“Clarissa laughs gently and says, 'True that. If you don’t mind me asking, does perpetually being surrounded by death get to you?'
“'Not at all. On the contrary, it seems to make me appreciate life more. Each tie you bury or cremate dead, you are reminded of your own mortality. Ashes to ashes; dust to dust. We only have the present moment. Our next second is not guaranteed. So you end up treasuring each day that you have and wanting to make the best of it.'”
– View of the funeral director, Timothy, from Ashes to Ashes (2018) by Lavan S. Nathan
What do you want ultimately “done” to you? You know, something all of us face – what do want to be done with your human remains?
Following the adage “Funerals are for the living, not the dead,” you may want to relinquish control over what happens after your death to your descendants. Planning for the disposition of your body, however, affords you the opportunity not only to confront your mortality but also to help your loved ones avoid making painful decisions about what to do while they are grieving your death.
You say you don't really care, or you don't want to talk about such a morbid subject? Well, you should stop reading this report then. But, if you are interested in exploring options for disposition, this blog entry relates some elementary information about choosing your final destination.
Of course, you may choose traditional burial and cremation, both of which are very popular. However, in addition to these options, you have many other choices for taking care of your remains, some of which stretch the imagination.
For example, you can be buried in a suit made of cotton and mushroom spores, intended to make your body into fungus food. Or, you can have a company take your cremated remains and incorporate them into artificial reefs. Your post-cremation ashes can also be made into a diamond and worn as jewelry or transformed into a glass paperweight for a bizarre cubicle talking piece.
Or, how about promession – the body is transformed into a fertiliser, like cow dung, by being frozen in liquid nitrogen and turned into a powder?
Conversely, if you want your old body to get away from Earth altogether, you could have your ashes added to a firework. Or, you could pay for having your ashes shot into space. And, if you’d like to really get away, your ashes could be shot out of orbit and into deep space. That is what was done with the remains of Clyde Tombaugh, who discovered Pluto; his remains came within 8,000 miles of the dwarf planet and are currently over 4 billion miles from Earth.
(Adam Larson. “You can't choose an afterlife. But you can choose what happens to your body after your life.” NBC News “Think.” April 04, 2021.)
Space ashes, not kidding. A firm called Celestis offers four destinations starting at $2,495 with flexible payment plans. They say, “Let us guide you in choosing a destination in space where you can look into the sky each night and feel the honor and respect you have paid to your loved one.” Pretty romantic, huh?
Celestis options: “Launch to Space & Return to Earth, Launch into Earth Orbit, Launch to Lunar Orbit or Surface, and Launch to Deep Space.”
(“Uniquely Compelling, Surprisingly Affordable, Memorial Experiences.” Memorial Spaceflights. Celestis. Established 1994.)
You could even choose mummification, which involves the preservation of the skin and the flesh of a corpse. Very costly, it starts at $67,000.
For those looking to be frozen rather than burned, cryonics – freezing the body to a temperature low enough that it won’t decompose – starts at an average cost of $28,000.
Funeral Plans
According to a report by National Funeral Directors Association, 62.5% of Americans felt it was very important to communicate their funeral plans and wishes to family members before their own death, yet only 21.4% had done so.
The survey found 47% of Americans opt for burial plans based on personal beliefs, while 24% say family traditions influence their decision. Only 14% of Americans ascribe financial reasons as the determining factor for their choice.
A new report (2020) by insurance firm Choice Mutual found 44% of Americans plan on being cremated, a 40% increase from the 1960s. Cremations start around $500 (which doesn't include a burial plot or headstone). but could cost thousands more with viewing or memorial services. Traditional burials were the second most popular choice, with 35% of Americans preferring the method. The average cost for traditional burials is $7,360.
(Jazmin Goodwin. “More Americans are choosing cremation over traditional burials, survey finds.” USA TODAY. January 21, 2020.)
Cremation – Becoming More Popular
The process of cremation is essentially the conversion of a solid to a gas. This is accomplished by heating the body, which contains between 65% and 85% water by weight, to a temperature high enough to facilitate the combustion process. Laws for required temperatures vary by state, but the cremation process usually occurs between 1400 and 1600 degrees F.
Today’s modern crematories use industrial furnaces designed just for cremation. The process takes about 2-3 hours to complete. Many facilities allow the family of the deceased to witness the cremation. Space is often limited, so it is best to check with the cremation facility to find out how many people can attend.
After the cremation, the remaining bone fragments are allowed to cool for approximately 30 minutes. They are then run through a magnetic field or scanned manually with a magnet. This is to extract any remaining metal, such as casket handles, tooth fillings, or surgical implants. Pacemakers must be removed in advance of the cremation due to the possibility of explosion.
In the final process, the bone fragments ground down into the gritty sand-like substance. Those are placed into a container and presented or sent to the family.
You may be surprised to learn that many families do not want to receive the remains after the cremation. That’s the case for one percent of all cremations (approximately 15,000+ per year). For some people, having a constant reminder is just too much to bear. So the idea of keeping the remains can make them feel uneasy. It’s just one reason why a family member may choose to let the funeral home handle the storage or disposal.
And, if a person specifies in their that they wanted the funeral home to dispose of their remains then there’s not much anyone can do about it.
What has to be done legally will be different from state to state. In Texas, funeral homes must hold on to the remains for at least 121 days. Most of the time unclaimed ashes are scattered. But the funeral home has to get approval for the scattering just like the family would.
Other funeral homes will bury the remains. They’ll usually wait until there are a certain number of remains then bury them together in a mass grave.
Cremation Trivia
Thanks to the Cremation Institute, the following information is cited in their online article “10 Things You Don’t Know About Cremains: Our Experts Explain” (2021)
The average weight of remains is approximately five pounds. What is left after the cremation process are only bone fragments. Therefore, a tall person leaves more remains than a short one. Men generally have denser bones than women. In addition, young people commonly have denser bones than older people, so younger male’s ashes will weigh more than elderly women. Furthermore, adult ashes represent roughly 3.5% of the original weight and 2.5% for children.
The word “ashes” is typically used instead of “cremains”. But contrary to common belief, cremains are not ashes at all. For the most part, they are dry calcium phosphates together with some other minerals, including potassium and sodium, which in simpler terms means bone matter.
You can bury ashes in a cemetery plot. This is referred to as interment of ashes.
It is the same burial process as you would with a body, except of course, cremation plots are much smaller. In many cases, cemeteries allow more than one body to be buried in a single plot, making it more economically feasible as well.
Water cremation is actually possible without using a flame. Also know as alkaline hydrolysis or resomation, a water based cremation is proven to be much more eco friendly and sustainable. It mimics the decomposition process of when someone is buried underground, using a combination of water and potassium hydroxide.
The only agency authorized to ship ashes is the United States Postal Service (USPS). There are some guidelines to follow:
* It must be shipped by Priority Mail Express.
* It has to be packaged in inner and outer sift-proof containers with ample padding so that the contents do not move around.
* The addressee’s and the sender’s name and address much be included inside the box in case of damage to the outer label.
* In addition, you should place a label with the identity of the contents on the outside of the box. The postal service has these available.
What Is the Most Practical Option For Human Remains?
While organ donation generally still leaves people with the option for burial, cremation or composting, there’s another option: donating your remains entirely to science.
Donated bodies are used to train the next generation of doctors in medical schools, provide insight into human variation and even reveal how our bodies naturally decay – to help forensic anthropologists identify murder victims and catch their killers. Like organ donation, donating a body to science can save lives. Statistics show around 6% of people donate their body.
Mayo Clinic uses the following procedures for donation:
Mayo Clinic requires a signed Anatomical Bequest to Mayo Clinic consent form for whole-body donation executed by the prospective donor. Mayo Clinic does not accept (“no longer”) power of attorney, next of kin, and guardian or conservator signatures on behalf of a potential donor. The gift of whole-body donation is authorized by the individual, but the legal next of kin is responsible for carrying out the donor's wishes. If the next of kin opposes the donation, it will not occur. Mayo Clinic advises donors to notify their families of their intentions.
A coordinator reviews acceptance protocol to determine if the donation can be accepted. If the potential donor meets the acceptance criteria, the next of kin will be contacted to determine if whole-body donation should proceed.
Typically, studies of donated bodies are completed in six to 15 months. Mayo Clinic offers biocremation as a means of final disposition. The biocremated remains can be returned to the family or interred in the Mayo vault at Oakwood Cemetery in Rochester, Minnesota. If traditional cremation or burial is the donor's wish, the donor's estate is responsible for the cost of the casket and all funeral expenses.
There is no payment for body donation, as explicitly stated by law in every state. Mayo Clinic has limited funds to reimburse transportation expenses for a whole-body donation. Any expenses beyond the fund limit are the responsibility of the donor's estate. If the donor dies out of state and the cost of transporting the body to Mayo Clinic is too expensive, the next of kin can contact a nearby medical school about making the donation there.
(“Body donation at Mayo Clinic.” Mayo Clinic. 1998-2021.)
Well maybe
it is just the time of year
Or maybe it's the time of man
I
don't know who I am
But you know life is for learning
We are
stardust
Billion year old carbon
We are golden
Caught in the
devil's bargain
And we've got to get ourselves
Back to the
garden
– From “Woodstock,” Joni Mitchell
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