“Developmental
psychologist Erik Erikson dubbed a term “generativity” –
the
process not of achieving and keeping things, but giving them away.
You can’t
take the house you built or the songs you wrote with you, to say
nothing of
the family you created. They are all your body of work, your
mortal
oeuvre (collective works), and there can be joy in handing them on.”
Erikson conceptualized
generativity as a stage of psychosocial development that usually
didn’t occur until middle adulthood and that concerned itself with
helping to nurture future generations. Over time, this
conceptualization has broadened to include giving back to society in
such a way that engenders a feeling that we are helping to move the
world in a more positive direction.
As we near the end of
life, generativity is a concern that can be realized through
parenthood, volunteering, teaching and mentoring, neighborhood and
community activism, or through our careers. Employing generative
energy, we can care for others, and we can contribute to the world
and the people we will ultimately leave behind.
“The idea of one
generation replacing the next becomes a buffer against anxiety,”
says Thomas Pyszczynski, professor of psychology at the University of
Colorado. If there’s peace to be had at the approach of death, it
comes from knowing that the world we're exiting is at least a bit
richer than the one we found when we arrived.
Researchers have talked
about how generativity may come from multiple motivations. One of the
reasons we form a desire to be generative is because we have a “need
to be needed” by others or to feel useful to or needed by
other people. It can also stem from a desire to leave a legacy that
lives on after we have passed, or from wanting to give back and make
a difference to others.
Several studies now have
established that our sense of how generative we are, or our
self-perceptions of generativity, are associated with both
psychological and physical health outcomes. For example, adults with
more positive self-perceptions of generativity tend to have lower
levels of depressed and anxious mood, and they also tend to be
happier and more satisfied with their lives.
Adults who have more
positive self-perceptions of generativity also have a lower risk of
developing physical disabilities. Generativity may even have an
impact on how long we live; older adults who feel more generative or
feel that they are useful to and needed by other people have a lower
risk of mortality.
“People want to share
memories, pass on wisdoms and keepsakes, connect with loved ones, and
to make some last contributions to the world. These moments are among
life’s most important, for both the dying and those left behind.”
– Dr.
Atul Gawande, author of Being Mortal
Being generative does not
require huge resources of money or specific skills. Normal people can
engage in simple actions that enrich both themselves and others.
Generativity can include forms of productivity and creativity in four
foci: people, groups, things, and activities.
“People can be
generative in a wide variety of life pursuits and in a vast array of
life settings, as in work life and professional activities, volunteer
endeavors, participation in religious and political organizations,
neighborhood and community activism, friendships, and even one's
leisure-time activities."
-- Dan
McAdams and Ed de St. Aubin, psychologists
Stagnation is certainly a
fear for our Baby Boomer generation. People who are stagnant often
feel useless and unneeded. Their final crisis is about integrity and
despair, and it is characteristically felt during the final years of
life.
At the end of life, we are
likely to review the past and to ask whether it has been lived as
well as possible. Since our personal history can no longer be altered
at the end of our life, it is important for us to make peace with
what actually happened and to forgive ourselves and others for
mistakes. The alternative is despair, or depression from believing
not only that we live our lives badly, but also that we no longer
have any hope of correcting past mistakes. Generativity is the
opposite of despair in stagnation.
“Writing my book
taught me that being a successful person isn’t about career
achievement or having the most toys. It’s about being a good, wise,
and generous human being. We can conclude we’re failures and that
our lives lack meaning, or we can embrace a different definition of
success, one rooted in generativity – in doing the quiet work of
maintaining our “stores” in our own little corners of the world,
and making sure that someone will mind them after we’re gone. That,
ultimately, is the key to leading a meaningful life.”
– Emily
Esfahani Smith, Poynter Journalism Fellow at Yale University and
author of The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life that Matters
Consider the life of the
great psychiatrist Viktor Frankl (1905-1997), who survived the
horrors of Nazi Germany. He, his wife, and parents were deported to
the Nazi Theresienstadt Ghetto. His father died of pneumonia half a
year later from the ghetto's deplorable conditions.
The next year, Frankl and
his wife were transported to the infamous Auschwitz death camp, where
more than a million people would eventually be murdered. He was then
transferred to two additional camps, separating him from his mother
and wife, both of whom would eventually perish.
During this ordeal, Frankl
came to believe that the only way he could survive and maintain his
sanity was to hold tightly to a sense of meaning and purpose. He was
fond of quoting the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote, “He
who has a why to live for can bear almost anyhow.” For Frankl,
personally, meaning flowed from acting as a psychiatrist and
physician to his fellow prisoners, as well as from reflecting on his
love for his wife Tilly.
After being liberated from
the camps, Frankl spent his life advocating for the importance of
meaning as a salve against suffering and the secret to happiness.
Meaning brought him through the Holocaust and formed the basis for
his entire approach to life. Yet, for Frankl, meaning cannot be
pursued as a goal in itself. It must ensue as a side-effect of
pursuing other goals – embracing activities that connect us.
“Don't aim at
success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you
are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued;
it must ensue.”
– Viktor
Frankl
Generativity is full
permission living. It represents our refusal to compromise and accept
trite adages about the ravages of time. To be generative is to find
deeper meaning and fulfillment in our lives, no matter the age. Why
should we stop living and pursuing our understandings in the latter
years of our existence? Why shouldn't we seek joy in sharing our
feelings with others? We and others should accept permission to “be”
until we no longer exist.
Lines on Retirement,
after Reading Lear
David Wright
for Richard Pacholski
Avoid storms. And
retirement parties.
You can’t trust the
sweetnesses your friends will
offer, when they really
want your office,
which they’ll
redecorate. Beware the still
untested pension plan.
Keep your keys. Ask
for more troops than you
think you’ll need. Listen
more to fools and less to
colleagues. Love your
youngest child the most,
regardless. Back to
storms: dress warm, take a
friend, don’t eat the grass,
don’t stand near tall
trees, and keep the yelling
down—the winds won’t
listen, and no one will
see you in the dark. It’s
too hard to hear
you over all the thunder.
But you’re not
Lear, except that we can’t
stop you from what
you’ve planned to do. In
the end, no one leaves
the stage in character—we
never see
the feather, the mirror
held to our lips.
So don’t wait for skies
to crack with sun. Feel
the storm’s sweet sting
invade you to the skin,
the strange, sore comforts
of the wind. Embrace
your children’s ragged
praise and that of friends.
Go ahead, take it off,
take it all off.
Run naked into tempests.
Weave flowers
into your hair. Bellow at
cataracts.
If you dare, scream at the
gods. Babble as
if you thought words could
save. Drink rain like cold
beer. So much better than
making theories.
We’d all come with you,
laughing, if we could.
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