When a woman feels
alone, when the room
is full of daemons,” the Nootka tribe
Tells us, ‘The Old Woman will be there.”
She has come to me over three thousand miles
And what does she have to tell me, troubled
“by phantoms in the night”?
Is she really here?
What is the saving word from so deep in the past.
From as deep as the ancient root of the redwood,
From as deep as the primal bed of the ocean,
From as deep as a woman’s heart sprung open
Again through a hard birth or a hard death?
Here under the shock of love, I am open
To you, Primal spirit, one with rock and wave,
One with survivors of flood and fire,
Who have rebuilt their homes a million times,
Who have lost their children and borne them again.
The words I hear are strength, laughter, endurance.
Old Woman I meet you deep inside myself.
There in the rootbed of fertility,
World without end, as the legend tells it.
Under the words you are my silence.
is full of daemons,” the Nootka tribe
Tells us, ‘The Old Woman will be there.”
She has come to me over three thousand miles
And what does she have to tell me, troubled
“by phantoms in the night”?
Is she really here?
What is the saving word from so deep in the past.
From as deep as the ancient root of the redwood,
From as deep as the primal bed of the ocean,
From as deep as a woman’s heart sprung open
Again through a hard birth or a hard death?
Here under the shock of love, I am open
To you, Primal spirit, one with rock and wave,
One with survivors of flood and fire,
Who have rebuilt their homes a million times,
Who have lost their children and borne them again.
The words I hear are strength, laughter, endurance.
Old Woman I meet you deep inside myself.
There in the rootbed of fertility,
World without end, as the legend tells it.
Under the words you are my silence.
– May Sarton, Poem in
Letters From Maine
May Sarton (1912–1995),
was a Belgian-born American poet, novelist, memoirist,
autobiographer, children's author, screenwriter, and playwright. A
prolific poet, Sarton often dwells in her works upon such concerns as
the joy and pain of love, the necessity of solitude for creativity
and identity, and the conflict between body and soul.
Sarton moved with her
family to Ipswich, England following the outbreak of World War I when
German troops invaded Belgium after the assassination of Archduke
Franz Ferdinand in 1914. One year later, they moved to Boston,
Massachusetts, where her father George started working at Harvard
University.
Sarton's family members
found themselves immersed in the intellectual and bohemian circles of
Cambridge. There, poetry beckoned young May. She started theater
lessons in her late teens, but she continued writing poetry
throughout her adolescence. She began publishing her poetry at the
tender age of 17.
In all, Sarton wrote over
30 volumes of poetry and fiction and was best known for her letters
and journals which chronicled her life in a small house along an
isolated Maine coast, where she spent the last twenty years of her
life.
Her often solitary life is
reflected in a series of memoirs where Sarton talked about highly
personal facets of her life including her lesbianism, the onset of
age, and her constant self-doubts. She was also a keen observer of
the natural world, taking great pleasure from the development of wild
flowers as the seasons changed.
“A garden is always a
series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself,”
Sarton wrote. As a spiritual being, she was constantly battling with
the challenges that she faced as a naturally creative person while
often living in solitude.
Her love life was as
prolific as her art. From Eve Le Gallienne to Julian (and Juliette)
Huxley to Elizabeth Bowen to Muriel Rukeyser to a host of lesser
knowns, Sarton left a passionate wake across two continents and never
tried of chase and conquest. Spouses were deserted for her, lovers
set adrift for her.
In
her biography of May Sarton, Margot Peters states …
“Sarton's passion and
talent lit fires in both sexes wherever she went. Attractive,
audacious and bratty Sarton assumed she could have whatever - and
whomever - she wanted.”
According to Peters,
Sarton's hunger for love was driven by her need to conquer. The poet
affirmed the desire for love that is sustained in late life.
“ … inside,
the person I really am has no relation to this mask age is slowly
attaching to my face. I feel so young, so exposed, under it. I simply
cannot seem to learn to behave like the very old party I am. The
young girl, arrogant, open, full of feelings she cannot analyze,
longing to be told she is beautiful – that young girl lives inside
this shell. And God knows, age is hard on her.”
– May
Sarton, Kinds of Love
Sarton's feelings are
never more raw or exposed than in Letters from Maine (1984).
The rugged Eastern coast of her home provided a stark background for
Sarton's images of a tragically brief and new-found love. In her
writing, she described the willingness to give anything and devote
everything to a new love, as well as dealing with the despair at the
memory of what was left over.
“The
value of solitude – one of its values – is, of course, that there
is nothing to cushion against attacks from within, just as there is
nothing to help balance at times of particular stress or depression.
A few moments of desultoryconversation
… may calm an inner storm. But the storm, painful as it is,might have
had some truth in it. So sometimes one has simply to endurea period
of depression for what it may hold of illumination if one can livethrough
it, attentive to what it exposes or demands.”
– May
Sarton
As Sarton grew older, time
became an increasingly prominent factor in her life, but as Letters
from Maine shows, it is never too late to love. These feelings
are summed up perfectly in one of her poems which is called “When a
Woman Feels Alone.”
In this poem, Sarton's
allusion to the Old Woman of the Nootka tribe, an indigenous peoples
of the Pacific Northwest Coast in Canada, recognizes a tribal belief
system that centers on a Creator being as well as spirits whose
powers can be used to bring peace and fortune. The Nootka
(Nuu-chah-nulth) believe that all life forms have a spirit, and
should therefore be respected and appreciated.
When the woman in the poem
feels alone, she seeks a primal source that will provide answers to
her trouble and perhaps redeem the disturbing silences. The words of
comfort from the Old Woman spirit – “strength, laughter, and
endurance” – correspond respectively to the natural references of
the trees, the oceans, and the woman's heart (images that appear in
the poem prior to the woman's words).
In the last lines, the
lonely woman acknowledges the enduring silence of her being:
"Old Woman I meet you
deep inside myself.
There in the rootbed of fertility,
World without end, as the legend tells it.
Under the words you are my silence."
There in the rootbed of fertility,
World without end, as the legend tells it.
Under the words you are my silence."
It is a poem of reflection
and critical understanding. Like the mighty redwood, the woman finds
comfort in silent existence throughout terrible tragedies such as
“rebuilding a home” or “losing a child.” Sarton's verse
visits the question of the difficult, necessary self-confrontations
that solitude makes possible. It is the woman's natural passing deep
inside herself at “the rootbed of her fertility.”
“Does
anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught
in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive.
It is all closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a
key? Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in
order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long,
not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.”
– May
Sarton
May Sarton had a stroke in
1990, and required a nurse. She could no longer garden, or walk with
her cherished dog to the sea. But she still loved the coast of Maine,
and her home, and, when she could, she continued to write. She
dictated her final journals. She still drank champagne in the
afternoon. She died of breast cancer in 1995.
“Loneliness
is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”
–
May Sarton
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