The Jackson Three "Come Exploit With Me"

How does this bit of news from the Online Sun make you feel?

"Michael Jackson's father, Joe Jackson, is lining up the King of Pop's children for a world tour as The Jackson Three — despite family members accusing him of trying to "exploit them like Jacko."

Former Jackson Five manager Joe is said to have approached Prince Michael, 12; Paris, 11; and seven-year old Prince Michael II — known as Blanket — to hit the stage next year."

Just when you think some piece of knowledge about the dangerous realities of child stars, drugs, and show business have been reiterated and, sadly, confirmed, Joe Jackson's eyes open to the potential of making the almighty dollar. Maybe someone should tell Jackson to read The Living Proof, the biography of Hank Williams Jr., to get a firsthand view of what being brought up in the shadow of a superstar does to personal development. Of course, maybe Joe is thinking about the financial future of Michael's children. OK, then let me sell you some real estate in the Everglades.

So, let me ask you, since exploitation seems to be commonplace, even accepted behavior for the money hungry, what would you expose or exploit to become rich? Yourself? Your relatives? Your friends? Or, perhaps just things you detest like the IRS or the dreaded opposition? If you are one of the "beautiful people," you could pose for a nudie magazine or become a porn star. If you have some interesting "dirt" on relatives or friends, you could write a steaming expose. You could even steal some one's identify, get arrested, and write a best seller detailing your experience. How about becoming an expert computer hacker?

Here are some pointers for exploitation to get you started on your life of luxury. I must give credit to Jennifer Copley, "How Psychopaths Exploit Others," July 2008 for some ideas here.

1. Become good at spotting exploitable vulnerabilities in others. In other words target the lonely, grief-stricken, or those with a recent setback or breakup. The "law of the jungle" is meant to protect the survival of the fittest. It's not only nature's way but the way of business, politics, and power.

2. Play on the sympathies of others. Use dramatic, short-lived emotional displays to provoke sympathy or guilt in others. Sympathy makes it much easier to clean out their bank accounts when your bitter circumstances stem from the cruel treatment of others. Even small injustices are excuses for mayhem.

3. Take initial risks that others wouldn't take. Risking makes you appear courageous and impressive. Personalities such as the brilliant eccentric, misunderstood genius, or difficult artistic types may serve you well. People want their ideal personalities to be unpredictable and rehab prone.

4. Become masterful at presenting information with an interesting, shocking, entertaining or “wow” effect. The news media loves the instantaneous "naughty" angle. Remember, the longer the exposure of the trivial, the better the bucks. Learn to make a tremendous clatter about the smallest error.

5. Concentrate attention on willowy with big boobs and butts in the female anatomy and tall, buff with the six pack in the male anatomy. The promotion of idealized beauty is crucial: no boob is big enough; no ass is not flabby; no tan is dark enough; and, most importantly, no one is thin enough. Brazen displays attract the most attention.

6. Practice the art of showing sympathy for stupid people who do stupid things but know it. Stupid is "in" these days and the stupider, the better. The field is wide open to exploit blonds, criminals, and hillbillies in all of their ignorant antics. The old "dumb ass" is the new "smart ass."

7. Increase your popularity by getting people to give up money/time/energy/work for no rewards by telling them they are always right while others are always wrong. Being totally agreeable boosts the ego of those around you and makes them feel naturally indebted. How could anything be wrong with consensual slavery nourished with spoon-fed compliments?

8. Try your hand at devising dumbed-down unnecessary devices for stupid/lazy/bored people. A popular series The Idiot's Guide to ... are wildly successful publications. Turn the book into the paragraph, the paragraph into the sentence, and the sentence into the new phrase or buzz word. People love shortcuts.

9. Get people to believe in the highly improbable or magical. Why do you think people spend tons of money on lotteries and fantasy games? Does Harry Potter ring a bell? Fantasy could be your key to making your fortune a reality. Mystical appeal borders on religious feelings and sexually charged mystery.

10. Start viewing the treatment of people as mere means to an end — or as mere "objects." In different terms, "exploitation" refers to the use of people as a resource, with little or no consideration of their well-being.

Good luck on your journey to financial superiority. Remember, real exploiters must be committed to their behaviors and never waver in times of doubt. Concentrate on whom you must kick on the way up the ladder to success and believe strongly that you will never need to climb down even one rung. I wonder what companies will feature the new Jackson Three in commercial advertisement? Get in on the bottom floor.