Sometimes, "making the best of
things" is simply impossible. When "things" have no
substance and, thus, no redeeming value, you can devote a lifetime to
remodeling them and completely waste your time. Simply put, all your
efforts for improvement will produce nothing because the work lacks a
substantial foundation.
The word foundation is derived
from Greek word themelios, which refers to a substructure –
something put down as an under girding for what would be built.
Themelios actually comes from a root word that means to put or
place something down, to establish something and fix it firmly.
Anything that has not been established with a firm foundation will
perish. To choose to build a life or a dream on things without a nub
of reason is folly.
Following a dream or a vision demands a
realistic look at solid foundations. Hope and inspiration are
wonderful concepts that help lend great meaning to life. As a child,
you were likely fascinated by magic and prone to great, fantastic
dreams. Then, you often fueled your young thoughts with creative, inspiring
play and innocent reverie – all of which helped form a healthy,
hopeful character. Your parents sheltered and lovingly protected you
from the threats and dangers of unsubstantial deceit.
So, as you grew and gained some
independence, you tested your basic understandings of the adult world
from an honest but pristine perspective. If you were like most
adolescents, you soon found many gaps between the Disney World and
Main Street. You quickly discovered your rainbows and childhood dreams
confronted by storm clouds and stark actuality. In time, more and more
threatening forces began to enter your life and cause you to
re-evaluate “things,” even to rethink your hopes and dreams.
Good plans with solid foundations most
often grow as you gain independence. Your dreams may distract you
from any negative events in your life and lead you to the greatest
accomplishments; however, if you become trapped in the chimera of
thin, shadowy illusions, the quest for your dreams can become nothing
but continuing, fruitless drama.
Today, it seems to me, so many must act
out the dramatic, unfulfillable roles they create. They insist on
“making the best of things” when those “things” they have
chosen lead to nowhere. You need something to “base” you life
upon, and not just anything that appears attractive and simple to attain, but something
that has bedrock -- an unshakable, worthy foundation. And, you must keep in mind that the best foundations usually require the most effort to attain.
Growing older demands that you continue
to search for the truth of your convictions. You must build "up" from the well-grounded foundation of your life. Gaining wisdom is a job
that requires your constant attention, change, and reflection. The
wisdom and manner in which you interpret the knowledge is unique to the dream that you have begun upon that firm ground.
Admittedly, you may not follow the
exacting blueprints drafted by another to build upon your good
foundation. In fact, after digesting advice, you may build your own
organic, elemental vision unlike any others before. Yet even the most
wonderful production will be a front, a phony structure that will
fall, if you continue to build it upon wavering footings. “Making
the best” implies that you started with something “good” and
now you intend to “better” it to the fullest.
Insincere relationships, fraudulent dealings, and poor moral actions may anchor a facade of splendid accomplishment, but, soon, the truth surfaces, and inevitable transparency occurs. Then, others realize the horrible reality that you have no base, no core -- no substance whatsoever. At best, people see the “real you” as a fool who has been grossly over-dependent on sheer speculation and lies.
I contend that is much better for you
to cut ties than to attempt to “make the best” of something that
has no substance. As painful as it is for you to severe friendly but
unsavory contacts, I believe the clean break will best serve you as
you dedicate your efforts to construct a new life on unspoiled
foundations.
I strongly believe in the power of the
human will as it operates with tried-and-true, concrete, positive
intentions. You should dedicate undying efforts to the justification
of good works. These are the undertakings you must endeavor to give
“your best.” Toiling within a “crowd” of ardent people who do
not lose sight of the stronger elements of human kindness leads to
realizing a sustainable, realistic dream, one built on the seat of
love and compassion. By doing so, as a devotee of compassion, you may
never gain a fortune or control a huge corporation, yet you are more
apt to gain the ascendency of your very own soul.
Don't try to make the best of things? I
say: “No, not if you are trying to make the best of 'things' that
are doomed to be meaningless and detrimental to your heart and soul.”
Finding the bedrock of your own satisfaction within your own needs
requires that you set sail on a perilous, solo journey of discovery
through the snares of modern society. Many of those who employ these
snags wear the trappings of shimmering dreams to conceal their deadly
appetites for human consumption.
The real beauty and power in “your
dream” stems from your ability to find honest and humble, solid
ground; plant your feet deep in a stable foundation; then work
unselfishly toward a better tomorrow that enriches your being and the
lives of others around you. Then, you will value your achievements,
but more importantly, you will give others an initial blueprint for
their own dreams so that they, too, find something of substance.
If, however, you insist on making the
most out of nothing, you must be satisfied with constant drama and
never-ending frustrations. To continue trying to make something out
of nothing, you will always blame others for your poor choices and
never accept responsibility for being a rebel without a cause
dwelling in a land of urgent demands, incessant complaints, and
boundary violations – a land where you are continually ambushed by
those wishing to appeal to your skewed sense of sympathy.
You may want to weight what is more
important: your dreams or your baseless drama. Drama seems obsolete
when you are passionate about following your dreams based in a more
reliable, solid reality that offers the best opportunity of coming
true.
From Psych 101, you remember Maslow’s
pyramid of motives. Maslow proposed this hierarchy of motives, with
those at the bottom taking precedence over those higher up. Once
you’re well-fed, you begin to worry about safety, and once you’re
safe, you begin to worry about getting affection. At the top of
Maslow’s pyramid was self-actualization—the desire to fulfill
your unique creative potential (if you are a musician, and you’ve
satisfied all your lower biological needs, you can move on to playing
music for its own sake; if you’re a poet, you can dedicate yourself
to your poetry).
But the modern integration of ideas
from neuroscience, developmental biology, and evolutionary psychology
suggests that Maslow had a few things wrong. Here is new pyramid that
represents Maslow revisited.
Self-actualization does not even appear
in the new pyramid, not because it’s not interesting and important,
but because it is not fundamental. Research suggests that creative
performances are hardly detached from other social motives. I hope
you might get some insight from viewing the new idea.
(Douglas T. Kenrick, Ph.D. “Rebuilding
Maslow's Pyramid on an Evolutionary Foundation.” Psychology
Today. May 19 2010)
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