Monday, May 4, 2009
When Men Talk To a Lady
I think that many girls prefer a strikingly handsome, smooth talking man. I believe, however, that many great normal-looking guys are just not that good at making small talk with superficial conversation, nor are those great guys good at using conversation to "say all the things a girl wants to hear." In brief, I think women should let the typically nervous good man have ample time to express true loving and feelings and not necessarily expect him to instantaneously bloom with smitten romance. Fears of rejection often cause such men to watch attractive ladies from afar. Some, due to put-downs from others, figure the risk of a relationship is not worth the chance of being humiliated. Not the Hollywood hunk or confident tough, he resigns himself to silence. The intimidation factor also enters into initial conversations between the sexes. Most gentlemen do not wish initially to offend a lady, so they fear they are treading upon shaky ground since they assume a beautiful woman has been hit upon and "sweet talked" so many times by aggressive men. Men may understand that a pretty woman is sick of brass individuals, so they simply don't know what to say. Or, in fact, many men become nervous under a spell of beautiful attraction and quickly become tongue tied, losing any chance for mutual conversation. And, yes, most men are not adept at reading female body language as proof positive that a lady wants to be approached and wooed. I think most men look at dress much more than body language when sizing up a strange woman. This may be unfortunate and unfair as a first impression; however, I have heard comments about those who wear short skirts and tight sweaters many times. Men, especially average Joes, are fairly unobservant of small details. In addition, I believe that most men despise male "smooth operators" more for bragging about their conquests than for being successful with ladies. Many attractive men may give the impression that they possess sexual prowess as part of a false resume of egotism. Most good men hate to hear such crowing about any woman they respect. Braggadocio is empty, arrogant pretension and an affront to a fine woman. I think men still respect a girl who has limited sexual contact and good moral understandings. True male wolves could probably tell a person more about STD's than about sexual or romantic expertise. Why do so many men get jealous of their girlfriend's other male friends? I believe jealousy occurs because males are conditioned to protect their female interests, not to gladly accept open relationships. I have often said that playboys are two-faced lovers. They truly don't believe "what's good for the gander is good for the goose." Throughout the years, I have felt sad when I have known a great man who cannot master the skills needed to connect with good women. Though the difference in the way the sexes communicate is great, I can't help but feel some men just cannot overcome their fears of dating. And, for many women who can't find a decent gentleman for a companion, that fact is also very sad. So, I say, "Ladies, give the good guys equal opportunity. At first glance, don't always be impressed with his good looks and his suave behavior. Once a good man has your confidence, he may surprise you with hidden talents. In fact, you may surprise yourself that stereotypes can be very deceiving. Even your ideas of physical attraction may alter."