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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

What to Look for in a Friend

What do you look for in a friend? Millions of articles, books, and columns have been written as answers to this question. Most are alike- someone who sticks with you, someone whom you can talk with, someone who respects you for whom you are, ad nauseam. Although these answers may be true, I have discovered some rather unique characteristics of a good friend. I have seen these qualities applied in practice and believe them to be equally important to anything endorsed by Dr. Phil. I hope this list, in its own feeble way, offers solid qualities of friendship to the readers. 1. A good friend is someone you will eventually have a fight and/or argument with and afterward call you an "ass" less than a dozen times. 2. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." Thanks to Jim Hayes. 3. A friend will bail you out of jail, but a good friend will be sitting next to you and say, "Damn, that was fun!" 4. "You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job." Thanks to Laurence J. Peter. 5. "A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." Thanks to Fr. Jerome Cummings. 6. "A true friend stabs you in the front." Thanks to Oscar Wilde. 7. A good friend will not drink the last beer in your refrigerator. 8. A good friend wants you to leave him alone only most of the time. 9. A good friend will walk through one of your raunchiest farts and say, "Nice job!" 10. A good friend stands up for you as long as he's not on a date with your wife. 11. A good friend doesn't believe a gentleman's dress reveals his character, unless the gentleman is wearing a dress. 12. A good friend offers you the best cut of meat after he places it on his plate. 13. A good friend says he will love you until you die unless your terminal cancer goes into remission. 14. A good friend never sees your faults unless he forgets to close his eyes. Good friends, like twenty dollar bills these days, are hard to come by. I think we should cherish our good friends and buy their dinner in appreciation of their support. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have one of those two-for one Big Mac coupons in my drawer. We can split a large fry. Bon appetit, Ami!
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