pounds Teri Hatcher 5 ft 6 in 104 pounds Renee Zellweger 5 ft 4 in 105 pounds Victoria Beckham 5 ft 6 in 108 pounds Halle Berry 5 ft 7 in 112 pounds Lindsay Lohan 5 ft 6 in 112 pounds Jennifer Love Hewitt 5 ft 2.5 in 115 pounds Charlize Theron 5 ft 9 in 116 pounds Jennifer Lopez 5 ft 6 in 118 pounds Jennifer Aniston 5 ft 6 in 118 pounds Nicole Kidman 5 ft 11 in 120 pounds Britney Spears 5 ft 5 in 125 pounds Cameron Diaz 5 ft 9 in 127 pounds Tyra Banks 5 ft 11 in 128 pounds "Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense." - Kin Hubbard

Remain in a Sheltered Life?

Parts of Antarctica, the Amazon rain forest, and The Congo are currently unexplored land masses on planet earth. In addition, covering more than 70 percent of the planet's surface, the ocean remains 95% unexplored. In space, the Milky Way has two hundred billion stars in it alone, so even on a dark night when thousands of stars are visible, people can actually see only 0.000003% of the galaxy. Within their own present state of human understanding, people often prefer to believe the vast unknown is virtually nonexistent. Relying strictly on their experience and intelligence, they live in a world of limitations quite dependent on standards of known facts. Skeptical of theories and speculations, these people tend to prefer the relative comfort of a limited environment revealed and verified through the senses over the possibility of other new and unexplained creations beyond their finite comprehension. In denial of the possibility of seemingly outlandish concepts, they risk losing all ability to accept fantasy and disorder. They fear opening the unknown door because of what may lurk behind it. A downside of exploring the fantastic unknown definitely exists. History can attest that exploration of the unknown leads to many potentially problematic discoveries. Consequently, mankind is forced to live with the reality that certain innovations discovered by means of a higher consciousness can be dangerous, even catastrophic when managed incorrectly (genetic research, the atomic bomb, biological weapons, even firearms). On the other hand, the less committed to higher consciousness a human being is, the more likely he/she will operate from the reptilian brain (murderers, rapists, terrorists) while exploiting technological or ideological advancements in disregard of others. So the paradox seems to be how to live within new worlds of discovery while safeguarding mankind from those who operate without conscience, or very little of it. Everyone must deal with the problems that arise from journeys into the unknown, and that reality has held true throughout history. Yet, the unknown is a lure to discovery, and the human instinct is to explore. Change is inevitable: new discoveries will be made today and they will progress through the horizons of tomorrow. In fact, can a pleasurable existence be possible to attain without boldly confronting the unknown? Studies of every major discipline-- science, history, the arts, to name a few--would tell us such encounters are vital to the existence and to the benefit of all species. Without exploring the vast unknowns of earth or the universe, people many consider whether they would choose to explore the untouched territory of their associations with other people and with uncommon discoveries. Here are some situations that may strike fear to those reading the blog today. What would you do in each of the examples. Be honest. Please give me feedback. 1. Live in an all-black community? All-white if you are black? 2. Attend a gay wedding? 3. Have a funeral for a close relative in your home? 4. Give a speech to a crowd of 1,000 people? 5. Give home care to a AIDS victim? 6. Spend a night in an isolated forest alone? 7. Make friends with a group of obese people? 8. Shelter a homeless family? 9. Take target practice with a handgun? 10. Handle a poisonous snake (with proper instruction)? 11. Eat a meal at a stranger's home? 12. Refuse to watch television for a year?